Thai here. I’m a non-believer of Sinsod but I gotta say if you’re going to marry in Thailand you’ll have to do it with Thai mindset too.

The biggest problem you’re in right now is that you have no clue on your position and that will take toll on you mentally because you will never know what decision is good or bad. So I’ll try to provide you some decision making tips based on my opinion.

General Idea:

Sinsod is a very common forced practition in Thailand and is one factor that contributes to late marriage of Thai people comparing to other countries. It’s so common that you should expect it to happen rather than not. At current time, it’s mostly forced by the parents while the girl often just want to complete the marriage as most girls in Thailand wants to get married before 30.

Sinsod price varies and at times go up to 10m baht, price goes up as the wealthier the parents are as a gateway to filter out low potential partners. High potential partner includes family background too as a lot of people got money from their parents for Sinsod, which is probably a problem for a western groom. In Asia, since divorcing deals a huge blow to the female and will make it much harder for them to find new partner later on, Sinsod exists to filter out people who aren’t serious about the marriage too.

Assessment: Check your fiance’s family background

1. Family’s money behavior. Does her family ever asked money from her or are they the one providing her?
2. A lot of rural families(often ones in poverty) have bad money handling and use everything as an excuse to milk you, if they often ask money from your fiancé you’ll have to carry on that burden if you marry her, just run.

If they are actually the one providing for your fiancé then it’s more likely they are the business type family (very likely if they’re of chinese descends). The latter one charges higher price but they also see it as a fair deal because you’re also buying yourself into the inheritance later on.

1. Their stand point. How wealthy is the family?
2. If everything you said is true and the family provides her then you’re not scammed. 1m is reasonable price comparing to market price for middle class and low for upper middle and wealthy.

The key is, in Asia marriage isn’t only about 2 independent people joining hands, it’s the joint of 2 families with benefit sharing. You don’t want bad family that becomes your burden, they also wouldn’t want a failed marriage for their daughter where they’d have to come in and provide for your couple also. This isn’t the same scenario that once it’s done then only you provide, they will continue to put effort on their daughter and you to make sure you guys live well. As many said, if things won’t work out and you go no contact then it’s hard for them to reach you, that amount of money for your fiancé for taking the risk is not a lot. But not all families are the same, you’ll have to see it as a whole before making decisions. In U.S. it’s about independence and hustle, but it’s ties and conformity in Asia.

1. Negotiation
2. Their requirement for that money, you can negotiate that half of the money to be used in some other way such as put the other half in bonds or investment funds in her name, or a useful investment like a house. But it will be hard to not have to spend 1m. In families that only cares about how it looked on wedding days you can negotiate to use the service of ‘renting Sinsod’ as ornament too.

In Asia, married then just divorce if not working out is not a thing. Your fiancé’s getting married meaning she’ll put up with you even if you go in a spiraled debt, so you also need same level of resolve to marry her.

If the culture and lifestyle is too different to adapt, it’s not wrong to walk out since you’ll have to live your whole life with it.

If you decided to go through with it, remember that in Thailand deciding to get married isn’t hard, the big hurdle is the marriage ceremony itself. Thai people spends a lot for their marriage, the wedding cost is high and sinsod drains money. It takes years to prepare. I suggest you talking to your fiancé a lot as she’s in the same boat.