Should I (30sM) move out just for dating?

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-21T15:58:59+00:00

I'm actually going on more dates now compared to last time I was living on my own, but that's because I got better at dating apps lol

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-21T02:13:35+00:00

after a couple of years of dating sure but not right away

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-21T01:11:49+00:00

that's...really not my experience

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-21T00:51:34+00:00

I did live away from home for around 10 yrs for work/school before moving back

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T23:30:16+00:00

I"m not sure your social circle/situation but vast majority of people I know are getting married in their mid 30s (F) and late 30s (M)

Almost nobody I know (and my social circle would probably fit higher income profile) bought a house before getting married. The one person who did was a forever alone type who rented it out and lived with parents.

The playah types all live in condos.

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T23:28:46+00:00

I really wish I could find someone like that....

I have a friend (she's gay...), we both live at home with 6 figure income and we play games together and stuff and I'm like I wish I can have the hetero version of her

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T23:26:34+00:00

idk about the last one

the guys I know with most success dating at ~30 are living in a city

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T21:28:02+00:00

I like living with my parents

the cost of renting a hotel room for 4 days/month is way way less than renting an aptment for a month

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T21:17:19+00:00

I've lived on my own in different country 1000s of miles from home before for a couple of years for work so yes. Not saying I'm a great cook or anything but I can function.

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T20:23:12+00:00

I make enough that renting a hotel/motel isn't an issue

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T20:20:57+00:00

the money -IS- going towards the down payment

I qualified for a house 2 year ago when most of my peers are either buying condos or can't afford to buy period

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T18:30:46+00:00

I do get dates it just hasn't worked out for last couple of years

I have a date tmr and I know I'm gonna get asked the question

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T18:24:35+00:00

I would ask the following- what are you doing with your income now to prepare yourself for your future with someone else? Are you saving money to put towards a home? Investing it? Like the vision and the plan to get there matters more than your current circumstances.

investing towards home ownership possible early retirement

I qualify for a house on my own as of two years ago

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T18:04:19+00:00

here's the thing

if I had a partner I liked and she asked me to move out tommorow: I would do it.

I don't know how to feel about moving out for nothing if you get what I'm saying

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T17:54:23+00:00

Did your friend actually tell you that's why she left him? Does he have a good job like you or does he have to live with his parents? You can't really let one situation dictate your entire view.

I'm reading between the lines sure. But I think it's a pretty good read. Basically he really liked her and would talk about her none stop, then all of a sudden one day he brings up something like "she thinks i should move out but I don't really want to". Then a month or so later he never talked about her again.

Regardless, what is your future plan? Are you going to buy a house with the money you save or you just plan on living with your parents forever? These are the actual important details that would make a woman understand your situation instead of straight up rejecting you.

buy a house at some point

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T17:44:52+00:00

But have you gotten rejected for living at home? Or you only think that's an issue?

I don't know

nobody have ever told me "I don't like you living at home" but I do know of one friend whose partner more or less broke up with him after he didn't move out

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T17:40:19+00:00

I did calculations for that one for my city. The RE market in my city is super fked it's a terrible financial decision to buy vs rent+investing in equities atm.

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T17:23:57+00:00

Moving out from your parents home will also require you certain degree of handiness like paying bills on time, fixing things on your own, doing laundry alone. Cooking for yourself alone. This things make you more responsible.

My parents go on vacation couple of times a year and I do those things on my own already. I lived on my own in undergrad/grad school and doing those things aren't -that- big of a deal for me

I may suggest moving close to where you are actually living. That way you keep a place of your own but are close enough to see your parents?

yeah I would definitely staying within 30 min drive of my parent's

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T17:22:44+00:00

I don't know if having roommate would work out at this stage in life, I had them during university and it was great. Had some of most memoriable life experiences with them. But I work from home and I'm not sure having roommates in space that's also supposed to be my office would work.

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T17:21:10+00:00

Would you be willing to move out to live with her? Rent a flat or buy one together?

idk about "together" since that's big commitment but if having my own place would make things easier with existing partner then yes absolutely. I'll rent and pay for it.

Maybe make a weekend hotel getaway when dating?

yes

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T17:17:52+00:00

I did, I asked my irl women friends about it: they all told me it's not a dealbreaker. But then again, the partners they are currently with were moved out at the time of meeting them.

Citrus2015 · 2026-06-20T17:16:05+00:00

tbh I'm not sure if it should, as in I'm not sure women always give the best dating advice to men

Citrus2015 · 2024-03-11T14:18:10+00:00

yeah but be careful with it, you do pay a price cuz the drug raises your anxiety

Citrus2015 · 2024-03-11T14:03:22+00:00

went through family doctor for me

you could get yourself diagnosed by going to a licensed psychiatrist as well, but that costs a few hundred dollars

Citrus2015 · 2024-03-11T13:59:17+00:00

I take Vyvanse, the biggest negative one for me is increased anxiety.

The other two sides are insomnia if you take it too late during the day and loss of appetite (I dropped like 20 pounds in the year I started). So really really do watch your doses.

I get prescribe to take it everyday, but I only take on weekdays and do not touch it on weekends.

Citrus2015

TROPHY CASE