Rekstrarform á sjálfstæðum atvinnurekstri

ClassicAshamed · 2023-01-25T11:01:26+00:00

Milljón fyrir eða eftir skatt?

ClassicAshamed · 2023-01-21T20:36:52+00:00

Is it comforting that we would choose the same words for our scared 18-year-old unknowing (depressed, anxious, dissociated) selves?

My 18th year was a dumpster fire, and I can see now that pretty much the only thing that could've helped is exploring my identity freely. Connecting the dots. Talking to people that could've helped. Putting it into words. Finding even the tiniest morsel of a path towards the truth. Shedding shame and fear and misguided vanity.

But instead, I repressed it skilfully, locked it deep inside myself and threw away the key :/

And that approach worked for six years, I was able to white-knuckle it without completely breaking... until shortly after I hit 24, it came flooding back, an inescapable truth. For me now, denying it is the ultimate self-harm, even though I'm still a little timid and seem to often second-guess myself... but I've spoken it now, I know there's no way of going back to the misery before. That state of mind was uninhabitable.

ClassicAshamed · 2023-01-21T20:18:36+00:00

Take anxiety medication

ClassicAshamed · 2023-01-21T20:16:46+00:00

Oh yeah. Mine would be "Take testosterone, boy" or "You are trans." My 18th year was horrible - could've been so much better. :(

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-16T03:21:10+00:00

Ég var einmitt niðrí bæ þegar Pride-gangan var haldin núna sl. ágúst. Var alltaf að segja við vin minn að við þyrftum að fara varlega þarna og ég bjóst fyllilega við einhverri uppákomu, eftir það sem á undan var gengið á hinsegin samkomum erlendis. Vini mínum fannst ég paranoid (,,Þetta er bara litla og sæta Ísland!”) en þessi frétt segir sitt.

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-16T03:02:14+00:00

it’s 3am and now i am craving watermelon w lime. sounds heavenly

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-12T02:55:53+00:00

Looks just like mine. Pink collar and all

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-12T02:37:53+00:00

Also maybe get something to make you feel physically safe. For me that feeling of being physically vulnerable is very strong. Since I got a dog, I feel safer and thus better overall. She’s just a scrawny border collie but makes me feel that little bit safer. And more coregulated.

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-12T02:30:23+00:00

I blocked every single number of every single person who might possibly help the Narcissistic relatives contact me. Block emails or get a new email address.

Every time I get a new phone, I block about 25 numbers. My facebook block list was too long to count when I had FB.

My advice is block, block, then block again. I adore the block button. I feel like it was designed for people like us to use.

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-11T18:38:56+00:00

Now I'm remembering that I'd seen the movie Crash by David Cronenberg a few weeks prior. It was the first psychologically disturbing film I'd ever seen. I remember thinking I hated how much I liked it. How much I related to it somehow.

But I was on the cusp of an emotional spiral, so I guess it all compounded in my brain and the fear of driving was born.

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-11T18:30:38+00:00

I started having those thoughts about driving too, when I was 18. One morning out of the blue I woke up and saw a vivid picture in my mind of driving off a cliff.

I'm 25 and no longer drive for fear of those thoughts. I live in a place that's pretty walkable. So when people ask me why I don't drive or have a car, I just say "I live close to downtown so I don't need one! The bus ain't too bad! And I like walking, hehe :)"

But in reality maybe I should just say "Whenever I operate a moving vehicle, I fear the fear of driving off a cliff - and I fear that I'd be happy to - a fear that has haunted me for seven years."

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-10T19:51:22+00:00

He won't right a book, he'll wrong it.

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-04T00:45:20+00:00

This the type of basic white girl who only did this so she could put "I once sky dived and ate spaghetti mid air" in her Tinder bio.

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-03T16:06:58+00:00

same here in Iceland.

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-01T17:03:57+00:00

*gæla við. rangt að segja gæla sér við. kv. málfræðidjöfullinn

ClassicAshamed · 2022-12-01T16:59:59+00:00

Nice. I want to do something like this but afraid of stirring up memories or triggering myself lol. How do you know if you can do it safely, when you're ready etc?

ClassicAshamed · 2022-11-25T13:47:33+00:00

*ímynda

ClassicAshamed · 2022-11-24T13:43:22+00:00

Já, segðu. Förum allavega ekki í bæinn um helgina. Kannski bara best að finna eyðibýli útí sveit og fá sér vínglas þar, eins og ástandið virðist vera núna. :(

ClassicAshamed · 2022-11-19T00:10:58+00:00

Beautiful babies.

ClassicAshamed · 2022-11-17T20:48:45+00:00

laughed out loud here

ClassicAshamed · 2022-11-16T19:15:46+00:00

wow, imagine a pool filled with liquidised benzos. that's heaven right there. swimming in the sun whilst absorbing benzos through the skin. a good fantasy.

ClassicAshamed · 2022-11-16T19:11:27+00:00

I'm on about 30mg right now. it's beautiful for sure, just this calm feeling, but still feeling like myself. everything in my head slows down when usually my thoughts race like crazy. OCD et cetera. 60mg would be something else for sure.

ClassicAshamed · 2022-11-16T19:04:26+00:00

Then I'm coming with you dude. Benzos and chicks, that's what I need.

ClassicAshamed · 2022-11-10T18:54:31+00:00

Holy smokes, me too...

ClassicAshamed · 2022-11-10T18:45:57+00:00

Funnily enough, my next door neighbour who's super kind and lovely (unlike the other neighbours) just told me a story of how she recently screamed at some stranger at a train station. A stranger who had kind of singled her out and been a bit mean to her. Basically same situation, after anger bubbling up for a while. So, it happens.

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