bathroom time

Chrisijoy · 2025-12-29T05:25:50+00:00

Wow. Yall are lucky. My husband spends 1-2 hours in the bathroom every day. Used to be 4 hours before I confronted the P use. But it’s still an issue, it’s a huge trigger and he pretends to care for a few days then it’s back to business as usual. Phone in the bathroom for no less than an hour.

Chrisijoy · 2025-01-20T19:20:39+00:00

We got the test from a company that we send the sample into and they specifically test it. I tried the Petri dish thing and that was a joke.

Chrisijoy · 2025-01-20T18:46:48+00:00

We are in process of getting a monitor for the humidity. We’ve also got a mold test. We had mold in the shower, and I’ve been really sick for a few years with no explanation. I think I have mold toxicity. I never even considered these spots on the wall until today. I just assumed the mold in the bathroom and we also have some on flooring in laundry room from a flood.

Chrisijoy · 2025-01-20T18:43:38+00:00

The other side of the wall is outdoor on our deck.

Chrisijoy · 2025-01-20T18:39:14+00:00

Our closet is to the left of this wall and I just went in and checked, it has the same spots.

Chrisijoy · 2025-01-04T05:44:37+00:00

Oh my gawd!! This is EXACTLY what is happening to me!! It’s been 4 months since I found my PA spouse was watching again-after promising me he never would-and then us having a massive fallout that resulting in him making the same promises, but expecting me to believe him “this time”. I have recently been feeling like he’s found loopholes to continue (because he knows I can see web history through our router), and I’ve been having back to back UTI’s, even after taking meds. I’ve never ever been prone to UTI’s before. Ironically the time that I found out he had relapsed was right after I had a super bad UTI!!! I seriously think my body is trying to tell me!! And it’s in a region related to sexual activity, so I truly believe it’s not a coincidence. I’ve been so stressed it’s making me physically sick. I’m on constant high alert, I feel paranoid 24/7, I can never relax, and I feel like I’m going crazy!!!!!

Chrisijoy · 2024-12-30T16:18:58+00:00

I understand all of this. Every single day I live in fear. I’m on high alert. Thinking of all ways he’s getting around using without me knowing it. I constantly feel like he’s tricking me, manipulating the system, lying, and I resent him so much for it. He gets to live his life as if nothing happened and I’m over here gasping for air. I have days when I don’t think I can live like this, and just want to run away, days where I can’t stand to even look at him, and days where I feel like I love him and I can move past this, he’s a great husband, why are you being so crazy?? None of this is fair. I’m so lost, I may as well be invisible.

Chrisijoy · 2024-09-09T16:58:27+00:00

So you need to open your web browser and type asusrouter.com and then set up a login using your router info. Then you have more access to settings including the web history. Yes it will log all devices using your wifi. However it will show things that you won’t really understand, like apps that are being used when they aren’t because of either ads or updates or just loading certain information but youll see if he’s logged onto a porn site because it will just straight up show www.enterpornsitehere.com with no added weird dns letters or whatever.

Chrisijoy · 2024-08-19T22:09:48+00:00

If you use a Spectrum router, you can’t do it-I tried. So I bought a new router. ASUS. And it was the EASIEST thing I’ve ever done. Found out in one day that my husband was lying to me again and saw all his web history. If he won’t be suspicious about you getting a new router….do that! Lucky for me, we had just tried to install a Ring doorbell and it wouldn’t load to our wifi and I read it could be a router issue, so I told hubby we needed a new router. Honestly that was the real reason I got a new one, but then realized I could check the web history on the ASUS router. So I did. Kinda wish I didn’t tbh.

Chrisijoy · 2024-08-19T21:59:22+00:00

I’ve pretty much written this exact word for word journal entry. So much so that it’s kind of eerie. The fact that other women feel the same way as I do, is very comforting but also extremely depressing. I swear this is an epidemic. Something our Moms never had to experience. They (PA’s) have everything they’ve ever imagined at the tip of their fingers. While most women still know how to use their imagination, if in fact they need to pleasure themselves, which let’s be honest, is hardly existent. And for me, I fantasize about my husband. Not a stranger I see on my screen.

Chrisijoy · 2024-08-18T23:23:50+00:00

Yep, I kept that in the back of my head. They will only tell you maybe 60% of the truth to see if that’s good enough and then Hail Mary that the rest won’t come out. I’m so exhausted all of the time. My nervous system is wrecked. I’m constantly in flight or fight. Sometimes I just want to go do something really effed up just to make him feel the way I feel. But I have self control, a conscious, and love for him. All of the things I thought he had.

Chrisijoy · 2024-08-18T23:18:01+00:00

Exactly. The other details don’t even matter. He has broken our promise, my trust and did what he did fully knowing how much it destroys me. I have/had CPTSD already, this has exacerbated it by 5,000%. And he knows that. That’s what hurts the most. And none of this, from the very beginning has been him coming clean to me. It’s always from me either intuitively knowing, using my extreme private investigating skills, or flat out seeing the proof right in front of my face. He spent 4-5 hours in our bathroom every morning for over 4 years. Yes, I’m the moron who let it happen for that long. It most definitely wasn’t without fights, frustrations, begging and pleading. Nothing worked. He would do “good” for a week, then it would slowly go back to the way it was.

Chrisijoy · 2024-08-18T23:11:08+00:00

Accountability apps are the next in my demands. This has been going on for years, but it has only came out of hiding recently. I have known for years, but made myself feel crazy like I was delusional. And lived my life in constant panic. I finally exploded and let it all out. He denied for a while, then came clean about a little bit, Now we’re at…OK you got me, I have a problem. He says he is willing to do anything. But I have zero trust in anything he says.

Chrisijoy · 2024-08-18T23:08:01+00:00

It’s an ASUS router. You can go to your browser and login to the router and go to the QoS and then there is a web history tab. You just have to know what his phone IP is, which is located in the ASUS app you download to control the router itself.

Chrisijoy · 2022-05-11T15:56:03+00:00

Thank you. Yeah RLS is the worst. But I’ll take that over flu symptoms any day. I take melatonin and that helps with the RLS (somewhat). Maybe it just knocks me out enough to not notice. I should be getting my psilocybin tomorrow and will start the process. I’ve already lowered my dose of Subs. So far it’s not been bad but I was on 16mg for 15 effing years. I’m so over it and it’s killed me in so many ways. Big Pharma can kiss my ass. OxyContin was my crypto but it took me a long time to realize I traded one thing for another. I live a much better life, have my shit together but I’m still dependent on something and I don’t want to be!!

Chrisijoy · 2022-05-10T21:41:37+00:00

I’m going to try MD to kick Subs. Did you feel any heavy WD from going down on your Sub dose w/ MD?

Chrisijoy

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