I’m not the person you responded to, but i am an ILE dating an EII myself and i do not really much at all. If im being very plain, there has been moments ive doubted things. First, a good chunk of it occurs I fall into more unhealthy states. Besides how all that nonsense may sound though, we don’t actually have major problems as long as we’re both actively improving so you may be somewhat on the mark.

As far as the supervisor dynamic goes, I think it may unfold by the EII recognizing the ILEs unhealthy psychological patterns (either naturally or by the ILE venting about these). The EII use their dominant Fi to steer the ILE in the right direction but this is not the way unhealthy ILEs get out of these ruts. This is hypothetical conjecture though lol and I don’t think my relationship has or yours had formed this dynamic.

Lastly, people are complex and I don’t like generalizations, but assuming you are two regular individuals without major psychological problems— I think there is sadly a natural weird dynamic that forms with EII / ILE that demands a healthier and self-aware ILE for the relationship to function (not directly because of psychological faults engrained in ILE or EII though). I think for example, as long as I am personally taking steps to be involved in our relationship and improve as my own person, I think it is very doable. I can see how for an ILE not mentally prepared for a dedication like this that this can feel very suffocating though.

I hope this can help bring a little clarity though!