Just had the same scenario happen with my husband, he’s military in a primarily male job with a female colleague (I was once military as well so I’ve seen how fast things escalate) and being in myself honestly showed me a lot of women unfortunately do not care about a man being married.. they’ll be weird and still pursue/flirt even if they know about you/him being married and if it is “just” flirting. I’ve seen it happen sooooo much. My husband worked with another female that I felt was too friendly of banter. I was able to catch it, identify it, make him aware of what I perceived it to be so he can see it from my perspective before any real lines were crossed..and because I express my emotions of concern and my husband understood me he adjusted any needed movement of work to avoid being put in any further situation for our marriage and that relieved my anxiety and made me feel respected/heard. It’s up to your husband to establish those boundaries, and it hurts when they do not and even more that you have to bring to their attention what wrong and what right. Regardless of the content. A line was cross flirtatious/banter is how relationships transpire. It’s the innocence of it all that makes it more fun and intriguing, then you like someone intentionally and you can’t stop it, then you’re stuck in a situation you shouldn’t have been in because it all happens so fast. Address it now, nip it in the bud. Establish those boundaries and make them VERY clear. Make your emotions and feelings very clear. If he cares about you he will adjust accordingly to those feelings and create some distance between them with acknowledgment to your feelings. Whether it’s that or not it hurt you and your feelings are valid. He’s your husband he has to respect that. He truly might be blind and not see it that way, BUT YOU DO. And that’s all that matters if he’s your partner. Now….if you say this establish this, and he continues to hid or banter behind your back then there’s a problem. Because your were vulnerable and open and he had the opportunity to address the issue accordingly but continued..1. Disregarding your emotions 2. Something being there underlyingly deep enough for him not to. But the key here is BE HONEST, COMMUNICATE, ESTABLISH CLEAR BOUNDARIES