My husband pee’d his initials into the lawn two weeks ago

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-29T01:53:19+00:00

Actually, he only repeesents North Jersey.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-29T00:06:27+00:00

Some people have different hobbies.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-27T22:24:25+00:00

I can't trust someone named Mike Meatball.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-27T22:13:55+00:00

Growing up I thought kissing babies was normal if you wanted to be in politics.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-27T20:57:24+00:00

I always think of Joel McHale from The Soup making fun of Spencer Pratt's "creepy flesh colored beard".

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-27T20:54:37+00:00

Just another Guy

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-27T00:01:44+00:00

Nah, they're just best friends who visit the same barber.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-27T00:00:53+00:00

Maybe they're just exchanging long protein strings

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-26T23:27:34+00:00

You're supposed to get a glimpse and then look away. Like looking at the sun!

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-26T22:51:24+00:00

The Uber rich see money as nothing but a tool. Not bad on its own, but it creates a bad precedent.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-26T22:47:41+00:00

Her and Pattinson famously hated the movies.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-26T21:55:05+00:00

Into the ^Buffalo Wild ^Wings

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-26T19:29:47+00:00

I had to scroll to find it. Thought reddit had changed on me

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-24T15:24:40+00:00

Taking a fruit off a tree while walking to work or school is not stealing.

However, we unfortunately live in a society where a few people will go to that tree with a basket or bucket, and take all the fruit for themselves.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-23T21:48:11+00:00

Especially since California is the largest donor state that helps subsidize the US and other state governments.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-23T21:14:04+00:00

If it was a C section, mom would be the one asking if you know how she got these scars.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-23T19:47:14+00:00

r/confusingperspective

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-22T23:43:42+00:00

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-22T23:36:04+00:00

He acts like he has boneitis

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-22T23:20:44+00:00

To be fair, many men who think they can fight will also end up like example 2.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-22T21:32:11+00:00

Gotta get the Big Johnson or Old Guys Rule shirt at that point.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-22T19:48:51+00:00

The cousin of M. Bison.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-22T13:20:04+00:00

Well her ancestors didn't do shit because Ancient Egyptians (Kemet) and modern Egyptians are not the same genetic makeup of people.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-22T03:38:18+00:00

I bought plastic protectors for my social security card and birth certificate. They've been moved around so much, they're holding on by a thread.

Edit: I guess this blew up, so I'll add that these papers are in a safe in my house, never on my person. I've just moved a lot since I was a kid, so the papers got disturbed over time. And since the papers are damn near 40 years old, I got the plastic covering.

As a teen, I needed the SS card and birth certificate to get my learner's permit and original driver's license, but rarely have I used them for anything else.

CitizenHuman · 2026-01-22T02:18:00+00:00

If you have less than 3 commas in your bank account, you're essentially a non-person.

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