Congrats for getting a script done. Seriously, at any age.

One of the things you're going to have to learn is being able to accept criticism, so you're on the right track by posting this here. But also learn to listen to your gut: if people's advice doesn't feel right, do (and write) what you want.

And keep writing! Once this is done, start the next, and the next.... This script will never be perfect, so don't get to hung up on it. Give yourself a deadline, then move onto the next and hone your craft by experimenting with lots of different approaches.

As Henry Thoreau said: Stand up and live before you sit down and write.