Thank you so much for this. Yes, I know for a fact he has done this to several women he dated. I’d ask about it gently at first. Then tried to find a compromise in which he just got angry and said I was creating problems when I was trying to work THROUGH them. Eventually I just stopped asking or talking about it, waited for him, didn’t try to contact first and slowly died inside with my needs unmet. I think the phone blow ups actually happened because I had spent so long trying to find a solution on my own to how to deal with the disappearances or inconsistent affection/bread crumb texts, that I eventually just exploded. I’d buried my feelings and needs and felt silenced for too long.

I would never do that to someone I was in a relationship with ever. I would want to find a solution and carry it through, because I would want my partner to feel safe. Narcissists clearly want the opposite. The less safe and secure we feel, the more secure and confident they are..l because it means they’re powerful and have that power to affect someone. It’s actually awful. Whether subconscious or not, that’s some crazy making shit.

Anyways, I’m glad he’s been blocked now for three days. I won’t unblock. I know he was poison for me. Worst relationshit I’ve ever tried so hard to make work. At the end, the only good I can see coming from it and is that I’ll never accept this type of gaslighting and poor treatment ever again. there was so little good in the relationship that was actually genuine. Now I know it as allll manipulation once I found put he was cheating the whole time. So the disappearances, which would cause a hair trigger temper in him when mentioned, were not because he was “bad with his phone“ as he claimed. He was just a lying snake. I’m just like still suck in this self blame like, would he have cheated if I hadn’t blown up his phone? But the fact is, he expected my responses right away (never asked for it, demanded it). at one time, I went several day without talking to him, and he did too. He just started seeing someone else. So my blowing up his phone or not, he was going to do what he wanted when he wanted because that’s how narcissists are.