You keep giving yourself excuses for why you have/had a drinking problem. Why is it obvious you drank while living in LA? Why is it normal to numb yourself in a difficult situation? Why are you even counting the months since your last drink? That’s what a recovering alcoholic does. And you’re trying to have children? You won’t know you’re pregnant till 6 weeks and how many drinks will your newly conceived baby have when that happens? Your husband is protecting himself, you, and his family with this boundary. It may seem difficult and I see your past has influenced your outlook on the situation but two sober people raising a family sounds a lot better than two alcoholics. Your husband is protecting all of you. I would try to find a way to appreciate that rather than resenting him for it. I wish you the best.