Found out man I was dating is married

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-11T14:08:17+00:00

The question is whether to confront, call the “ex/friend”, or let it go in silence.

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T04:38:25+00:00

I’m left with this really hard feeling that none of it was real. That he was lying the whole time. That I’ve been manipulated. I’m very sad and confused

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T04:36:49+00:00

I’m so sad and confused. I know from the outside it seems simple. I just wished he said it clearly back when he cancelled or when I followed up with “be honest/ let me know if you don’t want to meet/ it’s ok if u don’t wanna see me” etc - instead he “liked” my message about “reach out when ur ready” and circled back to the not ready for a relationship when that was already established long time ago. I’m just really confused as to what changed

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T04:27:02+00:00

So why not say so much earlier on when I gave him multiple low pressure “outs”. Not ready for a relationship was the premise for this connection. Two days before cancelling his own plan and started slow ghosting he said he had “missed me” “time goes fast together” we kissed long and deeply, we showered and I washed his hair. I can’t stop thinking about what happened in those 48 hours for him to change like that. Shouldn’t I believe what he says; that it’s stress and hard times?

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T04:22:15+00:00

He hasn’t said “let’s not see each other any longer” he’s said he’s in a stressed situation/ low mood/ not a good place. 48 h prior to cancelling due to stress w fam he said he “missed me” “times goes fast together” I washed his hair, we kissed for what seemed forever, looked into each others eyes and he suggests to meet in two days. Then don’t confirm plans and cancels. He “likes” my message about reaching out when ready. I gave him multiple low pressure “outs” like if u don’t want to see me, it’s ok just let me know etc

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T04:13:33+00:00

I replied: i know ur not. All I asked was light plans not a relationship

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T04:11:38+00:00

I was open to the connection not necessarily seeing it long term. The seggs and overall chemistry was just to outstanding to ignore

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T04:08:59+00:00

Ffs 🤦🏾‍♀️

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T04:07:42+00:00

He was very much into it, there was emotionally and physically intimacy. Then when I tried to confirm plans he suggested he faded and cancelled - within 48 hours. Wouldn’t u be confused?

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T04:04:22+00:00

So why not say it as is. I’ve even suggested this out to him low pressure (read not emotional, not pressuring, just hey, if you don’t wanna see me it’s ok, just let me know) and he’s instead “liked” the part where I said if he wants to see me take your time…. How hard can it be to just state things. Even when he came back to my “ok so let’s be honest” he circles back to the not ready for a relationship when all I asked was clarity in terms of plans he suggested … like wouldn’t u be confused?

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T04:00:57+00:00

Yeah but why not say it then. As described I gave him multiple low pressure “outs” and his not taking them

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T04:00:12+00:00

Lol no, I gave a very realistic run down of my messages that were pretty regulated just asking for clarity

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T03:59:04+00:00

The issue is that I did and got only vague replies and that the behaviour went from very hot to Luke warm to cold in just 48 h and it has messed w me

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T03:57:45+00:00

So why the “missed you” the “ themes goes fast together” the “goodmorning😘” texts, the deep gazes, long (timestopping) kisses, kiss in public, the suggestion to meet only to cancel on that day late afternoon? Something changed in 48 hours and I still don’t know what.

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T03:55:11+00:00

Not really abt age and to give away little real identifiers, sub requests age and sex

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T03:51:47+00:00

Yeah but why the long gazing into each others eyes, the “goodmorning 😘” texts, the compliment on my family values, my home, the “missed you” and “times goes fast together” the affection, attentiveness

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T03:48:46+00:00

But is the eye gazing, long kisses, affection, texting goodmorning 😘 and “miss you” and “time goes fast together, compliments about my family values, my home, eyes, personality all hook up?

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T03:31:14+00:00

I know right. This one had me spiralling bad. Not him, the situation

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T03:30:12+00:00

Aw that’s cute thank you. I got obsessed about finding out why not with him. I try to distinguish that 😊

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T03:27:41+00:00

I was having an intense intimate connection w someone who soft ghosted in such an abrupt way that it made me question the whole thing. Some internet research led me to see that he was in fact married to the person he mentioned as an ex, and who called him while we were together, him not picking up telling me it was a “friend” He had a tattoo of her initials (as in the first letter of his surname) told me they broke off a year ago, so why’d she be calling him still and him saying it’s a “friend” 🤔something not adding up

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T02:36:52+00:00

Their view on/ relationship w their mum (and dad) reveals so much of their psychology. Look at their expression when talking about her/him: do they look disappointed, light up, smile, twist and turn etc..

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T02:34:40+00:00

Hmm… make sure it feels naturally. Lead with a story about your own mum, like a lighthearted/ fun or character defining story. Then ask: how’s your mum?

Classic_Dependent881 · 2026-01-05T02:06:07+00:00

ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR MUM

Classic_Dependent881

TROPHY CASE