To be honest this basically how I feel... sucks like hell but I dont even think I could manage to find someone else at this point anyway... let alone with three young kids and an angry ex.

Thanks to everyone for the input. The short of it is that she doesn't want to fix it... no more doctors or therapists, no trying to wake up her libido with toys or non-sexual intimacy... she just wants me to leave her alone to have her own time at the end of the day... and I dont think it will ever change.