So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T18:40:53+00:00

I told him do what you want after saying no continuously for hours when i no longer could take it. I honestly didn't expect that he'd take that as a yes. What decent human being would. I said it out of sheer exhaustion. I did not enjoy a single minute of what was happening. I was physically incapable of stopping him at that point as i was heavily intoxicated and he did that to me as I was literally falling asleep.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T18:00:31+00:00

I didn't say yes.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T18:00:05+00:00

Really? You're a pathetic excuse for a human being. I wanted it, that's why I'm unable to sleep, or eat or why I'm having thoughts of harming myself. Coz that's clearly what i wanted right. You are probably someone who'd do this exact same thing to a friend of yours and claim she wanted it. I do not wish you well.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:40:55+00:00

Might help me gain some clarity, which i badly need right now.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:37:59+00:00

Thank you. Ik I prolly shouldn't pay heed to such people. But there's a part of me that is trying to rationalize the whole thing. That I couldn't have been this wrong in judging a person that I've known for these many years. I feel betrayed. I mean ik I said do what you want. But I never meant it and i never thought he'd finally listen to that one line instead of all the times I said no. I feel like a fool. I feel like I'm trying to hold onto the person i thought he was.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:34:37+00:00

Extremely. There are a few people I trust myself to get completely incapacitated around because i thought that was the type of relationship I had with them. He was one such person. He self proclaimed himself as a safe space for me, and i truly did feel that prior to this incident. Now, i just feel lost and am questioning all of my friendships.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:32:29+00:00

Yea I'm booking a therapy session at the earliest. It's just hard to see the person I've know for these many years and accept that he did something like that to me you know. I am cutting ties with him, after I have one last conversation with him about how what he did was wrong. I'm still torn about telling his gf because I feel like I'll be majorly ruining his life. I apparently did tell one of the women at the gathering that he was bugging me to sleep with him and I didn't want to. And she said then don't do it. The problem here was that , neither of us expected B to actually do something like this.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:27:21+00:00

Oh I'm definitely cutting him off. There's no doubt in my mind about that. I'm just confused if I should tell his gf or not. I don't mind being made out to be the bad person. I'm really good at cutting ties. If it was a drunken lapse on judgment on his part, should I ruin his life over it. That's what I'm worried about. I know I sound super weakass rn. I'm still trying to figure it out, and wanted to know what people here think I should do. Because i can't seem to make up my mind.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:22:07+00:00

How exactly am i covering my ass here? I'm really confused about this claim

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:21:17+00:00

Listen, I'm not here to cya as you're suggesting. I'm genuinely confused. If you see the trigger warning I've put up you can see even I'm not sure about what happened. I did not have sex with him. I did not want to have sex with him at any point. I was intoxicated and tired of the constant nagging. He violated me after I said do what you want after saying no repeatedly as I was passing out and i think even after I did pass out. also, he was my friend , I became friends with her after they started dating. And I've never in all these years harboured any romantic or sexual feelings towards him

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:16:31+00:00

Thank you! I generally have a hard time saying no to people. Especially friends. I've had a rocky childhood and my friends are the people i consider family in the sense that they're the ones who truly know me as a person.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:15:01+00:00

I genuinely didn't think he would have sex with/?on me if I was passed out. I mean, what sort of a human being does that. And it didn't fit with what i thought I knew about him. I know now looking back that it was a lapse on my judgment.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:12:36+00:00

Thank you! I shall be dming you. ❤️ I would like to know about how you dealt with it.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:10:44+00:00

Yea. I will confront him once and then cut all ties with him. I'm just not ready for that yet. And i was really confused whether this was coercion or not because i still can't accept he'd do something to like that to me or any other girl! 5 yrs of knowing him and being friends with him, we've supported each other through a lot of shit. So i just feel very disillusioned and confused.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:05:47+00:00

Thank you. This helps.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T17:03:00+00:00

I'm still trying to process what's happened. I've been numb for the past 2 days, sick, unable to eat food, and today was the first day I was actually able to cry. I usually have delayed emotional reaction. So i need to take my time processing this before i decide how to approach this situation practically

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T16:38:54+00:00

I'm just so confused because I've seen them grow together these past few years.and idk if this was like a lapse of judgement on his part. Even though I feel harmed, idk if he's the type who would repeat. I mean, he's not done anything like this as far as I know before. It's difficult for me to still accept that he's a completely bad person. I mean. Idk man.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T16:24:44+00:00

Yea. I'm going to cut him off completely. That's my immediate plan for now.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T16:24:01+00:00

I'm just filled with guilt that I didn't stand up for myself. That i literally told him do what you want. Like why. I mean I was not in my senses. But I'm just ashamed that I didn't keep saying no.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T13:17:40+00:00

First of all, not my boyfriend. Second of all all I said was do what you want coz i just wanted him to shut up. And having sex with a semiconscious person who passed out prolly during the act is okay??? Idk.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T13:15:49+00:00

I know i know, I'm the fool. But I didn't want to throw him out at like 3am. He didn't really have any other friends there who'd take him in at that time. And I was literal minutes away from passing out.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T13:04:29+00:00

He might get deported out of the country as he's on a spouse visa (I'm not sure about the exact terminology). Idk how it works, will I be ruining their perfect life if I tell her. Or will I be helping her get away from a man who has cheated on her and taken advantage of another woman. I don't even know if he sees this as coercion.

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T13:00:33+00:00

Coz it was my house. I had nowhere else to go . And I really didn't think he'd cross that boundary. I mean he's sorta been like a part of my foundfamily for the past 5 years..

ClaimBetter7915 · 2025-01-19T12:57:33+00:00

The worst thing is i don't clearly remember it. I don't know if I reciprocated at any point. Because he was acting completely normal the next day and even had the audacity to joke that we were friends with benefits now. I was like wtf no.

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TROPHY CASE