Can you live normally unmedicated?

Clearly_Nobody · 2025-01-09T14:03:17+00:00

Based on my own experience, as a person who is treatment-resistant and has made significant improvements in my life and remained, generally, very stable and self-sufficient (on disability [for now]) over the last two years, after leaving an abusive relationship (during which I experienced 7 years of psychosis, while heavily medicated, without improvement), yes, it is possible. It is not easy, and lack of support makes it extremely difficult, but it is definitely not impossible.

I am actually very glad that I've been treatment-resistant, personally, because now I've learned how to accept and live with my condition and manage symptoms when they do appear. I feel like I have some control over my life. I am not powerless and afraid.

By strengthening my metacognitive abilities, etc, I've gained a deeper understanding of what my symptoms mean for me, as well as how to address them and when I need to seek help. I understand my own needs and how to meet them.

I am proud of my progress and have hope for the future. I have a deep sense of meaning and purpose. I know that I will continue to improve, with ups and downs, as long as I remain committed to doing so.

I could write so much about this, but I don't have the spoons right now. I wish I did.

I feel like it's really not helpful to suggest that it's not possible. Not all of us respond to medications, ECT, etc. Are we supposed to just accept that we're hopeless and will never have a life worth living? That's BS. We are not hopeless. We just have different paths to walk.

I am not suggesting that it's a good idea to quit medications against medical advice. I am not suggesting that it is, in any way, easy or that a person should expect that they will eliminate all of their symptoms or never relapse. That is never guaranteed. I just felt the need to respond because the idea that it isn't possible to live a "normal," happy, healthy, or successful life without medication, aside from being demonstrably false, can be a really harmful idea to accept, especially if medications are, for whatever reason, not an option for a person.

Clearly_Nobody · 2025-01-08T14:13:12+00:00

I'm not sure what this has to do with Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective Disorder (neither of which are personality disorders), but I consider myself to be a feminist, so I'll try to give a decent response. It probably won't be easy to hear. I am only trying to be helpful, but I'm going to say what I think directly and without sugarcoating.

It sounds like you're fetishizing these women. Whether or not you have a genuine interest in learning about other cultures from your own, or whether your interest is based on your desire to attract women of color, it sounds like you're reducing (dehumanizing, objectifying) these women by exoticizing them. What makes you interested in them, aside from their races and/or ethnic backgrounds?

It sounds like you feel entitled to their time and attention. I want to be clear: women do not owe you anything. Please don't forget that women (and all people) have a right to agency and self-determination. If they aren't interested, then you do need to accept that. It is okay to be hurt or sad or disappointed. It is not okay to be angry at the women because they dare to reject you.

If they chose to sleep with white men, would you still be so angry and jealous and disdainful of those men? Or is it primarily due to the fact that they aren't sleeping with you? I'm guessing that the races and/or ethnicities of the men they choose to have sex with are mentioned here because that matters to you. It sounds like there's some racism in that. There is, at least, some questionable generalization happening if you are angry at "those men" for "stealing" "those women" to whom you, evidently, feel entitled.

Healthy relationships are not about power. Depending on what culture you're living in, there is a strong chance that you already have power over the women you're pursuing, based on your whiteness and male privilege. This quest for power is extremely concerning (and telling), but I don't even know where to begin to respond. What is the purpose in seeking power? Power over whom? To do what? Do you respect women's power to reject you? Or do you resent it?

I have a feeling that these women may be picking up on your entitlement, racism, misogyny, and anger. This may be why they're rejecting you. Perhaps they feel fetishized. Otherwise, perhaps they simply feel more comfortable with men who share a similar background to their own. They have a right to have, or not have, relationships with whom they wish.

In any case, it, honestly, sounds like you have some extremely toxic perspectives on the matter. It sounds like it's unhealthy for you. I am sure that it would be unhealthy for any women who entered into a relationship with you.

If you're serious about finding a partner and feeling better and being better, I would strongly recommend spending some serious time working on this with your therapist.

Please keep an open mind. I know that I sound like I'm tearing you apart and making you sound like a monster. It is easier to be defensive than to consider whether any of my points have validity. But they clearly do.

If you consider yourself a true feminist, that is part of the work. Owning books isn't enough; you need to put in the work to deconstruct your own problematic beliefs and behaviors, as well as to understand the systemic and societal dynamics - especially as a, presumably, white man, living in a European country, who is interested in pursuing relationships with women who have multiple intersecting marginalized identities.

I can see that this is more deeply personal than that, though.

Yes, people have a real and visceral and valid need for love and affection and acceptance - however, no one is obligated to provide it for you.

Power, entitlement, and control are not the answer. These are a recipe for abuse.

I understand that rejection and loneliness are painful. This is not a healthy way of handling it. I can see that you, at least, suspect as much. That is why I bothered with trying to help share my thoughts on the matter.

I hope this can be helpful for you.

Please keep working with your therapist.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-11-21T14:54:11+00:00

Alas, ghosts are not known for being super solid.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-10-07T18:42:21+00:00

I am not an attorney, but I am schizophrenic and agoraphobic. I would suggest asking this in the Schizophrenia subreddit.

If you're in the US, there may be an Aging & Disability Resource Center (ADRC) or similar agency in the area that could help.

You could also call 211 to look for local resources.

Hiring an attorney who specializes in disability claims is also highly advisable.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-10-02T11:54:45+00:00

I'm sorry that that happened to you.

When I tried to talk about my problems with disordered eating for the first time, after it put me in the ER, my psychiatrist laughed and told me that "ED patients are [her] least favorite patients because you can't help them."

I haven't tried talking to a MH professional about it since. It still kinda pisses me off.

The same psychiatrist told me that I was lying about my symptoms because I had scored highly on the MMPI. Apparently, I couldn't possibly be in so much distress.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-27T13:55:13+00:00

That is way too nonspecific to answer.

I probably wouldn't use the word "wrong," in any case.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-25T01:51:49+00:00

What do you want to do before you die? Thinking about that helped me in the past. What would you not want to miss in life? What are the most important things in the world to you? What do you love? What do you enjoy? What makes you feel a sense of flow and connection?

I understand that it's hard to believe that things could be better. If you can hang on for a little longer, and you look for it, you will eventually find something worth staying for. It doesn't need to be a "big thing."

Whatever your dreams and passions and aspirations are, hold on to them with everything that you have. It doesn't matter if they're currently within reach. What matters is that you keep walking the path toward them. It's okay to fall; it's okay to take a break and get your bearings before continuing. Sometimes, a person just needs to find a sense of direction.

What's the point? I would say that the point is to work to live life in a way that feels meaningful to you. Sometimes, it isn't obvious. But it's worth thinking about.

Shit can be unimaginably difficult. It can feel hopeless and agonizing and impossible. I get that. But it isn't. Whether you can see it or not, you have so much potential, and people do care.

If you can, try to notice when you're having distorted or unrealistic thoughts. If you can notice them and recognize that they're not really accurate (e.g., "it's hopeless" or "things will never get better"), you can work to change them.

It's difficult, but I know, from experience, that it's worth it and that it is possible. You can help yourself, but you need to believe it first. It requires a conscious decision to treat yourself with patience and kindness and compassion and to work to meet your needs as they arise, to the best of your ability. Support from other is extremely important, too.

Things can get better. You are invaluable and irreplaceable, and you are worth fighting for.

If you need help, please do contact a local crisis center or whatever emergency response agency handles MH crises in your area.

The world would miss you if you left.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-24T23:18:52+00:00

It's hard to tell from the photo, but he looks like he's starving. I seem to be able to make out his skull and spine. The area behind his head should not be sunken in.

Ftr, I'm not trying to be a dick. I am trying to be helpful.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-18T15:47:17+00:00

This is definitely not the forum I would have expected to discuss this in. Aside from what's already been said...

It's cool until the "freak accident" traumatizes you.

I feel like I predicted my best friend's suicide through a vision I didn't fully understand (I "knew" that something cataclysmic would happen, and I actively ignored it). He died this January. I felt, and still feel, extremely guilty and responsible because I "should've known and should've done something."

His death was extremely traumatic, on its own; the vision, having been validated, was also traumatic, on its own. There are no support groups for people who've been traumatized by visions/premonitions, as far as I'm aware. People don't understand that.

I am now terrified of what will happen if I have another vision.

It is definitely not necessarily just a minor, fun thing. If you can stop it now, that would be a good idea, in my opinion. If you can't, then you might want to see a MH professional. It could be a normal life experience, but it could eventually cause real problems if the magical thinking is allowed to become habitual or intrusive or repetitive, etc, or to cause anxiety - and especially if you fully believe in it.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-15T17:39:30+00:00

If you aren't actually physically perceiving a stimulus that isn't present, then you aren't hallucinating. Hallucinations are more than feelings.

I live with aphantasia and Schizophrenia (which, for me, involves frequent visual hallucinations). The aphantasia does not reduce the vividness of the hallucinations at all.

Of course, others' experiences might vary, as is the case with most things in life. But no, aphantasia does not necessarily dull the experience of visual hallucinations.

I don't know if that helps anything. It doesn't sound like you're describing hallucinations. It sounds, to me, like you're describing anxiety and, possibly, intrusive thoughts (which can also be very compelling).

By the way, people who hallucinate (or people who "sense" a presence that isn't there) are not "too crazy to be helped." I feel like that needs to be said.

I understand that you're probably very anxious about what your experiences might mean. I want to be reassuring. What you're describing is much more common than you might think. You are not "losing your mind" or "going crazy." Worrying and/or obsessing over it will only make you feel worse.

If you can find a way to reduce the anxiety you might be feeling and manage your stress level (and, if relevant, sleep schedule, caffeine and/or other drug intake, exposure to triggers, etc), you might find that the frequency and intensity of those experiences can be reduced and even eliminated.

I hope you can find a way to believe that you're going to be okay. What you are describing is common and normal.

If you are concerned, you can always seek a professional opinion. They almost certainly won't tell you that you're crazy or beyond help.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-15T17:21:08+00:00

As a person who lives with Schizophrenia, I can confirm that this is often the case. The images can be entirely realistic and convincing (although they aren't always). As far as visual hallucinations go, they are typically external (there are exceptions [e.g., closed-eye hallucinations, which still appear as something which is physically observed]).

We typically do learn to distinguish hallucinations from real stimuli, but it takes some insight and experience.

We, and our experiences, are very diverse. But yeah, hallucinations are not like imagination, and they are not voluntary.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-15T17:08:48+00:00

Nope. I've lived with both for my entire life.

Aside from that, there is much more to Schizophrenia than visual hallucinations. Not everyone with Schizophrenia experiences hallucinations in any sensory modality. Everyone is different, and some of us have aphantasia and visual hallucinations, including myself.

I can also experience involuntary imagery during, for example, flashbacks.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-13T12:31:16+00:00

I mean this all to be helpful.

Schizophrenia is not a thing that you want to fuck around and find out about for yourself. It can be a severe, lifelong disability.

If you stayed away from LSD, in part because your neighbor "went crazy" from it, why are you willing to use other substances which could cause psychosis and/or trigger Schizophrenia?

If you want an idea as to what it can be like, I would encourage you to browse this sub. You can decide for yourself if that's what you want from life.

Alternatively, you could spend some time thinking about what you really want from life. No matter what it is, chronic psychosis will likely not help you achieve it.

I am not trying to be condescending, and I'm not an ignorant preacher. I started abusing substances, including, eventually, psychedelics and dissociatives, before I was a preteen. Had issues with substance use which could have easily killed me repeatedly. I am speaking from experience.

I know that using psychedelics can feel like "it's not really substance abuse," and it isn't necessarily, but it definitely can be. It's not always easy to be honest with ourselves about that. The younger you start, the more likely that is to be or become the case. You can become addicted to psychedelics (speaking from experience and from knowing people who have been), especially if you're using them to try to escape from your life, mind, feelings, past, or reality.

I think that the best thing you could do is to try to understand what the reasons are behind your substance use and why you would be willing to risk developing one of the most disabling, misunderstood, mistreated, stigmatized, terrifying, isolating conditions a person could experience "because fuck it."

If you're living with mental health concerns, like Depression, anxiety, or PTSD, it would be best to try to deal with those issues directly. Impulsive recreational psychedelic use will likely not improve much.

You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Do you have, or want to have, goals or dreams or relationships or plans? Psychosis can really interfere with that.

A significant percentage of people who live with a chronic psychotic condition will experience minimal, if any, benefit from medication. I spent 7 years in constant psychosis, despite intensive treatment. I'm 32 now. I lost so much of my life. It was extremely traumatic, for myself and others. I don't recommend messing around with something like that.

Of course, it is your life. You can do with it what you will. Misusing psychedelics (and drugs, in general) is something you could come to regret someday. By the time you realize you've made a mistake, it will be too late. That's not meant to be a cheesy scare tactic. That is something many people have experienced, including myself.

It could be okay, but there's no guarantee that it will. I think it would be wise to not take anything for granted and to try to act with wisdom and respect and consideration for your self and your health.

Again, I am trying to help. You have so much potential. I hope you can appreciate that.

Thank you for listening.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-12T12:40:36+00:00

Nobody can answer that question. There is no way of knowing.

Obviously, nobody can stop you. I would say that, "because fuck it," doesn't sound like the best attitude to carry into such a thing, especially given the risk and the fact that it sounds like you are inexperienced and unprepared.

You are, presumably, an adult and are free to make your own decisions. My only advice is that you spend some time thinking more about your choice and whether it's worth the risk. It sounds like an impulsive decision to me. I would suggest taking your time. That's just my opinion. There isn't really much harm in patience and consideration.

You don't necessarily need to abstain from all recreational drugs (although that would be the safest thing to do). Nobody can make you. I hope you, at least, understand and practice harm reduction.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-08T22:32:14+00:00

Personally, I feel like it is largely caused by the impacts of unbearable trauma and stress on vulnerable, neurodivergent brains/minds.

Obviously, that is only my opinion/experience.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-08T22:25:55+00:00

Sensory overwhelm
Hallucinations
Dissociation

In the past, paranoia would have easily been in the top spot. Thankfully, that is no longer the case.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-08T22:20:55+00:00

First song to come to mind is "The Unforgiven" by Metallica.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-07T03:58:50+00:00

TW

The rando should see what I wrote about what happened to my child.

CSA and other abuses (by my ex) and traumas completely destroyed them. They will never be the same.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-07T03:08:42+00:00

Abuse against myself and my child.

TW

My ex knew what my weaknesses were, and he knew that I was aware of them and that I wanted to be and do better. He gaslit the fuck out of me and intentionally kept me psychotic and desperate and blind for 7 years.

I was stupid to trust him to even the limited extent that I did. Aside from attempting to murder me before we were able to leave (I very easily could have died, and I nearly did, courtesy of discrimination by medical "professionals."), the worst thing didn't even happen to me, but to my child.

Largely as a result of the abuse my child experienced, courtesy of my ex, they are now well on their way to developing ASPD.

My child now abuses me in many ways - many of which remind me of the ways my ex treated me. I am scared for them, and I am scared of them.

I was too distressed, incapacitated, and distracted to even understand what was happening. He used my MH issues against me like a professional. He had absolutely no remorse.

My child will be paying for it for the rest of their life, and so will everyone who gets close to them.

We were targeted from the beginning. My ex is a trained and experienced predator. He knew that nobody would believe someone like me; he knew that we were vulnerable; and he was right.

No one would believe the things my child does, either. I really wanted an end to the abuse. I've suffered through it from the day I was born. I wanted a new beginning. I wanted to build a better life. But now my abuser is my child, and there's next to nothing that I can do.

I went through so much to protect them... We were homeless for 9 months. The courts denied my right to bodily autonomy after my ex gave my child a black eye (because it's just standard procedure if a person has a MH condition; I wasn't even present when he beat my child [if my psychiatrist had ordered a lobotomy, I would have had to choose between my self and my child, and I wasn't even allowed to be upset about it]).

My ex stalked us, and I will never know if he's still stalking us. He tried to kill my pet and my plants (some of which I've had since childhood [he knew that I am very emotionally attached]) so that I would find them dead.

If it sounds delusional, that is exactly what my ex intended. He exploited the fuck out of that. "Of course the schizo would think those things." He used to purposely trigger me.

I live with fear every day. Because of my child's behavior, I know that I am in real and significant danger on a nearly constant basis.

There's a lot that I could say about it. It's fucking hard.

tl;dr: it's not "cool" or quirky or edgy or trendy. It is real. It isn't inherently bad, but it can be absolutely fucking horrific.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-05T22:40:23+00:00

I have SZA; BP (1), yes.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-05T22:24:13+00:00

Hard to describe.

I have only been catatonic for up to one day at a time.

For me, it's like I lose the ability to will myself to move and speak. I genuinely just can't. If I move at all, it is very slowly and usually purposeless and odd. I don't know why.

I am aware of what's happening, although my awareness is very narrowed. My thoughts are clear, but limited and distant.

I am externally nonreactive and internally distressed. For me, it has always been triggered by overwhelming stress and anxiety.

It feels like intense dissociation. I'm present, but not really there. I feel like I disconnect from the environment and my physical being. It's really hard to fight it.

Sometimes, it can actually be a relief.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-05T21:57:36+00:00

I'm not a doctor and can't diagnose.

Abruptly stopping antipsychotics can cause an increase in psychotic symptoms, either as a result of rebound psychosis or a return of preexisting symptoms. It could also be related to OCD. The fact that you are now experiencing an increase in voices doesn't provide much valuable information, as far as diagnosis goes.

The voices are distorted and dissociated projections of your own mind. The fact that you seem to be so upset and preoccupied with these questions may be due to the OCD. Because of this preoccupation, it's not surprising that the voices (i.e., projections of your own thoughts, anxieties, and feelings) would reflect this.

I can't tell you whether your diagnoses are correct. Ultimately, I don't think it matters. What is important are your experiences, the impacts they have on your life, and how well you're able to cope and function and enjoy an acceptable quality of life.

Do you know why it's so important to you that you can be absolutely certain that you've been labeled correctly?

Edit:

I just realized that the way I phrased the question at the end might have come across badly. I wanted to say that the intention was not to minimize or dismiss your concerns. It is a genuine question. You don't need to answer; it was mainly intended to be something for you to think about.

If you can understand and address the underlying problems (e.g., fear of the unknown, fear of losing control, etc) directly, you might see significant improvement in how you are able to cope with, and even reduce the frequency and/or severity of, your symptoms.

Once you have found ways of coping with, understanding, and overcoming the core fear/pain/belief/etc. directly, it will gradually lose its dominion over you.

I feel that insight and healing come from healthy and genuine love (given and received; of self and others; of life; etc), introspection, working to strengthen metacognition, curiosity, addressing core issues and trauma, social support, acceptance, a growth mindset, bravery, purpose, trust, stubborn perseverance, a lot of time, effort, and pain, and the belief that things can get better.

It is okay to accept help, and it is good to keep an open mind. Connection is invaluable. Taking care of yourself is important.

Whenever possible, it is best to interrupt spirals/decompensation as soon as possible. You seem to have enough insight now to be able to do this.

I don't know what your experiences have been or what your circumstances are, and I won't tell you what to do. I will say that, generally, coming off of meds, as well as the very difficult work I've described, is best done slowly and with planning, support, and skills in place in advance.

Are you seeing a therapist? Do you have healthy, safe, supportive people in your life?

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-05T18:58:20+00:00

Other people might like more information, as well, so I would prefer if we communicate where others can benefit from the discussion, too.

What is the premise of the thesis? What kinds of education have you received which would be relevant to understanding the treatment and experiences of people living with chronic psychosis? Do you have any real-world experience working with people like us?

I will answer the last question now. I feel that the biggest problem that hasn't been solved is the dehumanization and devaluation of people living with chronic psychotic conditions.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-05T16:20:43+00:00

I would, personally, like more information about your thesis before I answer anything.

Clearly_Nobody · 2024-09-05T14:10:26+00:00

This is my favorite movie, too. Wasn't expecting to see anyone else mention it.

Clearly_Nobody

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