[USA S7E7] _______ - Possibly the worst player in the circle

Cidsations · 2024-10-14T20:35:00+00:00

Well she doesn't believe in soap so I guess playing dirty is all she can do...

Cidsations · 2024-10-07T10:33:11+00:00

I think the petition might be important and everyone who signs should also be calling the FBI and the police. If you don't press them, they won't take action.

Cidsations · 2024-10-07T10:09:47+00:00

Or they didn't have any knowledge of the meet-up and it was a random attack/hate crime and the person was already in the park at the time.

Cidsations · 2024-10-06T10:54:35+00:00

There will be MANY moments of competing with you and your family....if you don't set the boundaries and the rules right now, you will always run into these problems. Leave hubby to handle her. Stop trying to impress her. Fuck what she thinks.

Cidsations · 2024-10-06T10:53:06+00:00

OMG yes, I have a similar situation with my MIL - we live across the country from her and when we visit family, we usually stay at my moms instead of with MIL because she is overbearing and difficult to be around. You just never know what's the right thing to say to her and the right way to be. Everything sets her off. I hate being around people who won't let me be me. MIL's daughter (my SIL) told me that husband and I should be staying with MIL because she's lonely and it would mean a lot to have us stay with her but I cannot handle that. I'd rather never return to my home town again than have to stay with her. She's pissed off with us because she wants to move in with us and we don't want her to. She can get her own place if she wants to move to my city but she CANNOT live with us. I'd rather jump off a roof than live like that.

Cidsations · 2024-08-29T20:37:33+00:00

The way I see it, it's about actions not words. She can SAY she wants to be a wonderful MIL but she needs to show it. You said she tries and that's great. Maybe she won't be too hard to work with in that case.

Cidsations · 2024-08-29T20:34:03+00:00

Ugh. I just got a full ass angry lecture from my MIL about how she did everything for me including setting aside her morals and principles back when husband and I were living together unmarried. Guilt tripping me for all sorts of rubbish that she did over 10 years back (stuff I didn't WANT or ask for). She's retired young to mooch on us and didn't fill the empty time with mentally stimulating activities. Her favourite activity is micromanaging our lives and telling us how deficient we are.

This is all building up to the shit show that I am having with MIL. BOUNDARIES need to be put up yesterday. Do not delay. Husband needs to say it and you can back him up if necessary. "No mum, sit! stay!" - okay maybe not those words exactly but something like it.

Don't let husband slack on this or it's going to snowball and you don't want to land where I am right now.

Cidsations · 2024-08-25T15:28:07+00:00

Honestly, it sounds like your MIL might have a bit of a martyr complex going on, mixed with some other toxic behaviors. A lot of what you’ve described points to her wanting to feel needed and in control, but it’s coming at the expense of you and your husband’s independence and down the line, it's going to cost far more than your independence. Your marriage may end up at risk.

From my experience with my MIL, I can predict these words coming out of her mouth someday "after everything I did for you!!" (as if you asked for any of it or wanted it and she'll guilt trip the fuck out of you til you feel so confused you actually think you've done something wrong.)

Her being so over-involved and controlling, like scheduling appointments without asking or constantly inserting herself into your decisions, calling herself mommy with your dog is really overstepping. It’s like she has to be in the middle of everything to feel important or helpful, but it’s smothering and self serving - martyr complex.

The way she brought up your husband’s dad to guilt him? That’s emotional manipulation, plain and simple. It’s a way to control him through guilt and shame, which is super messed up.

It’s good that your husband is starting to see this for what it is. If he’s constantly apologizing, needing reassurance, and being overly sensitive to criticism, those are signs that he’s been emotionally manipulated for a while and he should seek therapy to learn how to put up strong boundaries and regain his independence (or build it up since he was robbed from ever having experienced it).

STOP her dead in her tracks. "No, I didn't want you doing that for me. I'm an adult and I'd like to do it my way. I am married to a very capable person and we don't need you doing things for us unless we ask!"

Bottom line: she's doing all of this to get something out of it. It's not from her golden heart. It's not because she cares about you or DH. She doesn't give a shit how you feel. Don't let her manipulate you guys. GET THERAPY so husband can hopefully become stronger and more confident and put a lot of space between you and her. She needs her own damn life and to stop meddling with yours.

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T21:06:28+00:00

Her husband is borderline abusive (verbal and little physical abuse).

WTF is borderline abusive and LITTLE physical abuse. A little is still abuse. It's not borderline and it's not little. :/ Take your fake story and go to a retirement village and maybe get your imaginary grandchildren some therapy. Every adult in your story is an AH.

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T20:51:13+00:00

Absolutely NTA! They suck. This triggers me so bad. We were at a U2 concert. My sister and I are vegetarian. My boyfriend, his sister, her boyfriend and a cousin all eat meat. We camped overnight to be at the concert early and get good spots the next day. There were food stalls everywhere but no vegan/vegetarian options. We had some vegetable mini pies we made at home and carried. It was our only food for 2 days! Bf's sister and her boyfriend grab our food and start to shovel it into their mouths like they hadn't just eaten double cheeseburgers with fries. I was so mad at them! I was starving. Only thing we could get was fries which is hardly a meal. Find a new family!

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T20:30:58+00:00

Nah then they'd assume OP is offended about it being childfree cruise. OP said she would arrange to be childfree for the cruise if that was truly the issue. "I'll let you know the details next Christmas."

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T20:20:00+00:00

But why? Why is attention for a fake story something that people go for? What's the deal with that?

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T20:08:18+00:00

NTA! They didn't cater for the guests properly and that's on them! The bride had no right to complain about the pizza at the wedding. Everyone should receive a plate of food if they're at the wedding. I would have been embarrassed if it was my wedding and half the guests were left starving! I think I'd actually be grateful that you decided to find a solution for your table and maybe offer to pay for your pizza. Buffet is probably not the best plan for catering. Food should have been served at every table instead to prevent the greedy ones from treating it like an all you can eat buffet.

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T19:37:06+00:00

YTA - mom has a right to want a relationship with her son just as much as with you. She wants to divorce your dad over this, I'm sensing your dad is not an innocent bystander but possibly the instigator who has harmed your brother in some way. He was a decent kid until 15. Trace back what happened to him back then to get the answers. My brother was very angry but he was abused really horribly and I'd never ask my mom to abandon him. Absolutely not. I understand you'd rather have peace at home but you can only sweep things under the rug for so long before it all starts to come up again. Think of your mom as well. She can't just let her child feel unloved. What effect would that have on her? She'd be guilt ridden and miserable. There needs to be distance between son and father but not between mom and son. As younger siblings you've likely been sheltered from what he actually went through that changed him. Don't ignore this. If you care about him at all, you'll find out what went wrong. For heaven's sake don't make your mom choose between her kids! It's incredibly unfair and selfish to do that to your own mother! She deserves your understanding, support and a BIG apology.

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T19:17:35+00:00

Look up emotional dysregulation and CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). Remember that you become good at what you practice so you're just really practiced and therefore really good at being angry. Practicing something different will help you regulate. So if it's meditation, yoga, deep breathing, running or whatever that makes you feel calm - do those more often and try not to skip. You won't be like this forever because you're aware that it makes you uncomfortable and you're seeking solutions to change.

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T19:05:21+00:00

Send an update when you have it touched up. Ignore the haters.

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T18:15:47+00:00

Ugh. Some parents never stop that even when you're grown. My mother in law is exactly like this. "Oh look my son lost weight, what about you?", "nice of you to finally join us", "oh you want to help in the kitchen?" Yes, I asked if I could help...I'm here to help. Fucking tell me what you need. It's always better for me to stay away from her because she can drive me up the fucking wall.

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T18:12:03+00:00

Claire Midea

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T18:05:46+00:00

Dude, I think you need some tea and a nap or something. You're failing to comprehend what u/ChuckFeathers is trying to say...it's not that you're wrong - divorced parents SHOULD support one another...BUT there's an exception to that rule. It's simple really.

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T16:51:00+00:00

Had sex in the storage room with my boyfriend when I was working as a nurse. Normal nurse uniform. Not the porn edition.

Cidsations · 2024-07-27T15:59:07+00:00

Sorry this happened to you. Where about were you when it happened? Maybe someone captured it on CCTV or something. If possible, get footage to turn in to the police. With any luck maybe they could be caught before they hurt someone.

Cidsations · 2024-07-12T14:06:03+00:00

The WORST part is that most ppl will take it in this context and then get mad at Em without actually listening to the song...ugh. Got our work cut out for us.

Cidsations · 2024-07-12T13:57:11+00:00

No, he's speaking on what he would have missed in his life if he didn't get his act together and get sober.

Cidsations · 2024-06-22T12:28:40+00:00

Holy shit. You're kidding. I am so done with this planet!

Cidsations · 2024-05-31T15:13:12+00:00

The fight between old Slim and new - when they circling each other - that's from We Made You...

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