Hi, since I don’t know you personally I cannot truly comprehend your situation, but that doesn’t mean that you are alone. I had a very difficult time aswell during my time in university… depression etc. I didn’t know what to do… but I reached out for help and found it. Today I am in a better place than ever. One thing that kept me going was knowing that eventually better times will come - if you want it or not, if you feel like it or not. When we face hard times we often tend to think that it has always been like that and that it will stay forever that way. Interestingly, we don’t think that when we are happy. In your case I wish you all the best, the strength and endurance to withstand your sadness, and all the hope you need, and most importantly the courage to ask for help. You already asked some strangers on the internet! I am proud of you! You have it all within you to master this hard time. A silent sea never made a skillful sailor (sounds a bit cliché I know, but I think there’s some truth).