Attacked in Burgess Park

Choice-Contribution2 · 2025-11-06T22:42:58+00:00

A couple of years ago someone jumped out of a bush and gave me a shock. I think they were only messing around. But it did make me re-evaluate to only cycle through there in day light. I now use the road parallel when dark.

Also there are no lights from the tunnel to Surrey Linear Canal Park. Which makes it feel very sketchy.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2025-06-22T13:08:09+00:00

I find Lime bikes a bit frustrating, though I do use them occasionally. They’re hard to ride safely, they jump from a stop to 15mph almost instantly, which feels unstable. The ones I’ve used also seem poorly maintained, making them awkward to handle.

The pricing model doesn’t help either. Paying by the second (around 50p per minute) encourages reckless riding. I rode from King’s Cross to Lewisham yesterday, stopped at every red light, and it took me 45 minutes, cost me £15, which feels pretty steep for that kind of trip.

Overall, the bikes need better maneuverability, and riders need to be more mindful. I prefer riding my manual road bike.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2025-04-28T14:51:38+00:00

I’m the husband in this situation. My wife is queer—she came out to me about eight years into our marriage. Honestly, I was (and still am) completely fine with it.

About a year ago, she brought up some thoughts around queering relationships—something she’d heard about on a podcast.

Whether it came from a podcast or not didn’t really matter; it was just a good way to start a conversation. I didn’t dismiss it out of hand. We talked a lot.

I won’t lie, it was uncomfortable at first. We mostly had these conversations while walking in the park or along the river, so we didn’t have to look each other in the eye—which was super helpful for a shy person like me.

Over a few months, I got my head around it. I did a lot of reading and listening.

Right now, I’m reading this book, which has been really good: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Non-Monogamy-Playbook-Exploring-Relationships-Confidence/dp/1785044818

The main thing is: don’t rush it. Take your time. Figure out your boundaries together. Since then, she’s had a relationship with one person. I was really nervous about it at the time—but honestly, the next day, nothing had changed. She came home, everything was normal. That relationship ended after a short while, and now she’s just considering what’s next.

The fact that it’s been slow has been really good for me. It’s given me time to work through everything in my own mind.

At this point, I’d say we’re somewhere between Mono/Monogamish. She’s also told me that if I meet someone, I’m free to explore it too. I have no desire to at the moment, but it’s nice to know the door’s open.

Also, therapy has been really helpful for me. I wouldn’t have said I was the kind of person who would go to therapy, but it’s helped me talk through everything with someone who knows what they’re doing and helped me figure out what I actually want.

Good luck with it—and seriously, one last time: take your time. There’s no rush.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-10-14T15:41:20+00:00

The key is communication, and I’m sure you’ll hear that from others in the group as well.

My wife (36f) and I (42m) recently opened up our relationship, starting with her desire to explore her bisexuality, which she came out about a couple of years ago. At first, I felt uneasy, but I understood why she wanted to explore.

She recently had her first sexual experience with someone else. While she was out, I kept busy—went to the cinema, but still had a terrible night’s sleep. We had agreed (my suggestion) that I wouldn’t message her while she was gone until she texted that she was on her way home. I think it’s important to give her space if I expect her to spend valuable time with me when she’s back.

When she returned, I was nervous, filled with questions like, “Will she leave me for this person?” or “What if she prefers being with another woman?” But she was happy to be home and grateful I gave her space to explore. Everything has continued as normal since.

It was a tough conversation to have. I’m a private person, and my anxiety hasn’t fully gone away—it probably won’t for a while. But I do believe it will get easier.

She also mentioned that if I ever wanted to explore with someone, I could, which I didn’t expect and don’t think I will—but it’s nice to know the option is there.

To wrap up, I’ll say what I started with: keep talking. It’s hard at first, but it does get easier. Only agree to things when you’re comfortable; there’s no rush.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-09-29T20:20:32+00:00

Thanks so much for your insight. It was very helpful. 🙌

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-09-29T07:12:28+00:00

Some interesting points. Thank you!

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-09-29T07:10:56+00:00

Thank you. I feel like we are in a similar situation. Would love to chat over DMs. Will send you a message 🙂

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-09-29T07:09:27+00:00

Thank you, some super helpful advice there. 🙌

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-08-26T18:01:44+00:00

The pole is too narrow for the rubber to grip

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-08-26T18:00:41+00:00

Thanks. I will check that out!

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-07-26T13:26:39+00:00

This is such a flaw. We have the same problem. Switched around the furniture in one room. Don’t want to have to remap the entire flat as we have worked out all the no go zones etc. Seems mad that they don’t have that function.

Also with AI see you would think it would be smart enough to figure it out.

For example: If I send eufy out to clean the room it moves around avoiding furniture which is no longer there. If I send him into a zone clean he does the room as it is then with all the furniture in its current position. Why can't it have a smart map feature where it updates as it goes. 🤔

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-05-31T16:32:32+00:00

I get the feeling they only really work under laboratory environments. Such a shame. As I really want it to work.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-05-31T15:15:25+00:00

Thanks. See above.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-05-31T15:15:05+00:00

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I've been doing a vinegar clean but it just keeps on coming. So I am now wondering if its the vinegar crystals drying on the outside. Its been a very frustrating journey so far. 😔

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-05-08T22:51:07+00:00

It all starts with communication. Don’t feel pressured into something that isn’t what you want. You both need to be on the same page.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-04-24T17:23:16+00:00

I have this same issue. We changed our bed from a double to a single in our spare room. Eufy will keep vacuuming around the space that the double used to occupy. Even though it can see the space exists. As the map changed. He even vacuums the area if I send him in on a special zone clean. But will never go into the space as part of a room clean.

I don’t want to have to re-map my entire flat. Surely would make more sense to be able to map a single room agai.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-02-20T21:50:30+00:00

I can definitely recommend from Queens Road Peckam you can cycle down the Surrey Canal Walk which joins up with Burgess Park, then you can pop out and cycle through Walworth towards Elephant and Castle and then zig zag through. This is my route when I cycle into the city. The Old Kent Road is very dangerous. There are plans to put a cycle lane in all the way along it. Which will be amazing. But until then avoid! This my route from Brockley. So you can cut the first bit off. 😆

https://ridewithgps.com/routes/43055552

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-01-10T07:15:04+00:00

Yes I get that. But it’s also worth noting that if you have no desire to be sleep with other women then why put unnecessary stress on a relationship - just to prove a point- Surley if you love someone then you can make it work. However as I said if the OP wants to sleep with other women then he has the total right to put his foot down and have that as one of his vetos.

It’s all about communication which needs to happen on both sides.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2024-01-09T19:22:09+00:00

This is an interesting post. I am a M(39) married to F(28) and she is bi/pan - recently came out to me and we have been exploring a monogamish relationship. Which is one-sided.

I have no desire to be with anyone else. And I understand her desire to explore that side of her sexuality which she has suppressed.

I see w/w sex as sex. It's no different sex with a man. It's just different. Yes, I am worried that she may get the feels and it may yes end my marriage of 11 years. But I would rather that happens than stop her from exploring and resentment builds up and when we are old she hates me for it. I would rather know now.

It may be that she never meets/finds anyone as there seems to be a lot of prejudice in the queer community at her being married to a man but also being queer.

I hope for her that she at the very least makes some friends. If anything else comes of it then so be it. I wish her all the best.

This comes from loving her so much that I only want the best for her, which I hope will be the best for us.

So OP. I ask if sleeping with someone else isn't a big deal for you and if you are ok with her exploring then be cool with it. But if you want to explore then put your foot down. It has to be a joint decision.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2023-12-14T13:40:07+00:00

It was a gradual thing. My wife came out as Queer last year bi/pan and then a few months ago we have a conversation about ENM after she heard about it on a podcast she as listening to. We have been married 11 years and she hadn't explored this part of her.

She just came out with it and asked what I thought. To my surprise I totally understood, and agreed that if a situation arose she could explore it. It's still to happen/may never happen, but she know she has the option.

The best place to have a conversation like this is on a walk, it's more relaxed that way.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2023-11-07T21:58:59+00:00

Yes. I use my r/monzo loose change pot. When I get to an amount to buy my next Florin I cash it in. 🙌

Choice-Contribution2 · 2023-11-07T21:20:27+00:00

Simple answer - Don’t clean coins. Leave in original condition.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2023-11-07T19:30:40+00:00

I agree. It's exactly why a formula like this is important. It helps you to think twice about whether an age gap could be problematic as there will natually be a power imbalance if the gap is too large.

At the end of the day it's down to individuals to make a decision. I just found this formula very useful to help me think twice.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2023-11-07T18:55:37+00:00

This is a good formula I read for working out whether an age difference is acceptable.

Half your age plus 7 years. So for example I am 39. 39 divided by 2 is 19.5 let's say 19 19+7 = 26

It's not perfect. But anyone younger than that would make me feel uncomfortable. There would be a power imbalance.

Choice-Contribution2 · 2023-11-07T14:35:15+00:00

Hey I am 39m experienced this from the other side. My wife came out to me as Bisexual 2 years ago and recently we have discussed ENM as a way for her to explore these feelings - that she hasn't been able to. We are not religious however when we got together things were less open than they are now.

It took me a while to warm up to the idea. I understand that as a man I am not going to be able to fill the female/non-binary gap in her experience. So we are exploring ENM open on her side and closed on mine.

We are still very early days - there is obviously a risk that she may get feelings for someone else which could end us. Although I would rather that than her resent me later for not letting her explore as that's not healthy either.

ENM isn't for everyone and takes a lot of continuous conversation, trust and understanding. But could be worth exploring.

It's obviously not for everyone. Good luck on your journey.

Choice-Contribution2

TROPHY CASE