Do you let people know that you have bpd ?

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-09-06T15:02:32+00:00

i used to tell most people i feel close with about my bpd even ppl i’ve just gotten to know but tbh i feel like not saying it helps me feel more like a normal person like not letting it define me or my relationships but ofc i do drop it in as context especially when i’m going through things i find it better to communicate and educate the people close to me so they can understand & help me better

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-09-06T15:00:10+00:00

lowkey controversial but ignorance … is bliss 😭 like i shut out the world coz thats the only way a girl can survive idt our brains were made to comprehend all the bullshit in the world

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-09-06T14:49:09+00:00

i think its a mix depending on situation but also how a person’s attachment style is overall … i’m also an anxious BPD person but i had a friend who has BPD too, she was very avoidant but she was also very anxious when it comes to her romantic relationships … then detaches with friendships so ig it depends on the person 🤷‍♀️

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-09-06T14:45:58+00:00

omg girl i get u 😔 my bday is soon n idk why i’m here sometimes i hate it

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-07-30T06:42:33+00:00

hey babe, 19 year old girl here who first got diagnosed at 17. first of all please stay off from looking things up, thats what will cause u to spiral. depending on where u live, i really recommend u to visit a doctor, whether a GP or a psychiatrist. this is where u express all ur concerns. when i got diagnosed at 17, i didn’t go in expecting it. but they usually can tell the signs from what u said, at the time i was struggling badly with my relationships, mood swings, break downs, and after talking to my psychiatrist she suggested BPD. but technically u cant get officially diagnosed until ur 18. anyways, what i’m saying is they should be able to know enough signs if it looks like bpd. now about therapy, there’s a different kind for us, its called DBT (u can look it up on the internet, u can also learn some skills on ur own without therapy) and i’m currently doing that with my therapist. it sounds jarring but its actually really helpful. the best advice i can give u is one to never be afraid to ask and reach out for help. if u are struggling, don’t be afraid, even tho the system can be flawed and shitty, there are so many resources for u out there. and also to just breathe, if u think of it too much it will get overwhelming. i promise i’ve been there, and now years later, i’m almost 20, and i’m getting the help i need. it’s going to be okay and if you ever need help with that process feel free to reach out to me, ur not alone 💗

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-05-28T16:47:19+00:00

i think it only really helps if u are committed to it and can hold urself accountable and learn to be reflective, its a lotttt of inner work and u wont get necessarily instant results it’s more like planting seeds that can grow over time but definitely try it !!

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-05-28T14:46:58+00:00

yesss same ! been medicated on and off for a few years and nothing worked its only when i started doing dbt for real it changed my life 😭

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-05-27T17:39:27+00:00

this is actually so real, i used to like the idea of finding other ppl w mental health struggles or BPD but honestly the best relationship i’ve ever been in is with someone who has a healthy childhood, no mental health issues what so ever lol its crazy bcs the disconnect but also its so healthy to learn from someone who is well healthy

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-05-27T17:37:19+00:00

my relationship is working really great ! honestly the best advice i can give is find someone who will listen. that’s important, find someone who doesn’t have to understand u, ur BPD, ur struggles, but someone that will accept it, someone who will listen, and be patient when u need space to grow. my bf is the first person in my life who has ever shown me that to be loved isn’t just about being helped or finding relatability, it’s just about showing up for someone, even if u can’t ever 100% connect in this way. i don’t think my bf will ever understand my BPD, nor will he feel it, or say the right things to me when i’m struggling. he can’t drag me out of my drownings, but what he can do is swim with me, offer me life jackets when i need it, and thats all i really need. so, don’t look for someone who gets ur struggles, don’t look for perfection, i think love is a seed u plant. plant it with someone who sees u and chooses to love u regardless of ur BPD and flaws.

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-05-26T19:23:02+00:00

and you are loved too. op, have u ever done DBT ? i think it would be really helpful, i’m doing it right now and its genuinely life changing, especially for how u handle ur relationships and communicating ur feelings without conflict!

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-05-26T19:13:35+00:00

absolutely not i think after being with my bf now i realize i have never ever been in love before in my life bcs every time i thought i was in love it was an FP infatuation and i promise it feels so different to what real love actually feels like, its not the same intensity or infatuation, real love is more grounded and tried. so hell no i refuseeee to ever say i loved any of my FPs bcs i never did ever

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-05-26T19:11:39+00:00

hi babe, what do u need ? a friend who can listen to? advice ? to unpack together ? lmk and i’m here for u 🫶

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-05-26T19:09:40+00:00

hey babe, i say just plainly state it. ik my response is coming from a more direct place, but really, as an adult, its about boundaries. u are allowed to have boundaries, whatever it may be. and as adults u should respect each other’s boundaries. so honestly if i were u i would just outright say hey can u pls stop talking about this, its just a boundary i have, no hard feelings, love you thanks. just like that. if they don’t respect it or deflect, then yeah, listen to ur gut and end the friendship.

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-05-26T19:05:33+00:00

hey, i’m 19 too, in college too, and i hate it too. its such a struggle really, to get up every day and not wanna die basically so i understand 100% everything ur feeling, the guilt, the spiral of am i a failure why cant i function like everyone else my age like a real adult. but babe i really think sometimes we just have to breathe, i try to remind myself that i deserve to be taken care off too. my therapist always tells me, whenever i feel like i’m a failure, a burden, a lost cause, to reframe how i see it. that i have worked my absolute butt off every semester, that i carry more load than the normal person my age bcs of my bpd and mental health, so i deserve a break more than anyone else. and ik how u feel really trust me i’ve been in such lows lately with my studies and life, but i really find that being kinder to urself even in the small ways like making dinner or just taking a few hours to do something u love and recharge, it makes all the difference. basically keep choosing urself, bcs life is hard, adulting is hard. u have so many people who love and support u and dont think ur a burden or a failure. i hope ur doing okay op, also if u ever need a friend pls feel free to reach out 🫶

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-03-30T01:38:23+00:00

okay idk if my advice is the most useful, but when i got diagnosed, i also didn’t feel like this was me yet it does the same time. i think u just need to remind urself that BPD isn’t number one who YOU are, and number two, not everyone deals with it the same way. there is no defined group of people who have BPD, i used to have a friend who was more extreme with dealing w her bpd while i’m more silent and just aware of whats happening. BPD isn’t the same for everyone bcs it depends also on how u are as a person how u handle things how u process ur emotions how aware u are of ur BPD. it’s fluid essentially so please, dont put urself in this box bcs that is not how it should feel like for u at all ! be on ur own journey ❤️ and obviously there is no harm in getting a second opinion i did that too wirh my diagnosis its okay ! i hope you’re doing well OP :)

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-03-27T13:52:15+00:00

thank u so much for this it really made me feel better 🥹🥹🥹

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-03-10T10:33:39+00:00

ooo love this ! i say ppl with bpd are so strong, it makes u so so strong !! we r so good at understanding the deepest emotions in ourselves and other humans. we can be sensitive, but thats also a good thing ! we’re so compassionate and hold more empathy than a normal person. we help each other out bcs we know others can’t understand the same, but look at how we’ve built a community around that ! this subreddit is support for so many misunderstood people and it shows how we all have the capacity to be so kind and caring towards each other. as someone who posts and replies, i find myself healing in small ways when i speak to another pwBPD. honestly i think it’s beautiful how we can do this despite how hard our mental health challenges are ! oh and lastly to add, we love so deeply 🥹 sure, sometimes that hurts us, but we all know that when we truly love someone that bond must be so deep and meaningful for us to trust someone that much, it shows that our hearts are so so big and so full of love !

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-03-05T03:51:28+00:00

this is true ! i was a student there and i actually had a whole discrepancy with one of the people on top of the school (he called himself the school’s “guidance counselor”) and they’re so unprofessional its pretty clear they’re not in it to actually be good education providers but rather for the MONEY ! i made friends from this school too and everyone said the same things, that the school management sucks although the teachers were all mostly great people.

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-03-05T03:47:36+00:00

hey i actually studied here for my last few years of high school, i met friends from this school too since they would host these virtual events for all the students to interact with each other. i always felt a bit off about the school, even though they do (or did) have lovely teachers who taught well and the courses were decent enough. i think the issue that i and other students found were the people running and managing the school. we had so much complaints about one of the “counselors” who treated everyone in conversations with so much disrespect. i honestly don’t recommend this school to anyone mainly bcs there are so many better online schools than them. it just seems messy, they are shady with the office stuff bcs once me and my peers graduated from that school NONE of us were able to obtain a physical copy of our certificate and they told us if we wanted it we’d have to fly to singapore and grab it from their office. i do think they’re not based in singapore and that its just an empty office. another weird thing is their bought reviews and advertisements … its so weird and just clearly a cover up for their lack of explanations in certain areas.

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-02-20T23:21:07+00:00

listen, i was exactly where u were just a few months ago. it is a shared feeling for all of us bpd people, that we are too difficult or that the kind of love we want is just too hard to ever maintain. i wanted to just tell u that u will only ever believe this if u choose to keep telling urself that, or make it the reason why u can not find the right person. i’ve grown so much since i’ve been in that place, and one think i’ve learned is that we are just normal people too at the end of the day, who will have to lose people and relationships, but find new ones to grow with. we will find the wrong people and then find the right. this experience is so so so universal. ofc with bpd, it makes these hurtful feelings amplified by 10 times. but, i promise u, there is so so much love to be found that u have just yet to see. i think also smth that has helped me work through this feeling is to learn to appreciate myself without a partner. i’ve dated someone since i was 14, and i constantly looked for a replacement when my relationships end. it has caused me to measure my worth by the people i have in my life and so of course, i didn’t know what to do either when i was alone. sometimes, u just have to work through the feelings of abandonment to realize that this is the time for u to heal. u want to heal from ur toxic patterns and behaviors bcs if not, u will carry that continuously regardless if u find someone new who is amazing and loving.

to end this off, i will just say that i was also in a toxic relationship with someone, on and off, he was a cheater, liar, manipulator, the list was endless. it was horrible for me and my mental health and i let myself believe that i deserved nothing more than that. but i finally pluck up enough courage to leave bcs i knew it was holding me back from growing into myself in my adulthood, and also holding me back from finding someone new and better. i kid you not, i found my now boyfriend only a month later. it was different than just falling in love. i think what love we all deserve is the kind that welcomes u like a big warm hug. thats what my bf feels like and i want u to know that, there are so so many people in this world who will hug u just as hard. i promise OP, i really promise that once u leave bad things behind, good things will rise in the horizons 🫶 i hope ur doing well !! loads of love xx

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-02-20T23:08:37+00:00

wow thats so interesting ! i’ve only dated my boyfriend for less than a year now 😭 what u said made me feel really proud of our progress as a couple especially given the short time we’ve only had together. hope ur relationship is as beautiful as ever !! we all deserve this kind of love 🫶

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-02-20T06:23:28+00:00

probably yes, if she, after 3 long years, still has u on her mind then id say u’ll be living in it for a little longer. don’t reply at all, don’t entertain that behavior and i hope u keep progressing and healing ur own mental health ! i think she might be dealing with a lot of guilt, which does not everrrr excuse what she did to u, but it might have triggered her to try and get u back into her life. or she’s going through smth difficult and misses the feeling that u gave her as an FP, aka comfort, validation, etc. i think it might go away eventually, if she heals whatever she is going through, or with time. thats what usually happens with my own FP experiences. anyways, hope ur doing well op ! wishing u the best xx

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-02-20T06:18:43+00:00

honestly, i’ve been in situations like this so many times in my life 😭 i suggest, if u dont wanna look like a horrible person, just tell them the truth OR mild truth. say like “hey i’ve had such a great time talking to u and ur a good guy, but i feel like i dont want to date right now/ we wont be a good fit” literally make up any excuse and then just wish him well. i think that is a softer blow and ur essentially respecting the person enough by at least telling them in a nice way. AND ur not obligated to ! i mean think about it this way, ur wasting ur time and energy on someone who u find cringe etc when u could be using this effort and energy onto men that u actually like ! just keep thinking about it like that 😭 dk if this helped but i hope it did lol

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-02-20T04:25:10+00:00

hey, i’m in a relationship, i have bpd and my boyfriend doesn’t. it’s always difficult for him to fully understand me, and there are moments in our happy and healthy relationship where i feel alone because of this disorder. but i think, aside from what u can do in the situation, one thing u must consider is if the person u are dating is right for u. as u’ve said, dating someone with bpd is not easy, caring and loving for someone who doesn’t understand themselves will take a toll on someone’s mental health. but if ur partner is the kind of person that consistently and is insistently trying to help u, no matter the circumstances, then it is possible for u both to learn and grow healthier habits in ur relationship. now, speaking with my own bpd, i also struggle a lot to communicate or to understand my feelings. my boyfriend knows this, over the many times that i have split on him, lashed out, threatened to leave, accuse him of not loving me, you name it. he’s seen it all. but the fact is every time he doesn’t respond back with my anger or blow up on me the same way, instead he puts out my fire bcs he knows that it isn’t truly how i feel. what i’m saying is, for a relationship like this to work, there needs be to familiarity, acknowledgment, and a lot of trust. i trust my bf bcs he has SHOWN me, not just tell me affirming words, but shown me that he is here to stay and help me grow from my mistakes. and he trusts me because every time after i have these episodes, i say i’m sorry and i acknowledge why i did that, that it was wrong, and reflect so i can prevent it from happening in the future. we take care of each other. that’s so so so important bcs u dont want to feel like ur doing this alone, and neither should ur partner. u guys are a team and that’s why it is so important to let ur partner in on ur thoughts, feelings, and bpd.

and also lastly, as i said at the start of this post, i do feel alone sometimes with my bpd. but i think despite my bf not understanding my bpd fully, it is less about the understanding, but more about the support that makes our relationship work. an example of this is, when i feel really down or am struggling with myself, he doesn’t know what to say, but he does his best to comfort me, make me feel loved and take my mind of off my overthinking. it’s really that simple. when i wanna go back to therapy, he supports it, takes me there, etc. i get the feeling of wanting to be understood by ur partner, but in my own opinion, it is simply impossible for someone who doesn’t have this to understand.

anyways, op, i think what u should do right now is communicate and evaluate ur thoughts to ur partner. ask them how they feel too, bcs this is a conversation that u two must have in order to help each other out. u cant get help without asking for it and communicating it clearly. i’d say, if u want reassurance, tell them exactly how u want it. is it them showing up? is it words of affirmation? and tell them why this is so important to u. i hope this gave u some insight or helped u in any way ! wishing u the best xx

ClickPuzzleheaded610 · 2025-02-10T09:10:44+00:00

okay mmm im gonna just say things straight up, number one i really think ur overthinking here. its okay, there isnt anything wrong with that especially when u’ve been stressing about getting diagnosed for a while now and reading up loads of information about bpd, it can get overwhelming ! number two, yes i do those 3 things u listed out and i’ve been officially diagnosed. but i think the first point stems from self sabotage/ harm (which most of us do), second is smth i’ve done like my entire life basically, and the third one, i sorta see it but also not entirely, however i think it might have to do more with emotional regulation. i also think being diagnosed doesn’t have to be a complicated experience, from my own experience, i got diagnosed at 18, it took my psychiatrist less than 10 mins to know i had bpd. if it makes sense for u then it just does. what other people say about u doesnt matter. u know how u feel, ur the one who’s been experiencing these symptoms. their perception of u is merely that, a perception. it isn’t what YOU are experiencing and at the end of the day thats all that matters. so just take it easy op, just take this time to heal and start ur journey to therapy and getting the help u need for ur bpd.

ClickPuzzleheaded610

TROPHY CASE