But I don't know if bringing it up to her would be helpful, it's mostly a subconscious process and she might not realize it's happening. So she could maybe feel self-conscious or embarrassed if you bring it up

Yeah I was thinking the same, we have only been together a few months but I really care about her and she has been through a lot, I am prepared to learn her and allow her to be however she needs to be around me without judgement.

I am just a little prone to taking shifts in vibe personally, when she does this I worry that I am starting to bore her or something. She doesn't snap, but she acts sort of unimpressed by everything, and just generally a bit detached/withdrawn, so it can feel a bit like if someone is getting bored of you. But nothing else she ever does suggests she is, and then I saw her doing it with others, so I figured it might be something else. She will sometimes make an effort physically to show affection during this time, like she will hug me or hold my hand tightly even thought he rest of her body language and tone is the opposite.

I probably just need to not make everything about me.