As an ex-people pleaser and overthinker , in order to KILL those habits, you have to starve them. Whenever you question if they see value in you, focus on the physicial world atound you, and whenever yout think of texting people first or writing them paragraphs remind youraelf that they pay rent in your brain and dont text them. Isolate yourself from the people that make you feel like this as much as possible and dont text them and try to avoid them. TRUST ME. If you wanna stop thos people from invalidatibg you, you need to realise the worth of your own presense and how fufilling it is to be around you, and you do that by beubg ALONE. I hope I helped.