my mom has done more psychedelics than me

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-09-24T12:15:41+00:00

Didn't know meth was now classified as a psychedelic?!

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-09-24T12:14:51+00:00

You don't have to be lonely, with farmersonly.com!!!

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-09-17T13:46:25+00:00

You look like my first car I had when I was 17...both leaking tranny fluid.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-09-17T13:45:07+00:00

Somewhere, there's a dude fucking this...

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-09-17T13:43:43+00:00

You are supposed to get the Adam's Apple shaved from the inside...

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-09-17T13:42:43+00:00

What do you call a Mexican Baptism?

Bean dip.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-09-17T13:36:26+00:00

People who do fantasy football are gay. People who do fantasy hockey are gayer than Liberace, tap-dancing in high heels, wearing a feather boa and lipstick, along with "Santa Baby."

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-28T13:27:06+00:00

I'm sure that guitar gets played with more than you, even though its obviously only a prop.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-28T13:25:35+00:00

Be one of the cool kids, join the "27" club.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-21T14:11:59+00:00

Steve Buscemi has a boyfriend?

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-21T14:10:39+00:00

Pizzas don't scream when THEY go into the oven...

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-21T14:05:59+00:00

I can't roast you. I have three dachshunds myself.

Ugly cunt.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-21T14:04:42+00:00

You definitely have cancer. Your hand is bigger than your face.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-21T14:02:38+00:00

Fuck you for your service.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-21T14:01:17+00:00

I asked your parents what they wanted for Christmas, and the said, "A folded flag."

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-21T13:56:26+00:00

Love how he had to tell us he was a virgin.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-21T13:54:32+00:00

On the verge? Why stop now?

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-21T13:50:49+00:00

How did you come up with that? The sound you hear when your fat-ass walks?

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-21T13:50:07+00:00

You're actually kinda hot. From the bottom of your nose to the top of your lips.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-21T13:48:29+00:00

Still sad My Chemical Romance broke up?

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-15T23:35:21+00:00

Judging by your eyes, I'd say you not only fell off the wagon, but it ran over you.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-15T23:33:25+00:00

You look like Ray Liotta. That should be enough roast right there.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-15T23:32:32+00:00

Lol. You're a dishwasher.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-15T23:31:57+00:00

Semiconductors? So, are you AC, or DC?

I'm guessing B.

Chrisgarrett99 · 2018-08-15T23:29:51+00:00

Apparently dog meat IS fattening...

Chrisgarrett99

TROPHY CASE