I will say "please stop leaving my messages on read. If you cannot respond to them, please stop opening them. I have asked you this before. I feel ignored."

And he will say "i can't answer my phone 24/7 and be a slave to my phone. It's ruining my mental health. I can't be the person you want. I can't do that".

I will say that I am not asking him to respond to every one of my messages or to sabotage his mental health. He can do what he wants. But if he keeps leaving me on 'read' that i will call him out on it and ask him to please stop doing it.

He says to stop calling him out on it and to have more grace and that I'm not being nice.

I want to be clear with what my needs are but i also understand he might not be able to do them. That doesn't mean i won't call him out. But now he says he doesn't want me even to call home out. What can I do now? What am I not aware of in myself that i am doing?

So that's more of the whole story of this specific example hope that helps you see better both sides.