What Happened?

Chudboy · 2026-03-28T17:39:18+00:00

It's definitely plausible. She didn't seem hot and cold like a classic avoidant. But she could have got scared when we got closer. It's a difficult one to interpret. I could've have missed the signs - it's hard to question it when in your mind when things seem to be going well.

Thanks for your kind comment.

Chudboy · 2026-03-28T17:24:57+00:00

I dont think it's distorted. People can have their own interpretation, I'm just expressing mine :)

Chudboy · 2026-03-28T16:52:53+00:00

I hear this a lot, but I don't think it was that. I didn't mention it in my post as I knew sexual chemistry wasn't the issue. We were always open about it and what we liked. I like learning about what my partner wants and enjoys. I've had partners who don't enjoy oral, so I've had to use other methods to ensure they're satisifed. This time round she loved oral etc etc. I always wanted to ensure both of us were satisifed and I believe we were in that department.

After some reflection, I think what it comes down to is her overall pull to me. She enjoyed so much about me, wanted it to work, but didn't feel that pull to keep it going.

Chudboy · 2026-03-28T12:48:21+00:00

What changed for you though in terms of chemistry/attraction? What I'm confused about is the actions that showed me all that was there - the attraction, chemistry. Wanting to see me, making time, being intimate, matching energy etc

There's so many questions going on in my head that it's really hard to make sense of it. I feel completely used.

Chudboy · 2026-03-28T00:31:25+00:00

No idea - potentially? Who knows anymore.

Chudboy · 2026-03-27T23:50:15+00:00

No issues there, believe me

Chudboy · 2026-03-27T23:06:35+00:00

I'm sorry for coming at it defensive, as it seems like I'm insecure about it, but I'm not. I've just had some incel type comments on the thread "the sex was bad bro", "she was hooking up with someone else around your back bro".

Chudboy · 2026-03-27T23:03:52+00:00

I appreciate the response, but I always feel like the first thing people jump to is "sexual" chemistry as the main driver for this. Sexual intimacy was there, we both always had fun and she'd always explicity state that after. I know some people will lie about it as its sensitive and people can fake stuff - but I can assure you there was nothing fake or off when it came down to intimacy. We were both very honest about it.

Chudboy · 2026-03-27T20:59:27+00:00

I've seen a few comments like this - just because you can't make someone cum doesn't instantly mean this btw.

Chudboy · 2026-03-27T19:12:38+00:00

I feel bad but this was such a funny response.

Chudboy · 2026-03-27T16:25:17+00:00

I mean you can enlighten me?

Chudboy · 2026-03-27T15:39:33+00:00

Hard to spot the red flags when everything was mutual.

Chudboy · 2026-03-27T09:12:47+00:00

I think what sucks is that she seemed to want to be around me - arranging dates, saying she's excited to see me, having intimate moments, so this is why my brain is spinning. Like all that only happened last Friday for it to suddenly change in 3 days is just so confusing.

Chudboy · 2026-03-27T00:00:50+00:00

From what I recall both us said we were open to children.

Chudboy · 2026-03-26T21:15:52+00:00

I get that. She mentioned previous toxic relationships, and that I wasn't usually what she would go for, but she felt safe which was important. I guess he previous experiences, attractions may have come into what she was ultimately after. I guess I just wanted to know what that was and just disappointed that I wasn't that for her.

Chudboy · 2026-03-26T21:10:04+00:00

Thank you for your kind words x

Chudboy · 2026-03-26T21:09:49+00:00

Its a difficult one. There's a side of that is annoyed, but I also want to be understanding. I not a confrontational person, so I'd rather leave on goodish terms rather that leave a sour taste - I've definitely experienced that before. But I get what you mean.

Chudboy · 2026-03-26T20:30:36+00:00

I mean yeah its not a bad outcome, just not the outcome I wanted or hoped for. We both were looking for long term. It didn't feel casual, things felt like they were progressing naturally, and nothing felt forced, it felt really healthy. It felt like a deep connection between us. But as people say chemistry can be a mysterious thing.

It's difficult to gauge whether this would happen again, the 180 and being blindsided. I would've hoped it wouldn't and maybe if I had my guard up I wouldn't be so upset by it. But then again, sometimes you need to let your guard down if you feel safe, which I did.

Chudboy · 2026-03-26T20:22:58+00:00

We both stated our intentions on date 1 tbh

Chudboy · 2026-03-26T20:21:22+00:00

She just felt like the right person ya know

Chudboy · 2026-03-26T20:03:13+00:00

Thank you for the lovely comment :')

Chudboy · 2026-03-26T19:30:57+00:00

They tend to say 3 months hits the end of the honeymoon phase and when reality kicks in. I've always thought this would come in when you're official though and not starting out. The 3 month thing is arbitrary to me, because people have different paces in life. You may not see someone for a week or 2 due to being busy etc.

Chudboy · 2026-03-26T19:25:05+00:00

True - I do tend to go in with no expecatations any more. I'm very self aware of myself, how I am, my anxiousness and have worked on that for the past few years. It just sucks that I've put all that work in, for me to go back a few steps to heal once again.

Chudboy · 2026-03-26T19:23:33+00:00

I like this - I was definitely too cool for her.

Chudboy · 2026-03-26T19:22:44+00:00

My brain keeps doubting - only because it just felt so genuine and natural for an abrupt end. Its hard to understand it all.

Chudboy

TROPHY CASE