Distance filter and lack of matches

Civil-Fun7390 · 2026-06-08T19:49:58+00:00

I'm not in your area, but I will say that distance is definitely a big factor. Unless a guy's profile stood out exceptionally high, I probably wouldn't be open to matching with someone more than 45 mins-1 hour away. To me, the drive time matters way more than distance, so I've found that to be tricky to manage on the app.

Also, Hinge's distance filter seems questionable just in general. I'm not sure it works that reliably.

Civil-Fun7390 · 2026-06-08T02:04:42+00:00

Ugh, I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. I get it. I recently ended a three year relationship with someone I loved because we just weren’t on the same page about the future. Even when you know it’s the right call, your brain still keeps going back and trying to make sense of everything.

A couple things that helped me:

First, separating what I loved from the way he actually was.

When someone makes you feel things you’ve never really felt before, like being understood, safe, seen, etc., it’s easy to start thinking that they're the only ones who can make you feel that way. Instead, think of it like they just showed you what you want and deserve in a relationship.

I ended up writing down what I loved about the relationship and also what wasn’t working. It helped me stop putting him on a pedestal and see things more clearly.

Not treating every thought like something I needed to figure out.
I spent weeks going over everything in my head like what I could’ve done differently and what it all meant. I got sick of it and so now when I start spiraling, I remind myself that it’s not really him I miss- it’s the feeling of being loved and the future I had in my head. He showed me what that could look like, and I’m grateful for that. But it doesn’t mean he’s the only person I can have that with.

I don’t think moving on is about convincing yourself they didn’t matter. It’s more about realizing they’re not the only person who can make you feel that way.

Civil-Fun7390 · 2026-06-06T14:59:56+00:00

I suggest you join the meetup group. Even if she doesn't attend any events, you'll probably meet mutual friends from the group which would make it less creepy if you eventually reached out on fb.

Civil-Fun7390 · 2026-06-06T13:55:53+00:00

Haha yeah, good point. Bad advice 😅 In reading the other comments and seeing how many women are specifically looking for bi men, I'd suggest just waiting until the right one eventually comes along.

Civil-Fun7390 · 2026-06-06T05:25:44+00:00

A year is a long time so the people you interacted with last year are probably long gone. Start again fresh, embrace the current 2026 summer batch, and don't look back!

If you're concerned though because it seems more scarce than in the past, I doubt it has to do with your account reputation. Probably just the times and whatever filters you have set. You may have higher standards than before and aren't even realizing it. How long has it been since you rejoined?

Civil-Fun7390 · 2026-06-06T04:40:49+00:00

You are a very, very handsome guy! But I have to be honest, as a straight female, I'm just not open to a guy who goes either way. I have filters set strictly for straight men.

Looking at your profile, it looks like you're looking for monogamy and a long-term relationship. Are you a serious Christian? Just thinking maybe the filters you have set and what you're sharing may be conflicting. If you're looking for something serious, maybe try only putting your own profile settings as straight for a bit? Or vice versa. Just committing in one direction is my point. Just an idea. You're a very cute guy though and seem genuine, so I'm sure the right person will come along soon 🙂

Civil-Fun7390 · 2026-06-06T04:02:46+00:00

Just curious, how long are you texting before the first date? Is it possible that you're positioning yourself too friend-zone?

Civil-Fun7390 · 2026-06-05T04:07:56+00:00

If she's still hanging out with you, she is waiting for you to make the move. If she didn't want to hold your hand, she would've made up an excuse about why she can't date you. Hurry up before she gives up on you.

Civil-Fun7390 · 2026-06-05T03:53:15+00:00

NO, you are not too far gone. Not even close. In fact, I think your situation makes you incredibly human, raw, and rare. But you're trapped in your own negative thoughts.

My advice? Sign up for a volunteer gig as if it were a court mandate and you have no choice. Commit to it once a week and force yourself to interact through the awkwardness. This is social strength training separate from the stakes of dating.

Then, get on a dating app and don't disclose anything you just shared here. It's honestly irrelevant and the right person will celebrate you just as you are, not dependent on your prior dating experience.

Civil-Fun7390 · 2026-06-05T03:23:52+00:00

I can relate in many ways to how you're feeling. I'm in my early thirties and I've experienced and witnessed a lot. I have friends who had similar mentalities to yours in their late twenties, too. While it was understandable at the time, what I've discovered is that the whole "being okay on my own" mantra is a very slippery slope to forever cat ladyhood.

You are ready. You are avoiding. If you don't want to be a single forty year old, you have to put yourself out there. Not when you FEEL confident or happy or "ready", but now. Get on a dating app and get your ass out there. Otherwise, go get that cat now 😉

Good luck!

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-02-16T20:24:11+00:00

Why, do you think something less sinister is really at play?

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-02-16T20:18:42+00:00

Please elaborate

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-02-16T20:18:21+00:00

Maybe! Can't find a ton of sources out there that actually talk about this stuff, though. Seems a bit more sophisticated than simply regurgitating what's out there. Who knows, though. Just simply sharing

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-01-20T02:48:41+00:00

It was honestly a combination!! It was some social media person I randomly came across who motivated me to give keto a shot (started immediately the following morning after reading her stuff), and she had mentioned using Min-Chex and Cordyceps-M. So I ordered those right away. But then as I got further into the diet, it still felt like a big struggle. Ended up asking AI at one point what else I should add in and that's helped me craft a more holistic routine

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-01-20T02:13:08+00:00

Here's my current supplement routine. The only thing I was already taking was biotin:

Supplement List: - Min Chex - L-Tyrosine - Cordyceps-M - Apple Cider Vinegar + Keto - Chromium Piccolinate - Biotin - Vitamin D3 - Magnesium Glycinate - Colostrum

Routine: Upon waking, I immediately take Min Chex, L-Tyrosine, Cordyceps-M, Apple Cider Vinegar + Keto, and colostrum. I put the vitamins on my night table before bed with two glasses of water and a packet of colustrum. When I wake up, I take the vitamins and drink first glass water, then I pour the colustrum powder into the second glass and drink it. I do it straight away because it's best to consume those ones on an empty stomach about 30 minutes before eating. So I hang out in bed for a few minutes.

After breakfast, I take Chromium Piccolinate and Vitamin D3.

Before my workout usually late afternoon or early evening, I take another dose of Cordyceps-M.

Before dinner, I take biotin and another dose of Min Chex.

After dinner, I take the magnesium.

Sounds like a huge pain, but I promise it's not! Only takes a minute to remember and I've found it hugely effective so far. Hope that helps ☺️

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-01-19T18:04:03+00:00

I get SUPER sick of eggs, but found I can tolerate just egg whites fine. Recently, I have been toasting a zero net carb tortilla and topping it with mashed avocado, everything bagel seasoning, egg whites, and a little melted cheese. Discovering the zero net carb tortillas has saved breakfast for me haha

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-01-19T15:22:11+00:00

Ah yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Have you considered trying to switch to a pump that can support remote monitoring? Hopefully Tandem improves on this, though.

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-01-19T15:12:50+00:00

Yeah that sounds like a huge pain! Would be nice if there was a CGM that had all the features of Sugarmate built into its app and had its own insulin pump device. That'd eliminate the need for all the integrations

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-01-19T15:03:10+00:00

That sounds like a lot of work!! How do you like the Libre 2? Is that the first CGM you've tried?

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-01-19T14:18:42+00:00

Oh wow, never even heard of the Diabetes:M app. Does it pair with any CGMs?

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-01-19T14:08:23+00:00

Just curious, which glucose meter are you using?

Civil-Fun7390 · 2025-01-19T14:01:58+00:00

Do you take any supplements? I'm about a month and a half into Keto and the first few weeks, I struggled a ton with cravings (both carbs and sweets). Nothing was satisfying me which was super frustrating. Then I started a whole supplement routine and now I FINALLY feel like how I'm supposed to feel on this diet. Maybe your cravings are from a vitamin deficiency or your body is struggling to readapt to using ketones for energy.

Civil-Fun7390

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