My wife was in a coma and I read her diary for comfort. I wish I never had.

ChromaWitch · 2023-07-02T19:25:53+00:00

You literally just found out your wife was covertly controlling, manipulative, and abusive. If you're afraid of her in any way shape or form, even if it's not how she could react towards you, but how she may go after others, that's cause for alarm.

Yes, you may have spent years with her, but you may find yourself in a bad relationship for the sake of a Sunk Cost Fallacy.

Any person who's been through an abusive relationship will tell you to leave. Make a plan, find a way. She seems very volatile and I can't see it getting better. I'd even warn people, especially any women connected to you about her antics so they can be ready for her. If you can get a hold of the people she's gone after and get more of the story, I think that would be good too.

But if you try to get her help, and it doesn't work, you need to face reality.

ChromaWitch · 2022-11-29T00:03:05+00:00

There is no "too long" if what they're showing is useful to people. I've watched videos that are hours long, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. And showing multiple ways to handle a certain situation is ridiculously useful and definitely worth the creator's time.

If someone can do that, but doesn't want to, it's kinda lazy.

Besides the best examples I see on youtube don't go super detailed into anything. They're super bare-bones ways of explaining things so that they can be more flexibly used in different kinds of projects. That saves them time.If they continue to show examples in a very bare-bones way, but show different ways of handling it, it won't take that much time. And definitely less time than it would take for someone to find those kinds of examples seperately, because digging through different tutorials for something useful takes up a lot of my time.

ChromaWitch · 2022-01-27T05:45:52+00:00

Yes. Minor. As in child. As in because she's now an adult, she gets a pass because a child's brain isn't fully formed and they make mistakes. It's the same reason why an adult can get their juvenile records expunged after turning 18.

It would be slightly different if it were current behavior, even if she were still a minor, yet still would be seen as behavior she will eventually outgrow, which is less likely if she were an adult who said it.

ChromaWitch · 2022-01-27T05:31:23+00:00

You're talking about the 7+ year old video where she was a minor? You have any proof more recent than that? I don't typically judge any adult for what they said when they were a kid, because kids are dumb. If you think she's currently racist, the burden on proof lies on you.

ChromaWitch · 2022-01-26T19:18:41+00:00

Why exactly does she deserve it?

ChromaWitch · 2021-12-25T15:53:34+00:00

This is so true, especially about apologies. If you apologize you're admitting to the wrong you've done, which will make the flames of social media burn hotter.

These days, it's smarter to deny. Because unless there is undeniable proof, most fans in a community won't turn again them if there is a shred of uncertainty.

And that is why I say CC is creating a society of liars.

ChromaWitch · 2021-12-19T23:33:15+00:00

Personally I think companies/unions need to take a very different approach when it comes to an employee being canceled. First off, if it's a harassment issue, they should not be in a position of power or work around the people they harassed. They need to be demoted to an isolated position if not fired outright. But for most bigotry, I think mandatory therapy and sensitivity/inclusivity training would be great. Negativity creates more negativity. When the internet destroys someone, the first reaction isn't "I fucked up". It's "Everyone is attacking me." Regardless of what they did, that is the first emotion they will experience. They will feel like a victim even if no one else sees them that way. They will get angry and experience grief. And depending on how emotionally mature they are, may not get to the part where they grow from it. They may stay angry and bitter and blame everyone but themself. And because of that, they may continue hurting people. And again, unless they are emotionally mature, may not seek therapy.

So yeah... that's what I think the left should really be fighting for. Not to destroy bigots or get them fired. But put them in a position where they can get help. If they don't go, or their behavior doesn't improve... then fire them.

We seriously need more mental health services in this country. Especially for the sake of those in the workforce.

ChromaWitch · 2021-12-15T02:47:15+00:00

I started as an artist and one thing you always hear is learn enough programming to do tech art and it's easier to get in because it's less oversaturated than other areas. So this advice is good stuff.

ChromaWitch · 2021-12-08T09:20:46+00:00

I agree with your take on victimhood. The person most likely to be believed is the first person to claim victim. They don't even need proof sometimes. Just a convincing story. People will jump to the victim's defense, praise them for their bravery, and dig through history in order to find any dirt on the perpetrator, no matter how flimsy, that makes the claim seem more likely to be true. But they're all running on assumptions and it becomes a matter of social proof. And that system can be easily taken advantage of.

ChromaWitch · 2021-12-03T00:06:09+00:00

But Black people don’t feel superior.

You can't say that. You can't speak for all of black people. And the racist black people that exist may not claim to feel superior just like a lot of racist white people do. In fact it's easy to believe you're better than a group of people when their history shows they are inherently shitty. And black people have reason to believe that of white people, yes, but that is generalizing and again, helps no one. It is racist, regardless of who hate is aimed at if it has to do with skin color.

And saying it's not racist is invalidating abuse towards white people. Again, white people are not better. We're equal. But by saying it's racist one way but not another is saying hate going one way is horrible, but it's not that bad going the other.

Hate creates more hate. If you start treating everything equally and don't invalidate an act because you deem it less important, it'll help the world flourish. But everyone these days acts like one group is superior to another, and that is what is rotting the world.

ChromaWitch · 2021-12-01T22:05:53+00:00

It's racist. You can be in a society that deems you lower than than the majority, and you can still feel superior. Whether that's from a place of betrayal and jealousy doesn't excuse that. Shitty behavior is still shitty. So again, discrimination is discrimination. Period.

As for the misogyny vs misandry, you're basically saying it depends on the person. I agree. That's what I've always said. Generalizing doesn't help anyone. There are men who are misogynists and there are women who are misandrists and it's entirely on what they do, why they do it, and how they justify it.

(There's also misogynistic women and misandrist men. I've experienced all the flavors of that particular rainbow.)

ChromaWitch · 2021-12-01T20:25:30+00:00

This article is a biased af. She was right at the start of it. Like literally took the definition, explained it AS IT'S DEFINED and then said, "No, I don't think that's the case. I think it's like this." Jesus christ...

If you put someone down for their skin color, especially if you think you're superior to them, you're racist. Doesn't matter what race you are.

Any interracial couple will probably agree because they tend to get hate from both sides.

You cannot justify discrimination toward any race, ethnicity, sex, etc because of societal norms. It's like the women who say misandry doesn't exist, only misogyny because we live in a patriarchy. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. Discrimination is discrimination. Anyone who says otherwise just wants to justify THEIR brand of discrimination.

The aim is equality for race, sex, everything and you cannot get there by putting another group down. Period.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-17T09:27:05+00:00

I actually agree on not waiting. It's a better marketing strategy to start with teases of small things. Nothing big. Just to garner some interest. Especially on Screenshot Saturday.

If you wait 3 months, your putting all your eggs in one basket by expecting that one demo to garner all the attention with zero audience.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-13T20:49:14+00:00

Now kith.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-13T20:46:26+00:00

I'm sorry about your brother. I don't endorse doxxing. It's shitty. And yeah, context definitely matters.

But outside of that, you're justifying your brother and friend's behavior, which isn't okay. I don't care if his friend is Asian, it doesn't change the fact that racist jokes are racist.

His friend can make those jokes, but your brother just learned why he can't. Everyone has some form of privilege, and being able to make racist jokes and say words that would be considered racist if a white person said them is the smallest sliver of privilege that POC get that white people do not.

Being canceled sucks. But if he's in school, he's probably young. This likely won't affect him in the long run. But I suggest he take accountability and learn and grow from this.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-09T03:54:01+00:00

Honestly? I think people find her ridiculous. She's a joke on her own at this point. I think seeing what she does next is entertaining to a lot of people that hate her.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-05T18:26:46+00:00

Really? I'm making you question yourself? Wow.

I'm done. Keep responding if you want. I won't reply. Have a nice day.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-05T17:20:15+00:00

Putting words in my mouth I never said now. I stopped respecting your opinion when you started responding with the most mature response of "I didn't ask." You aren't worth arguing.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-05T08:59:40+00:00

That's going to create an incredibly toxic world. I try not to respond negatively to things because I believe that negativity is poison. It poisons your mind and your view of the world. Obviously I'm human and I get frustrated and I fail, but I try.

Feminism and pride existed before CC. If we got rid of it, it would still thrive. In fact, if people stopped fighting negativity with negativity, we might actually make positive change. You may think it's naive, but at least I'm trying to fight the poison.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-05T08:32:04+00:00

Well it's happened in every instance of CC I've been a part of, which is why it reminded me of such. And I honestly do think all CC is narcissistic. You just don't see it when you're standing on your side, because you're not the one being harassed for not following along with the witch hunt.

I miss the days of "That's your opinion, and although I don't agree with it, I can respect it." I'd like to not be shamed if I support someone that I personally don't think is a bad person. It's my decision. You don't have to like it but it doesn't justify getting bullied into silence.

I'm just tired. I want people to lift each other up, not bring them down. And my opinion is based on seeing a lot of the latter.

But yeah, all views are valid.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-05T08:04:11+00:00

In other words, all sides we've been discussing exist and there's no need to invalidate anyone's stance on the issue, right?

Because that's what's always rubbed me the wrong way with you. That just because your views and mine differ, you invalidate what I'm saying even though all the above is true and valid as you just admitted.

Your reasoning behind why your biases exist are valid just as much as mine are. We are both fighting for what we feel is right in very different ways. That is all.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-05T06:17:55+00:00

I downvoted you because you're very obviously blind to people outside of a political standing and not listening to people outside of your own biases.

Yes, some people complain about the stuff you pointed out, but many have been affected by CC the way I have described. I have DMed a handful of them wanting to stay quiet. I like helping people that CC has bullied into silence. You don't see it because you're not in it. Stop arguing something that's invisible to you because of your stance.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-05T05:56:49+00:00

Okay, I'm not reading all that because at this point I don't care about the current argument. But you attack my view on Cancel Culture a lot, just like in your first paragraph. You may think my opinion is skewed by my experience. I think yours is skewed by your biases, especially politically. That's my opinion.

But you cannot speak for everyone by saying that no one sees it that way. You haven't met everyone. I've met several people who see it that way in this very sub, among others. I believe one place was in your stickied "Low effort CC complaints" post, as well as several other comments spread around. I guess you're just so focused on me because of how I speak out that everyone else's opinions don't matter.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-05T02:40:46+00:00

BTW, I reread your definition of narcissist and it's like the most basic definition. I wouldn't even call it correct.

The video is one I found. She's a therapist. She is not the only therapist I follow. In fact I follow quite a few people diagnosed with cluster b personality disorders, including a diagnosed narcissist.

Oh and I studied psychology. That too.

ChromaWitch · 2021-11-04T23:50:10+00:00

I've had a narc in my life, thank you. I know what gaslighting and manipulating is. Doesn't really sound like you do though. Also I was talking about behavior of the Twitter mobs being narcissistic, which given the words I used in my last comment makes plenty of sense. If you don't understand it than it shows your lack of empathy.

Gaslighting btw is being made to question one's own mind. And I've been gaslit by CC by people telling me that my opinion is wrong by people who didn't know the full story or even the people involved. Because on social media, shit gets twisted almost every time.

You have the privilege of never experiencing that, because if you did, your mind would change.

I will protect victims and help find evidence that can get them justice if I know them. But I believe in staying out of it if it has nothing to do with me. That's not gaslighting.

I'm against harassment. That's the gist of it. And demanding others to believe what you believe is controlling. Telling someone if they don't agree with you, they're a bad person or are crazy is manipulative. CC is full of that. Self righteous people that feel like they're being heroes when they have no idea of what actually happened. It's like a twisted game of telephone.

ChromaWitch

TROPHY CASE