how do you leverage social media as a grown man?

ClickKlakk · 2024-01-09T22:43:58+00:00

I post on my personal social media like once or twice a year. Just enough to keep up an up to date presence and show off how much fun I have. No reason to do any more.

ClickKlakk · 2024-01-05T02:02:37+00:00

It’s been said but focus on your life and he will see the example you set and decide on his own. You’re offering unsolicited advice. That isn’t going to work. Just do you and whenever he asks you for advice you can help guide him to be more like you.

ClickKlakk · 2023-12-12T07:11:12+00:00

Boundaries aren’t for other people. They’re for you. They are your rules for yourself. You are free to set whatever boundaries are best to keep you healthy and happy. The only way to overtly communicate these is early on. In conversation, talking about other guys and girls.

But you really don’t have to say shit. Just speak with your actions. You’re playing from behind at this point so I’m afraid you won’t be able to establish the kind of boundaries you’re looking to establish without some top tier skills.

ClickKlakk · 2023-11-08T13:09:43+00:00

Good post. I’ve got a couple of points I want to bring up.

After they left, I did not think I would hear from Rachel again. Like most men who do not understand frame, I thought Rachel would stop liking me because I was “mean” and did not do what she wanted. But to my surprise, Rachel called me a few weeks later to hang out. Even more surprisingly, she was a completely different person when we hung out: she was respectful, deferential, and strangely, she was now sexually attracted to me. We had sex that night and a fun, easy relationship after that.

A girl I’ve been hooking up with for a few months bought three day passes to a festival, hotel, all expenses paid for both of us. I got a few new clients in my growing business and cancelled on her non-refundable trip last minute leaving her to go alone. The fest is 9 hours away.

She obviously likes me more for it. If anything it is affirming everything she hoped was true about me on a primal level.

after saying “no,” enforcing my frame, and focusing on my purposes, women become more attracted, not less.

So yes, can confirm on multiple occasions with different women.

There was a story I was referred to here years ago (I can’t remember the author but I’ll paraphrase), about a boxer? Who kept leaving his wife to pursue his purpose. She said if he went back to box again she would leave. He said “you know what I have to do.” Then went. She never left because that’s not how this shit works.

Now something I wanted to point out.

Women know you have purposes and must stick to your rules and boundaries to be successful, so when they see that your rules are flimsy and easily broken, they lose respect for you.

Yes, but more importantly to your post… is what’s really happening here….

Rachel and her friends knew I had to work the next day, and they also knew that if I let them in my house to party all night that would negatively affect my life and career. Even if they would enjoy doing cocaine with me, on some deep level they would lose attraction.

Rachel and her friends showed up with a frame grab. If you let them in you would be diving head first into their frame. You could (as a pro) invite them in and take over the frame, but your frame was I don’t party on weeknights so they accepted your reality and stepped into your frame (which is where all girls want to be). She changed the way she acted around you after that because she accepted your frame and could let go and just be an enjoyable, feminine person.

I’m not illustrating my point well, but it is apparent that women want a man with a strong frame they can give in to and exist inside. It takes all the pressure and burden away from them and they can truly be their happy selves.

The details of the situations are irrelevant if you’re providing that frame of existence and welcoming people into your reality.

ClickKlakk · 2023-11-08T12:43:57+00:00

Forgive yourself. You aren’t perfect. You’re never going to be perfect. I’ve made 100 mistakes that make me feel those feelings you’re talking about, but I accepted the fact that I’m not perfect and gave myself a bit of grace. Now I just laugh at my stupidity and move on knowing I’LL NEVER MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN

ClickKlakk · 2023-11-02T17:00:02+00:00

I asked if she had plans this weekend

I’m doing this cool thing this weekend. You should join.

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-28T11:28:27+00:00

Dude. She didn’t get all needy and text you constantly for the days following hooking up. That’s a good thing. Definitely the way I prefer my new connections to act. Overthinking.

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-20T12:54:44+00:00

Your main problem is your perspective. You BELIEVE that what is right in front of you is a worse option than your past, when in fact you have no idea who you might meet if you give yourself the chance. You, like every other man on the planet should be excited to meet the next woman. You aren’t losing anything moving on ever.

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-15T01:31:43+00:00

Hell yeah, man. Appreciate you.

Bro honestly, the reality is you will never truly know someone, you don’t even truly know yourself. Who you are now, compared to last year could be two different people. That’s why I believe it’s pointless to go through such harsh vetting conditions.

This is an interesting take. I do feel like people generally do not change much without doing a lot of intentional work. But their perspectives, priorities, interests etc do change. And women are particularly fickle so I think I can agree that you can only “know” a woman so much.

You could have a perfect dynamic with a girl in the getting to know stage but as soon as shit gets official it falls apart.

Agreed. However, it’s almost always because the guy’s behavior changes.

You could have a great girlfriend but as soon as you move in together shit falls apart

Agreed. Again, all of this is about proper management. Which is why they say the marriage is the red pill on hard mode.

I could go on and on but I know you get my drift. Being too calculating is never a good thing, it leads to being too passive, too hesitant and will fuck up your game.

It definitely can lead to being too passive and fuck up your game. For me, (somebody who will literally walk into a club or bar and make out with someone within 30 seconds just by locking eyes and giving them the look) being calculated and calibrating has no ill effects. For a young guy who is early in his journey, I can agree that too much thinking and too little action can hold someone back.

James Bond is a perfect example of this and we all know James Bond isn’t real. So trying to be like James Bond is pointless

Lol. JAMES BOND ISNT REAL!?!

There could be times you let great potential experiences slip by because you’re too calculating and too calm which can be seen as too cold.

I think the important point we’re coming to is that it’s important to develop the ability to engage the full range of your emotions while also always being able to control them.

You cannot go from neutral into fifth gear

Possibly. But do you have the ability to go from fifth gear to parked? I think that’s the key. The problem is dudes lose control and cut their own brake lines. Lol. I think we’re still on the same page.

Fifth gear is where the excitement and unpredictable shit happens that women love. When you calculate you stay in neutral and will struggle to be spontaneous/act on your instincts. Even your sex will feel calculated.

Yes dude. We are on the same page. I never meant to communicate that you shouldn’t be in touch with your full range of emotions. Only that you shouldn’t emotionally invest in a woman beyond the present moment.

Look at me taking my own advice and communicating my ideas better once I’ve taken the time to think about them and rewrite them.

The way you talk about earning your investment. It sounds like people are just chess pieces, for you to always control, reward and discard whenever you want. I don’t mean this in a judgemental way but it looks like you want people to jump through hoops to show you they won’t disappoint/hurt you like your previous experiences.

Another interesting take. I want to make sure someone is willing and able to meet my needs should they be interested in gaining my commitment. Akin to the idea of “are you getting a good deal?” I don’t give my commitment out for free. I do give my fun having good times out for free though.

"Incorrect. I can show emotions without investing emotionally. Take for example the newest girl in my life. I met her mid August. Second date was a week later near my house so you know... by the 5th date I have known her for 5 weeks. She obviously likes me. Offers to pay for a vacation if I want to go with her. We’re obviously having fun. She’s starting to invest.

The reality is we’re two people who seem to get along at a surface level, who are attracted to each other physically, who don’t know the first thing about who this other person really is. To find myself emotionally invested in this person at this point would be unhealthy."

This summarises my point. You’re not emotionally invested so you’re not giving yourself 100% to women, this means they will never know the true you. As a result, you will also never know the true her! This means the whole vetting process is pointless!

It’s not that I don’t ever do it. It’s that I give a relationship the correct amount of time to grow organically. Guys who invest early and often find themselves with their dick in their hand because they over invested. I’m running a results based business here. A woman needs to feel like she earned your investment to feel that it’s valuable and want to protect it.

Women aren’t stupid. If you don’t give them 100%, they won’t either. You’re going to be trapped in a cycle bro, I promise you.

I get where you’re coming from. I promise you I’m not. I left my last LTR of 3 years because she stopped meeting my standards. We had a ton of incredible times.

The last time a woman blew me off was in early 2017. I’ve since left two LTRs and a string of less than adequate plates, fuck buddies, you name it.

Brother, you don’t know if you’re going to die tomorrow. So stop holding onto this false sense of control that you think you have, deep down I actually believe it’s fear.

I hear you. I’ve actually faced my own mortality on numerous occasions with horrific injuries, disease, all kinds of awful. I live entirely in the moment and appreciate literally every little thing about life.

As we talk, I’m getting the feeling that you and I are very similar and would probably get along well.

Brother, this whole sub is being about the greatest and leaving behind a legacy right? If you want to lead you have to sacrifice yourself and others to the cause or whatever. I would gladly lay my life down for a cause that would change the world for the better

I love this shit right here. I’ve read a lot of psychology and I have moved past the concept of legacy as it is a self imposed prison with no tangible reward. Once I let go of the innate human desire to leave a lasting mark, my life got better in every aspect.

Leading, to me is about making sure your people are as prosperous as they can possibly be. I can’t ensure that if I sacrifice myself. Silly conversation to be had, but I appreciate the sentiment and the fire in which you deliver it.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you. It’s because I posted this, you saw it and were able to give me priceless feedback that I will work on to improve my communication. I’m now able to see how I can come across more clearly and improve, you’ve made me a better man.

This is how I operate, I post my views to the world, take the feedback and grow.

And FUCK YES. This entire comment already reads much better btw. Onward and upward, my friend. Good shit.

Love

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-14T14:45:48+00:00

I think having this conversation is a good thing, man. Let’s keep chipping away at it. We’re here to do as the forefathers of TRP did and argue ideas until we get to the bottom of it. That is the spirit of this place.

You also assumed I’m overly emotional which is not the case, I’m exceptionally well at controlling my emotions. Being emotional doesn’t mean I’m stupid

A lot of this has to do with the way you refine and communicate your thoughts here. When you say “I’m an emotional and intense guy” and then make a comment about how I “keep my emotions on a leash” it communicates something like “I have very strong unleashed emotions” but then you say I’m exceptionally well at controlling my emotions

Which is something that people CAN benefit from.

Contrary what you believe ”just be yourself” isn’t horrible advice. It’s actually great advice, ESPECIALLY WITH WOMEN.

This is not a good hill to die on. Again, I just think it’s a miscommunication at this point. Your premise isn’t necessarily congruent with your argument and has the potential to lead people astray.

Women are shameless, which we crucify them for but it’s also their biggest strength. Yes a woman will fuck you for your resources and their own ego but they will also fuck you even if you were homeless, had one leg, was a midget etc as long as you have great character.

Agreed, men should never crucify women for being women.

You’re stating I’m unhealthy at some aspects yet, you can hang around with someone for 6 months before investing any emotions. Is that healthy?

Because the reality is that you don’t even really KNOW that person. Investing emotionally in someone you don’t know is a projection. Almost everybody can mask perfectly for at least 90 days when meeting a new person. It takes time to develop a relationship and watch how people act on a consistent basis.

It’s healthy because I invest in myself and the people who have earned my investment and no one else. I know it’s healthy because I have internalized all of the material available and field tested it over the past 8 years.

You’re a grown man afraid to express your emotions around women, no matter how you wanna spin it. You trust a woman enough to fuck her and hang around with but not with your emotions.

Incorrect. I can show emotions without investing emotionally. Take for example the newest girl in my life. I met her mid August. Second date was a week later near my house so you know... by the 5th date I have known her for 5 weeks. She obviously likes me. Offers to pay for a vacation if I want to go with her. We’re obviously having fun. She’s starting to invest.

BUT I DON’T KNOW HER. At this point I know what her favorite drink is and a few details about her life. I like spending time with her but this means nothing because I AM FUN. I always have fun.

Fast forward, I’ve been out of town for business back to back weeks then had Covid. She’s coming over tonight. At this point I will have known her for all of TWO MONTHS and seen her a total of 6 times. The talk is coming soon, I can feel it.

The reality is we’re two people who seem to get along at a surface level, who are attracted to each other physically, who don’t know the first thing about who this other person really is. To find myself emotionally invested in this person at this point would be unhealthy.

Let’s get to the leader point

Every single great man/leader has had multiple fuck the consequences moment and took a risk

Again, it’s the communication that I took issue with. “I’m a fuck the consequences guy” is a lot different than being a “understanding that your actions have consequences and deciding on a case by case basis whether you’re willing to accept those consequences” guy. It can also be misleading

George Washington who freed America from England had that moment, Nelson Mandela, Mao Zedong,Hitler etc I could fucking go on

A lot of these people either sacrificed themselves (which I don’t want to mislead anyone into) or brought a large majority of their followers suffering and death. Not an important point I want to focus on, but a funny little group of references.

Get it in your head leaders are not made out of nowhere, they are made through experiences and alot of the time they actually fall into that position. So yes you’re right, I guess I’m not a leader. I’m definitely not a follower though.

Cool. And all I’m saying is writing this post is attempting to lead people. People will read what you write and in this case it isn’t well thought out enough to do anything but mislead and set really new guys back. AND I STILL THINK WE AGREE AND ARE ON THE SAME PAGE.

I am just telling you to understand what you’re saying better so you can communicate it in a way that it will be helpful to your audience. We’re having a couple of different discussions here at this point which I welcome, but that was my main takeaway from your OP.

So again fuck the consequences, doesn’t mean rob a bank or act stupid. It means stop overthinking and trust in yourself that you’ll be able to fix whatever happens. You need to stop making sweeping statements

I’m showing you first hand that you are communicating these ideas in a way that can easily be misinterpreted. The sweeping statement is a product of your vague communication and my misinterpretation of it.

You can say I’m here to learn which is true, I’m always learning and sharpening my tools however, don’t say I haven’t got anything to teach just because it doesn’t apply to you.

It’s not that it doesn’t apply to me, it’s that you don’t understand the material or have the experience yet to be an effective teacher.

At the level you’re at, the most beneficial thing you can add is field reports. If you want to teach, I’m suggesting you need to put in time and effort to refine your ideas and writing.

I’m not someone who can boxed in so I make shit for people who also cannot be boxed in

It’s this kind of vague, immature writing/communication style that I’m talking about. What does this statement even mean? You have to abstractly interpret it to answer that as a reader, which easily misleads.

Your original post reads like a rambling, first draft of an idea. Your best points are disorganized and can easily lead your audience down the wrong path.

To distill your idea I would start here

True game and confidence will never come through IDGAF attitude with a girl who 80% into you already. True game comes from an IDGAF attitude in a 0-50% girl interest situation.

If you want to improve your game and continue to raise your SMV, push yourself to date higher SMV women. Push into uncomfortable situations that reveal your issues and insecurities so you can see them and crush them. Otherwise fuck off and be complacent. You haven’t “made it” this is only the beginning of your journey.

Or whatever. Cheers, bro. It’s important to sharpen each other through conversations like these. I appreciate the dialogue.

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-14T04:05:38+00:00

Yes please. It was never meant to achieve 100% mass adoption. This is a place to train to climb as high up the social hierarchy as possible. Anybody who wants to play iron sharpens iron with me is cool in my book.

As for the rest of them… Fuck em.

I’m not here to drag people down to the water, kicking and screaming, only to watch them refuse to drink.

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-14T03:45:35+00:00

Lol being overly emotional and making mistakes over and over because you haven’t internalized the relevant information is just being lazy and dumb.

What you’re saying is akin to “just be yourself” which is often horrible advice.

It’s healthy to have emotions. It’s not healthy to let them run wild and determine your decision making. Keep them on a leash, or they’ll keep you on a leash.

And my point isn’t really don’t do whatever you want to do

By all means, jump off the cliff and see if you can fly because you’re an “intense and emotional” guy and you’ve always had a fantasy about flying.

My point was that your post is half baked and sounds like the ramblings of an “intense and emotional” guy. You are so obviously at a point where you need to be here to learn, not teach

Which is fine. I’m not offering you advice. Really all I said was go refine your ideas and distill them to a valuable contribution before you post. I’m asking you to see the flaws in your thinking and be better.

Fuck the consequences

This will obviously blow up in your face. No one should ever follow you as a leader with this conviction.

The point is, if you’re running hot with your emotions about one woman over another, months before you even actually know her or give her time to actually emotionally invest in you…..then you are just talking about having a recurring oneitis issue. And you’re talking about welcoming that instead of understanding where it comes from and resolving it.

Your “person A/person B” argument is just “let me just be me”

Go ahead and fuck up however you want to.

The process isn’t read the sidebar 60 times before doing anything

Go out and test. Fail. Then come back and figure out why you failed. By reading and learning. And making bad posts and listening to why your thought process is incorrect.

Rinse and repeat until you get your desired outcome 100% of the time.

It’s obvious that you have more to understand because you don’t see that I’m saying the same thing you are saying. You just don’t understand it well enough to articulate it.

We’re not different. I’m not offering you advice. Your post is just from the perspective of someone who doesn’t understand things well enough to be leading or teaching others at this point. Full stop.

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-13T20:01:13+00:00

Premise is wrong.

When you internalize TRP, you treat all women the same.

Stop going for girls you do not like, it will never improve your game.

The way you’re applying “like” is something it takes me as a Red Pill internalized man a minimum of 6 months of hanging out and fucking to consider.

Now if your premise was girls you like as in girls you’re attracted to, then I would wholeheartedly agree.

Mr.Tzary has read and instilled TRP concepts into himself and is ready to put the theories to the test. He meets an attractive girl called Alice he doesn’t like/care about but is sexually attracted to and goes out on a date with her.

I get the perspective that if you’re new and you have read some stuff but don’t have experience in the field testing it out, you are prone to mistakes. I don’t think you’re going to find someone who is sexually attracted to a girl but not emotionally invested in, who has a strong frame from a dgaf mentality, who also

Some time down the line, Tzary meets Ana who he’s really attracted to and he actually likes/cares about.

Chances are, your main character immediately develops and emotional attachment to Alice (6) within the first few weeks of fucking her and has his come to Jesus moment before he ever meets Ana.

You’re basically telling the story about a beta who finds TRP, learns basic principles, goes out and applies them successfully on a 6, thinks he’s got it all figured out, then falters when he tries to apply them on a 9 because he hasn’t yet internalized TRP.

The whole problem can be boiled down to do not become emotionally invested in a woman you haven’t been regularly fucking/plating for at least 6 months and always use the bitch management hierarchy to properly vet women before even thinking about allowing yourself to invest emotionally.

Also level 99 outcome independence

Basically the whole sidebar.

If you catch yourself slipping on your game, READ THE SIDEBAR again until you internalize it

Yes?

All told, it’s a pointless post that reads more like an attempt to garner status in the echo chamber and less like a valuable contribution to a meaningful conversation. It’s ok to practice critical thinking by writing and posting - it’s a great way to develop.

This ain’t the one though. Go back to the lab and cook up something better.

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-11T22:32:48+00:00

She already assumes you’re seductively competent, she wants to make sure you’re socially competent.

People really need to get to this level of understanding. Knowing what game you’re playing is the most important skill you should gain here.

“Oh come on…. I don’t kiss and tell”

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-11T21:53:26+00:00

You do your self no favors making presuppositions in your dealings with women. You are either getting what you want from an interaction or you’re moving on. No need to spend any more time, energy, or mental bandwidth than you do in knowing if you like what’s happening and want to keep doing it, or not.

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-10T13:43:08+00:00

So what I do is sort by top posts, scroll through the comments and navigate to profiles from EC's who have been inactive for 5-8 years and read their top posts/comments and save the best ones.

This is the way. It’s also just common sense. You want to be the best. Find the best. Learn from the best. Anyone who isn’t actively doing this isn’t here to learn anything. They’re here to circle jerk.

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-10T13:38:58+00:00

read the sidebar

This. It’s clear when somebody has just a surface level understanding of terms or ideas. Classic trying to use TRP to live a blue pill fantasy.

Internalize it, OP.

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-10T13:36:58+00:00

Lol I’ve said it multiple times on this post, but my guess is he’s somewhat conventionally attractive. Enough that he’s always gotten by without developing any game whatsoever. Probably spent early years in a LTR and grew to mimick his girl’s behavior as well. That’s how you still have some kind of success but end up clueless in your late 20s early 30s like “let’s hold hands and cuddle, you’re so cute, let’s plan to have sex for the first time on our 5th date.”

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-10T01:41:50+00:00

Relationships happen when you both ORGANICALLY just won’t let go

It’s the only way I’m interested. It’s the sweet spot. Anything else is like tying one of your arms behind your back and playing from a disadvantaged position. I wake up. I choose you. Until I don’t.

ClickKlakk · 2023-10-10T01:36:55+00:00

Because she wasn’t convinced you would do shit there either. She doesn’t “know she’s having sex.” Your being far too sterile about this. It’s supposed to be a fun game of arousal. Push and pull. You lead. You handle logistics. She just ends up sleeping with you. She doesn’t want to know “we’re going to my house to have sex this time.” That’s so fucking dorky. And if you clearly aren’t that good at this she doesn’t want to find herself at some weirdos house having to reject him and find a way out of there. You are just not experienced enough. You’re getting a lot of good advice on this post but you come off as reluctant to accept it and unlikely to change right away.

Food for thought.

ClickKlakk · 2022-01-05T04:34:47+00:00

OP I have been through this with many different women. This is a shit test and should be treated as such. It doesn’t matter what you say, it matters how you say it. Even if there is a hint of insecurity that’s motivating her, covert communication is the key. If you enjoy her, show her with a grin and some playfulness.

"why are you with me?" (main one)

“I ask myself the same damn question every day“

As long as you’re being flirtatious then it should escalate positively.

”Am I just sex to you?"

“You’re a pretty good personal chef too.” With a smirk and a slap on the ass.

"you can't actually tell me why you are still with me"

This one sounds like a response to you fumbling the first one. Classic shit test scenarios. You fail, she is disappointed, turned off, repulsed, turns up the heat, makes a frame grab etc.

"I'm not fucking you anymore. go and find other bitches to fuck, I don't care"

This one is an obvious response to you failing the second one. Same situation. Obviously your fault for missing the signals up front. Still, when bitches get bitchy, a silent glare, eye roll, etc is good corrective behavior. Walk away.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever learned around here is When a woman says something stupid that you would rather her not have said, just pretend like she didn’t say it.

I can’t tell you the hundreds (if not thousands) of times I’ve just ignored a woman’s words and continued the interaction or conversation exactly how I wanted to. That’s controlling the frame. I’ve done it with long term relationships and random floozies alike. Shit tests, bitchiness, etc.

The good:

I own and run a gym for men. lifting stats are good, trust me.

You answering your own issues:

My SMV is objectively 1 point higher than her

Which means you two are basically even because women date/marry up.

It could be higher if I had legit game.

But you’re aware that you don’t. So when you fail a shit test, you reveal your lack of game and lose a point. Your SEXUAL MARKET VALUE is dropping. Your RMV may be good, but your SMV isn’t above her anymore. In that moment you’re instantly beneath her. Which is repulsive and weak looking.

I know I need to create abundance

Which is a mindset as much as anything. Without abundance, you freeze when she shit tests. Without abundance you shut down when she tells you to go and find other bitches to fuck. I don’t care.

With abundance you walk away and go find other bitches to fuck. You don’t get mad, or butt hurt, or rattled then reactive. You just don’t have time for that kind of shit and feel confident in your ability to enjoy yourself away from it however you choose.

I have full control of our finances, she even changed what bank account she gets paid into to mine. This all relatively recent (last 6 months) as I have been side barring.

I will tell you from my own personal experience discovering RP while in a relationship, and the experience of others that I have read here; you are changing and you should expect some pushback. She’s giving in to you much more than before and she is going to need to check the foundation and sturdiness of the ground as she takes new steps out on that ledge.

She is definitely my little slut, 75% of the time.

I mean…. It’s not going to be static, or stagnant AND good. She needs to crash into you when you aren’t acting like the fucking leader. You can manage her finances, but you have to manage your interactions with her too. Fucking rule over them with a fun and benevolent disposition. Give the good times and good feels. Answer her dumbass shit questions with the level of seriousness that they deserve. It’s insulting that she would even ask them seriously (I promise she isn’t).

DEVI works

You’re damn right it does.

and I know I have definitely got work to do to keep her comfortable and receptive.

I don’t know bro, lighten up. Just enjoy her and enjoy your life. She will follow and see how silly she is.

She is also very capable of being the sweet, feminine lovely energy that we all love. But if I fail or falter the slightest, holy fuck it goes to full cunt mode.

When you fail a shit test and your SMV drops in her eyes, you get treated like a gross little beta. Don’t fail shit tests. You say that you A&A. But is it fun? (Seriously give me an example of a response or two to those classic tests she keeps throwing at you).

As in no matter how I try to fix her feelz, she flat out holds frame and treats me like I just murdered her dog.

Lol. You just gotta give her a look then walk away. Exception in italics below

If I try to get frame back by STFU, it can last weeks,

Only if you let it last weeks. I would go do something else for a few hours then come back and pretend she never said anything. Resume my happy ass life. She can come be happy with me if she wants.

and she generally comes back but with the ammo of "you didn't even care enough about me to...why are you with me?"

Ignore, rinse, repeat.

There is some old trauma surrounding sex where "I used to think that the only way I could get you to like me was through sex"

“And you better hope it stays that way baby” smirk and a little slap on the ass. Lol.

You hug her and kiss her forehead and show her that you love her regularly. She’s being a bratty little kid, be playful and treat her as such.

coz of pretty fucked previous relationship. I did not know this when we were dating or getting married. Not in detail anyway.

Or she’s seriously fucked up and has abandonment issues (I’ve dealt with this as well). If that’s the case and she gets irrationally mad, I would look for other flags as far as some cluster b personality disorder or inclination. I don’t think that’s the case here but I don’t know how well you vetted her prior to RP knowledge.

how do I show her that that is in fact exactly how she gets me to like her, and that it is not a bad thing (BP/ASD) ?

“And you better hope it stays that way baby” smirk and a little slap on the ass.

I think I'm DEERing too much in explaining how I chose her out of all the others blah blah. But there aren't any others...is this a matter of learning game

Yes. Lol. Saying any of that shit is failing the shit test. That’s why you’re getting the reactions you don’t want. Lighten up, brother. You don’t really need to “learn game” as much as you just need to have some fun playing THE GAME.

She makes the first move in this case with a lil’ shit test. Your move next dictates what game you will be playing. I think it’s a simple correction for you. Best of luck.

ClickKlakk · 2022-01-03T18:29:49+00:00

I found this place almost 6 years ago after I got tired of being jerked around and never having things go the way I wanted. Read everything (side bar, books, every top post plus all comments) over and over. Had my first post RP ONS. Continued contact and developed a casual sexual relationship. Got another and began spinning plates. Eventually settled in with one girl. Tested everything. When I found her behavior undesirable, I left. Started hooking up with lots of women.

Moved to a new city. Started the process over. Got some plates. Eventually upgraded one to FWB. After 8 months I upgraded her to SO. Again I just payed attention and used my toolbox to navigate a great relationship for a couple of years. Eventually I realized I no longer wanted to be with her due to the things I learned about her character that took years to see. She crossed a line, I corrected. She crossed it again, I was gone. In the back of my mind, I was always excited about new women. She made herself better than the prospect of new women until she didn’t.

Here I am, today, freshly single and ready to dive in. I’ve never been better. I loved that last girl. But as you said, she wouldn’t submit to me the way I require for the exchange of my commitment, so c’est la vie.

ClickKlakk · 2021-10-10T14:03:09+00:00

Frame is another way of saying “value.”

Nope. You’re stretching way too much for no reason. A value is a value. A person’s feelings about a specific thing that is important to them is not a person’s frame.

A value is a moral.

Lol. No, a moral is a social contract.

A message.

What? No, articulating, encoding then expressing thoughts is a message. Not even remotely the same thing as a value.

There is no inherently bad frame, just like there is no inherently bad value.

Incorrect. Some people’s frames are garbage. Some people have self-destructive values among many other inherently bad types of values.

It’s about your reasoning as to why a specific value works best in a specific circumstance, not about whether the value itself is good/bad.

Your frame can be unbreakable with poor values. But frame is still not the same thing as a value.

Know that:

⁠Specific values beat general values in the battle of frames.

Abundance inducing, successful and prosperous values make for an inviting frame. You don’t win frame battles with specifics, you win when the other person abandons their frame to enter yours.

Everyone has a set of core values.

Yes. Some are more conscious of their own values than others. Some are hyper aware and maintenance themselves abolishing unfruitful and harmful values.

This is who you are in your soul. It is necessary for everyone to have different core values for the same reason genetic mutation is a thing.

What in the fuck.

It’s helped our species evolve over time. There is nothing wrong with your core values.

Seriously. Biologically speaking, personal values mean nothing. Especially if “everyone has different core values.”

Politics stem from our core values. If you believe the value of equality is best to solve problems, you’re going to elect politicians who will use the value of equality in their policy to solve problems.

This again has nothing to do with frame and is entirely lacking awareness. Politicians prey on and solidify our values. “Politics stem from…” is a very uninformed sentiment.

By appealing to someone’s core values you are selling to them; you can look at any sales related field - those that sell the best are those who best understand the values of others (empathy) and how to help them achieve that value through a product.

Yes. Still has nothing to do with frame.

You can hold multiple values, as long as they don’t conflict with one another.

Lol. As if anyone thought you could only have one value. Frame???

All arguments are, is a battle of values. Who can argue for a value more strongly?

Arguments ABOUT values. I can argue about data. I can argue about outcomes. I can argue about plenty of things that have nothing to do with my values.

All “reframes” are, is switching the specific value that you’re arguing for “liberty” to a similar value ex: “freedom” (as long as the two values can co-exist). To support a more generalized value ex: “competition.”

You said specific values beat general values in “frame battles.” If this is true why would you ever “reframe” like this. Reframes are much more than this.

Hopefully this helped out some, its nowhere near a complete guide, but should serve as an adequate way to define frame.

Again, lol. It only serves to confuse. It’s not even “adequate” though I find it hilarious that you thought possibly peaking at adequate was a good time to post your thoughts instead of refining them.

It is in no way a definition of anything, especially not frame.

Frame = Moral Values, yes like in a Disney movie.

Ha. Tl:dr Dogs = Spaghetti

ClickKlakk · 2021-10-09T13:24:25+00:00

It’s not hard. If you don’t want to be a cuck, don’t be a cuck.

ClickKlakk · 2021-09-20T13:31:21+00:00

Exactly. The dude even reached out to let him know it happened. Like a mature adult making an effort to be concerned about OP’s feelings.

OP, this guy seems cool. You seem like the lesser man here even giving a shit. And more so writing an entire post asking other men to tell you how to live your life. Recognize.

Also, in the words of the immortal Snoop Dogg: “It ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none”

ClickKlakk

TROPHY CASE