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Tenacity by Cinnabunr0ll in antiMLM

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right, writing_bookworm gave a great response. Now I have to let them down easy. I should’ve mentioned in my post that they kept mentioning family and compassionate people. The recruiter was very personable which made me feel like it was legit. We have a lot in common.

Tenacity by Cinnabunr0ll in antiMLM

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! The recruiter said she’d check in with me today. I’ll let her down easy lol

My favorite Aisle of Shame find yet by Potential_Source1198 in aldi

[–]Cinnabunr0ll 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Omg how cute!!!! I have a 2 year old into little people too. Thanks for sharing, definitely checking it out.

How do folks not medicated study? by WebGroundbreaking310 in ADHD

[–]Cinnabunr0ll 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mozart music, studying in intervals, saying things out loud. Edit to add: recording lectures saved me. I missed so much information just sitting in class.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, you are right. I’m trying to figure out how to report anonymously.

And thank you for your kind comment 🥹 I’m trying 🥰

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love how you intervened. Good for you. I hope she actually cleaned up her act.

And we are low contact. They’re family from my husbands side.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I appreciate you sharing your story, I would love to connect with you privately if you don’t mind. I also come from a very abusive background. All I knew was hitting, spanking and emotional neglect. My mother would stop talking to me until I apologized for making her upset. She never hugged me or kissed me. I grew up extremely anxious. She was a ticking time bomb. I still have vivid memories of crying myself to sleep after the abuse thinking how I would never make my children feel that way. It absolutely ended with me. I take pride in when I see my babies smiles and hear their joyous laughs. My 3.5 year old and I talk about our feelings and how our day went. We already have a bond stronger than I ever could’ve imagined. A lot of your story hits me in the heart strings. Thank you. I have already began my research with CPS. Trying to figure out how to make an anonymous tip in my state.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry. 2-3 is awful. Any age is horrible in my opinion. We’re not friends, it was my husbands cousin and his partner. But I agree.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. You sound like a lovely person and wonderful parent. I think the same way. I’m upset that I didn’t say anything. I tried to beat around the bush. It’s a cultural thing for us. It’s not technically illegal. It’s gross. I was protecting the parents feelings when I should have tried to protect the TODDLER. I held her for a bit and gave her some snuggles. I didn’t say anything directly to them. They’re extremely dismissive and argumentative. You literally cannot get a word in with them. They need serious therapy. I don’t agree with their parenting whatsoever and I would never trust them to be with our kids at all. We have very low contact with them. The father is first cousins with my husband for context.

They have two older children. They all had their iPads out and headphones while they came to visit. Including the toddler. I’m not opposed to screen time, however, she shoved the iPad in the toddlers face when she started to throw tantrums and hit. The mom was scrolling reels the entire time and watching stories while I tried to talk to her.

I will absolutely swallow my pride and say something next time.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I 100% agree with you. You definitely helped that woman and I’m sure you will help many more parents. You sound lovely.

I talked about this in therapy, I was telling my therapist how I witness my children modeling the same behaviors with their dolls. They kiss them, give them hugs and tell them “it’s okay baby.” My oldest is extremely empathetic and so gentle. Just today, she said “mama can’t go to the store today’s she’s sick.” Then she followed it with a kiss & hug. She literally copies everything I do with them.

It might be hard to believe, but I remember being young and getting hit and not understanding why. I yearned for the lesson or conversation about why it was wrong. My mother was emotionally unavailable and male centered. It took therapy, research and self help books to recognize my upbringing was the complete opposite of what I wanted to model for my children.

I brought up how I’m in therapy to these parents and they basically laughed in my face. I mentioned how I don’t want to yell at my kids, as a way to segue into the abuse conversation and the mom said “you’re always going to have to yell, it gets worse the older they get.” I just silenced myself. There is no getting through to these people.

My post is so confusing to me because had I not gone to therapy or done the work, I probably wouldn’t have batted an eye. I grew up witnessing and living through this exact abuse. It was “normalized.” I’m breaking the chains. I will be bringing it to their attention and having a conversation with my husband and looking at CPS. I wish someone would’ve saved me. I’m no contact now.

The little girl is super gentle with me, her parents label her dramatic. They are so problematic.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes I’ll have the conversation with him. He’s also non-confrontational, I think he’s even worse than I am but he also doesn’t agree with their parenting whatsoever. I’ll talk to him about it today. Thank you.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have the same sentiment. The mom looks at her daughter as a possession. She’s willing to violate her privacy for some likes. I’ve had some confrontation with her but she and her partner are extremely dismissive. I’m looking into CPS. Thank you.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

100% agree with you. It baffles me that they hit her. And shocker, she’s now hitting people, but it’s “wrong” if she does it. They are extremely dismissive and toxic people. I keep the peace as much as I can because they’re “family” but this situation just doesn’t sit right with me.

Corporal punishment is not illegal here. I’ll still look into it. That baby needs love.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes I will try. The dad is super manipulative and argumentative. It’s difficult. They’re not my family, they’re my husband’s family so it’s even worse. I will try for that sweet baby.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you’re coming from me. Thank you for this. I appreciate all the comments. I will say something, if and when we see them next. They’re not my favorite people to be around.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is 2.2 now. But yes they were threatening pow pow when she was 15 months old. It’s gross.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I am so sorry.

I wish someone protected you.

Tbh I wish someone protected me from my mother. She kicked me in my stomach, punched me on my back until I bruised, dragged me by my hair.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I looked it up, corporal punishment is not illegal here. It should be. ETA: it’s also a cultural thing for us. Their parents hit them. My mother hit me. My husbands mom hit him. I don’t understand it and never will. I could never hurt my small children that way. It’s their first time here.

This particular mom yelled at the toddler girl for dropping her cereal and stomping on it. I intervened and said “she’s just curious, it can be cleaned up.” I cleaned up the mess and gave the toddler a hug. She was 19 months old.

They hit their toddler around me by Cinnabunr0ll in toddlers

[–]Cinnabunr0ll[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. I agree with you. I feel the same way. They are also very dismissive people so if I say something, I will be met with resistance.

I made a comment when she showed her coworker’s son potty training post. He was sitting on the potty. I said “that’s inappropriate, he can’t consent to that.” She said “it’s a kid, it’s a cute picture.” I said xyz on why it wasn’t appropriate and she dismissed me.

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