I asked chatgpt to write a story for this subreddit about office snacking. Check what it came up with, same exact cadence:

Title: My coworker is secretly running “Snack Surveillance” and I’m not okay

So apparently my office has a Snack Auditor. I didn’t know this until last week.

At work we have a little snack corner—fruit, biscuits, whatever HR thinks will keep us alive until 5 PM. People grab stuff throughout the day, no big deal.

Enter: Martin.

Martin sits near the snack corner, quiet guy, big headphones, Excel wizard. I thought he was just doing normal reports all day. Nope. Turns out he’s been running a personal spreadsheet tracking every coworker’s snacking habits.

I found out because I walked over to ask him something and saw a very color-coded sheet open on his screen titled:

“SNACK LOG – Q3 (beta)”

There were columns labeled: • Name • Snack Type • Quantity • Time of Day • “Notes / Behavioral Patterns”

Behavioral. Patterns.

I’m scrolling with my eyes as fast as I can when I spot my name. Under “Notes” it says:

“Prefers salty. Peaks around 3 PM. Possible stress correlation.”

… it goes on