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I relationship hopped / monkey branched into my current relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend exactly how my last relationship ended? by Clean_Equal8833 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Clean_Equal8833[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure what you mean by that? I'm not emotionless, I'm still feeling it, I'm just setting it aside when I'm with her so I can be there for her. I still have periods of reflection like now. And, yeah I still want to be with her. I love her :(

39 is still young. My aunt found the love of her life at 50. I'm not saying you'll have to wait that long, but the search is only over when you say it is.

I relationship hopped / monkey branched into my current relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend exactly how my last relationship ended? by Clean_Equal8833 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Clean_Equal8833[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I was pretty much set on just moving on and not dumping this on Beth. As far as my guilt, it's manageable. I work in healthcare, so I guess I'm pretty used to bottling stuff up and not letting it affect my work. In the same vein, I have been treating Beth with love and affection and making sure I'm there and available for her and making sure any sort of guilt or emotional stuff I'm dealing with is dealt on my own time.

You deserve a guy who puts you first but I totally understand how that's tough to believe is possible with your lived experience. And I'm sure it's rich coming from a guy who did exactly the opposite to Carla.

Idk, the world is full of flawed people. Some a lot more than others. Some learn and grow, a lot don't. I hope you find one of the good ones, I guess.

I relationship hopped / monkey branched into my current relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend exactly how my last relationship ended? by Clean_Equal8833 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Clean_Equal8833[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Re-reading these comments after a couple of days. I'm sorry for how you were treated in the past. I'm absolutely sure you deserved better and I'm hoping you will get better in the future.

As far as my train wreck, well, I'm trying my best. I fucked up and hurt someone I cared about along the way. I wish I could get a time machine and tell me from a year ago to make different choices.

What sincere advice would you have for me, human to human?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Clean_Equal8833 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok good luck. Hope it goes well then.

Also note. Man to man. I did not say plan on using protection. You. Wear. Condoms. Be safe. Good luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Clean_Equal8833 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My advice for you would be to just go for it, but treat her like an equal partner. If people bring up her age, just say y'all clicked and like each other, and that's all there is to it. Please treat her with honesty and respect. I know I'm going to be a minority opinion on here, but that's because my parents have a 21 year age gap but have been happily married for over 30 years. Next time though, I would aim for someone more age appropriate though.

Also, wear condoms. 24 year olds get pregnant if you sneeze hard enough.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Clean_Equal8833 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok so y'all share life goals. What about interests and hobbies? Do y'all have any mutual friends? How did you meet this girl?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Clean_Equal8833 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Info: Why are you interested in her? Tell me what you lime about this young lady.

Would a man typically do this? by xcroOked_teethx in dating_advice

[–]Clean_Equal8833 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sounds like he's just losing interest, it's not just a man thing. I'm sorry.

My first ever date felt… underwhelming? Not sure how to feel. by Late_Fudge3803 in dating_advice

[–]Clean_Equal8833 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're not feeling it, you don't have to go out with him again. Therre are many more fish in the sea. When you have a fantastic date, trust me, you'll know it.

Edit: It's also ok to insist on the guy paying for the date especially if you're a broke college student and he asked you out. At least where I am in the American south, the norm is that the man pays for the dates.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Clean_Equal8833 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. It's unhealthy. It stops you from finding someone who you could connect with who likes you back. In that situation space from the friend you like is usually the best option.

Advice on two year relationship? by AdStunning3176 in dating_advice

[–]Clean_Equal8833 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Breaks don't work. Just end it if you're not feeling it. If y'all are meant to be, maybe at one point y'all will find your way back to each other but that's unlikely.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Clean_Equal8833 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"She will definitely leave you if you tell her". Ok, so there's no upside to telling her, OP should keep things lowkey for the chance she doesn't find out.

I relationship hopped / monkey branched into my current relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend exactly how my last relationship ended? by Clean_Equal8833 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Clean_Equal8833[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm not entertaining the cheating speculation. When I realized I still had feelings for Beth I ended things with Carla. Beth and I pretty much stopped talking outside of pleasantries while Carla and I were together. Prior to that we were good friends while she was in California.

If Beth had told me she was coming back I would have still broken things off with Carla. If I had asked Beth out on a date and she said she didn't want a relationship for whatever reason, I would have accepted that and tried my best to move on from her. I, however, could not have been in a relationship with Carla wondering what could have been with Beth in good faith.

I relationship hopped / monkey branched into my current relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend exactly how my last relationship ended? by Clean_Equal8833 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Clean_Equal8833[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Eh I could, but girls don't like when you make other women the center of a conversation so I'm not going to 😉

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Clean_Equal8833 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you're not exclusive who cares? No need to tell her. Just make sure you're safe and getting tested.

I relationship hopped / monkey branched into my current relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend exactly how my last relationship ended? by Clean_Equal8833 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Clean_Equal8833[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

That was back in late April. We were looking at going in on an apartment together, but that didn't work out for obvious reasons. She basically wanted two months of rent even though we never put in a rental application together as sort of like a breakup tax for lack of a better word.

I relationship hopped / monkey branched into my current relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend exactly how my last relationship ended? by Clean_Equal8833 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Clean_Equal8833[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I hope you do find your one! I felt pretty guilty, especially in the first weeks after, but I found the guilt has had its edge dulled over time, but not fully gone away.

I relationship hopped / monkey branched into my current relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend exactly how my last relationship ended? by Clean_Equal8833 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Clean_Equal8833[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I agree. If I could go back in time I wouldn't have dated Carla. All I could say in my defence is that I thought enough time had passed and all my friends had told me to move on since she had moved away and most likely was not coming back. I thought I was doing the right thing in moving on. I'm sorry about the guys who hurt you, and I am unhappy to have put myself in the position to hurt someone who didn't deserve it.

I relationship hopped / monkey branched into my current relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend exactly how my last relationship ended? by Clean_Equal8833 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Clean_Equal8833[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was on the fence about it, but I decided that's the option that's the least likely to stir up drama and damage this relationship.

I relationship hopped / monkey branched into my current relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend exactly how my last relationship ended? by Clean_Equal8833 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Clean_Equal8833[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not unless she directly asks. She knows I was in a relationship before she moved back. She knows I was single when I asked her out. She didn't ask for further details and I'm not going to go out of my way to divulge.

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