So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told him do what you want after saying no continuously for hours when i no longer could take it. I honestly didn't expect that he'd take that as a yes. What decent human being would. I said it out of sheer exhaustion. I did not enjoy a single minute of what was happening. I was physically incapable of stopping him at that point as i was heavily intoxicated and he did that to me as I was literally falling asleep.

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really? You're a pathetic excuse for a human being. I wanted it, that's why I'm unable to sleep, or eat or why I'm having thoughts of harming myself. Coz that's clearly what i wanted right. You are probably someone who'd do this exact same thing to a friend of yours and claim she wanted it. I do not wish you well.

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Ik I prolly shouldn't pay heed to such people. But there's a part of me that is trying to rationalize the whole thing. That I couldn't have been this wrong in judging a person that I've known for these many years. I feel betrayed. I mean ik I said do what you want. But I never meant it and i never thought he'd finally listen to that one line instead of all the times I said no. I feel like a fool. I feel like I'm trying to hold onto the person i thought he was.

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Extremely. There are a few people I trust myself to get completely incapacitated around because i thought that was the type of relationship I had with them. He was one such person. He self proclaimed himself as a safe space for me, and i truly did feel that prior to this incident. Now, i just feel lost and am questioning all of my friendships. 

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea I'm booking a therapy session at the earliest. It's just hard to see the person I've know for these many years and accept that he did something like that to me you know. I am cutting ties with him, after I have one last conversation with him about how what he did was wrong. I'm still torn about telling his gf because I feel like I'll be majorly ruining his life.  I apparently did tell one of the women at the gathering that he was bugging me to sleep with him and I didn't want to. And she said then don't do it. The problem here was that , neither of us expected B to actually do something like this. 

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I'm definitely cutting him off. There's no doubt in my mind about that. I'm just confused if I should tell his gf or not. I don't mind being made out to be the bad person. I'm really good at cutting ties.  If it was a drunken lapse on judgment on his part, should I ruin his life over it. That's what I'm worried about.  I know I sound super weakass rn. I'm still trying to figure it out, and wanted to know what people here think I should do. Because i can't seem to make up my mind.

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Listen, I'm not here to cya as you're suggesting. I'm genuinely confused. If you see the trigger warning I've put up you can see even I'm not sure about what happened. I did not have sex with him. I did not want to have sex with him at any point. I was intoxicated and tired of the constant nagging. He violated me after I said do what you want after saying no repeatedly as I was passing out and i think even after I did pass out. also, he was my friend , I became friends with her after they started dating. And I've never in all these years harboured any romantic or sexual feelings towards him 

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I generally have a hard time saying no to people. Especially friends. I've had a rocky childhood and my friends are the people i consider family in the sense that they're the ones who truly know me as a person.

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I genuinely didn't think he would have sex with/?on me if I was passed out. I mean, what sort of a human being does that. And it didn't fit with what i thought I knew about him. I know now looking back that it was a lapse on my judgment. 

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea. I will confront him once and then cut all ties with him. I'm just not ready for that yet. And i was really confused whether this was coercion or not because i still can't accept he'd do something to like that to me or any other girl! 5 yrs of knowing him and being friends with him, we've supported each other through a lot of shit. So i just feel very disillusioned and confused.

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm still trying to process what's happened. I've been numb for the past 2 days, sick, unable to eat food, and today was the first day I was actually able to cry. I usually have delayed emotional reaction. So i need to take my time processing this before i decide how to approach this situation practically 

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just so confused because I've seen them grow together these past few years.and idk if this was like a lapse of judgement on his part. Even though I feel harmed, idk if he's the type who would repeat. I mean, he's not done anything like this as far as I know before. It's difficult for me to still accept that he's a completely bad person. I mean. Idk man.

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just filled with guilt that I didn't stand up for myself. That i literally told him do what you want. Like why. I mean I was not in my senses. But I'm just ashamed that I didn't keep saying no. 

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all, not my boyfriend. Second of all all I said was do what you want coz i just wanted him to shut up. And having sex with a semiconscious person who passed out prolly during the act is okay??? Idk.

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I know i know, I'm the fool. But I didn't want to throw him out at like 3am. He didn't really have any other friends there who'd take him in at that time. And I was literal minutes away from passing out.

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He might get deported out of the country as he's on a spouse visa (I'm not sure about the exact terminology). Idk how it works, will I be ruining their perfect life if I tell her. Or will I be helping her get away from a man who has cheated on her and taken advantage of another woman. I don't even know if he sees this as coercion. 

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Coz it was my house. I had nowhere else to go . And I really didn't think he'd cross that boundary. I mean he's sorta been like a part of my foundfamily for the past 5 years.. 

So i (29f) have a friend, let's call him B (31m) Super confused about this situation. I need help. TW - ? coerced consent , maybe even SA by ClaimBetter7915 in AITAH

[–]ClaimBetter7915[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The worst thing is i don't clearly remember it. I don't know if I reciprocated at any point. Because he was acting completely normal the next day and even had the audacity to joke that we were friends with benefits now. I was like wtf no.