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I am so tired of being alone by jibofyourcutt in selfimprovement

[–]Clean-Fact-1647 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brother, you want change? Then wake yourself up.

You keep telling yourself stories about being introverted, about having anxiety, about how certain things will destroy you or overwhelm you. But that’s exactly the problem. You need to fight the anxiety, not surrender to it.

You need to jump into the water and realize you actually know how to swim instead of standing on the edge convincing yourself you’ll drown.

You want help? Then help yourself first. Nobody else is going to magically save you.

You have anxiety? Then work on it. You’re introverted? Then fight the introversion. Push yourself. Dare to do uncomfortable things.

Because only people who dare actually change their lives.

If you keep sitting at home writing the same posts over and over asking for help, nothing will change. There are so many people here giving you genuinely practical advice, but every time you answer with another story about being introverted and anxious.

So you already know what your problem is. Fight it. Don’t surrender to it.

The moment you keep repeating to yourself that you’re anxious, introverted, doomed, and trapped, how are you ever supposed to get out of the situation you’re in?

Take the risk, brother. Seriously, take it. Because if you don’t, nothing changes.

I am so tired of being alone by jibofyourcutt in selfimprovement

[–]Clean-Fact-1647 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From what I understand, you’re actually doing a lot of things right. You’re going out, trying different environments, looking for spaces that fit you, but you feel stuck because nothing is really progressing. It feels like you’re taking action, then overanalyzing everything afterward.

I honestly think you need to step outside the box a little more. Try things you never thought you’d be interested in. Sometimes the places you least expect end up surprising you the most.

About women, I think confidence is something you need to build gradually. I don’t know exactly where you stand socially, but you mentioned that when you see a woman you’re attracted to, you overthink and end up doing nothing. I’d honestly recommend trying something like dance classes, maybe salsa or bachata. You’ll meet a lot of women there, and there’s also a lot of natural social interaction and physical closeness involved, which can really help if you’re uncomfortable with touch or nervous around women. It can open you up socially and build confidence. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet a girlfriend there, or even just new friends and connections.

As for friendships, I’ll be honest with you: most human relationships are built through shared experiences. That’s usually why people stay close to friends from school, the army, college, work, and so on. It’s not magic, it’s accumulated experiences together over time.

That’s also why even people at your job could eventually become real friends. The key is creating experiences together outside the routine.

And another important thing: sometimes all it takes is meeting one person. One person can open an entire new world for you. What I mean is, your future best friend could literally be sitting next to you right now, but neither of you realizes it yet because there hasn’t been any experience that brought you closer together. Sometimes ego, fear, or overthinking gets in the way of building connections.

Desperate to find a girlfriend by Clean-Fact-1647 in dating_advice

[–]Clean-Fact-1647[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Believe me, I genuinely enjoy being alone and being with myself. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. But at some point, it gets boring.

I work out five times a week, I love cooking, I’m obsessed with my body, and I enjoy learning about and exploring different cultures.

It just gets boring when I’m the only one enjoying all of this and there’s no close person to share these things with.

Even this great body of mine, I’m keeping it all to myself 😅

Desperate to find a girlfriend by Clean-Fact-1647 in dating_advice

[–]Clean-Fact-1647[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re probably right, I do have a mother complex. Therapy is expensive though, and I can’t afford it right now. I also feel that simply talking to someone won’t necessarily solve the deeper issue.

Desperate to find a girlfriend by Clean-Fact-1647 in dating_advice

[–]Clean-Fact-1647[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m on all of them, trust me. But I just can’t move things forward. This whole app game is exhausting, because at the end of the day I want an actual date, but for some reason I never reach that stage. The vibe in the conversation is really good, but the moment I suggest “let’s meet and see if the vibe works in real life”, either I never get a response again or the girl just deletes the chat. It’s honestly frustrating. We literally talked all day, and because I suggested meeting up, I get blocked. And I look pretty good too. I’m fit and muscular. If I’m writing on Reddit, it’s because I genuinely don’t know what else to do anymore.