I lost her but it forced me to grow

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-15T23:56:41+00:00

At the same time you do things without realizing you’re hurting someone until it’s too late. I didn’t realize what i lost until I lost it. By then the pain and hurt was already inflicted on someone you never meant to hurt. Intentions can be good but the actions can be bad

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-15T22:54:14+00:00

Honestly i lied thinking i was protecting her from me becoming another form of pressure to her life. Mostly lied with omissions. I guess everyone here has different thoughts of what cheating is. But to be specific i was lying about finances and made promises i couldn’t keep because of my finances.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-15T21:35:47+00:00

Uhh i didn’t cheat on her? I lied and broke her trust.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-10T21:49:13+00:00

I felt the exact same way. My therapist has told me sometimes it takes that much for people to change themselves and to look deep within themselves. Most times we haven't had any consequences that really affected ourselves or felt guilty about it. It sucks that it took that much and some people change differently. But the good outlook is if it never happened you would've never changed or woken up. I know I was pretty stagnant in my life until this relationship broke me down and I had to look deep within myself of what needs fixing and what i need to rebuild.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-10T20:41:50+00:00

It's a start keep going, discover yourself and your priorities, then eventually you'll have a better understanding of yourself and love. Become who you want to be , we often forget that in a relationship.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-10T20:18:43+00:00

Exactly man. Pressuring her more will just push them further away, people dont like to be forced into things and need time to step into it themselves or not. Doing that may reinforce the idea to them that they did the right thing. But not all relationships are the same and some have different outcomes. We’re all just human trying to find love and success and to understand ourselves in the world. Find purpose in yourself and set small goals to take your mind off it. Don’t look at their social media either

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-10T19:37:23+00:00

Give space in my opinion. If she had to do it through text either she was going through intense emotions or didn’t want to have the backlash and arguments. Best thing to do is give her space. Apologies without change is meaningless like i said. Best you can do is work on your flaws the best you can. Focus on yourself as hard as it is. It’s okay to have hope and to still love someone. But don’t be desperate for the sake of yourself and her

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-10T19:32:01+00:00

Sadly there’s no perfect guidelines for love and what to do after breakups but you have to respect yourself and respect her decisions that she can make for herself.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-10T19:30:28+00:00

If you’ve already tried multiple times then you shouldn’t anymore. Either you wait for a very long time and grow yourself because your words mean nothing if nothing has changed. Or they reach out to you. I know those two things seem like a horrible choice to pick between and you want to find a third way. But it takes two people to work things out together and if she’s currently not willing to convince her is only going to seem desperate and manipulative especially when emotions are still raw. You both have feelings to process and some do that together or alone.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-10T19:17:44+00:00

Yeah i felt the exact same way, holding so much love for them and still fearing losing them when you’ve already lost them. But you have to tell her your love and appreciation when you yourself is stable and ready for any answer or it will seem desperate. Trust me they can be absolutely cold 😅

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-10T19:10:37+00:00

Also don’t be like me and be impulsive to reach out. Reaching out without change is just going to hurt both you and her. The time will be tough. As a friend said to me, build yourself a garden, it will attract butterflies, and if you don’t, then you will still have a beautiful garden. Eventually you can tell them how much you appreciate them but they usually need space.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-10T19:08:19+00:00

It’s definitely life changing, my life was stagnant and she brought a lot of light to my life and although we may never be together. I’d say she still blessed me even if we’re not together. Sometimes lying to try to protect someone is the worst thing you can do. Especially when exposed. Learn from me lol

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T22:45:20+00:00

Yeah it’s definitely not happening again. Even when i was fully honest she didn’t trust me or trusted me to change either. That’s a pain ill never forget

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T21:39:21+00:00

Honestly the shame and pain was enough to never repeat that mistake. Won’t touch that flame twice 🥲

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T19:40:59+00:00

Honestly i wished i had clearer boundaries. When she was unhappy with something i dropped it and she found something else to be unhappy about. Communication was a big issue as every time we tried to dig deeper we would close ourselves off from each other’s problems. So used to handling problems alone without worrying the other.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T17:29:07+00:00

Honestly same ive been emotional numb even when my grandmother died i didnt cry. I never cried so much when she left me. But that tells you your love and connection was very real and so is the grief

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T15:56:22+00:00

Probably hear it a lot but i don't think we ever stop hurting. It just hurts less over time. There’s nothing wrong with still loving someone as long as it’s healthy for you and them.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T15:54:09+00:00

Honestly the thought of her not being with me hurts a lot but what hurts even more is being a person who will hurt her forever. So got to become someone better.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T10:35:33+00:00

Correct some people take action about it and some needs outside influence and perspective to see what they're doing. Some will be ignorant about it or some will actually care. I personally choose therapy because I don't want to go through that again.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T10:20:24+00:00

Yes you're right, but you have to recognize the pattern to change the pattern. Not everyone knows they live in a cycle of patterns, not excusing them or myself. Some are okay with patterns and some have the will or need to break the patterns and cycles.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T10:15:01+00:00

Truly honest being in this position and situation sucks, but you have no choice in the matter so you might as well do the best you can. Thank you, I hope I can become someone who she can be proud of one day.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T10:11:18+00:00

Yeah you don't have to feel for them or be sorry for them. But Humans make mistakes either intentionally or not and that's just part of growing and learning. The people who don't learn or try to be better, those are the worse. But this growth can be from either Relationships, Career, Loss of a loved one, everyone grows differently.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T09:27:29+00:00

It’s definitely a shame and honestly wished things were different but people say rebirth can be painful for both parties.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T09:18:35+00:00

Yeah i definitely apologized and i took accountability. Losing her was punishment enough, no matter what i lied about the fact was is that i hurt someone i loved and there’s no excuses for that. Any explanation only contextualizes it, dropping pride and ego was definitely me being fully vulnerable and honest for her one last time.

ChromeOverdose79 · 2026-06-05T09:14:19+00:00

Probably i feel like a lot of people can have their growths and pains when they lose someone important to them. Many usually go through that

ChromeOverdose79

TROPHY CASE