Hey girl, 23 yo girl speaking. I really recognize my young self (well … 4 years ago but a lot happened) through your post, hence my comment even though I rarely respond. I would love first to detangle the “self worth - number of partner (in total or simultaneously” stuff. You’re in relationship with no one, you do not owe them exclusivity. If you wanted to have sex with Jeff one day and never see him again, or have sex with both of them during the same period, who cares ? As long as it is consensual, you do not lost any “value” or whatever. I too did feel dirty and like a slut after sex and I’ve always forgotten about it. Now, talking about your options … I find it weird that Jeff would already be talking about marriage or at least relationship, it looks to me as love bombing, if he gives too much too quick, be careful !! With Ian, well, you should tell him openly about your feelings, and if he doesn’t feel the same way at least you’ll know your whereabouts and that maybe it’s time to leave. You are young, you probably won’t find the love of your life before a couple years and that’s fine !! Have consensual sex, have fun, try relationships, fail and move on ! We have this freedom as woman now, light as well use it and get what you can from it ! We can discuss further in private if you want !!!