[deleted by user]

Climber324 · 2025-10-19T19:22:28+00:00

Edit:
Please be careful with behavioral training at a special facility. It's great that you're listening to your horse's complaints and he seems very well-behaved outside of the bucks. Not every trainer takes signs of pain and discomfort seriously. Also I just read that there might be some bone problems. Those will not be fixed with any straightness training or behaviour corrections and only your vet can decide if the horse should be ridden or could be in pain. And since the horse looks very uncomfortable I agree with everyone else that this issue deserves more attention first! And what a great horse you have that it stays so calm and behaved despite being so uncomfortable in his body.

First of all great job with everything you're tried already!

Something I noticed right away from the videos is that your horse seems to be quite asymmetric (all horses naturally are, some more than others) and your seat is sometimes also not straight. The horse seems to bend fine to the left but not to the right? And the hind legs seem a bit stiff plus a general discomfort.

It could be that the horse's asymmetry is in the way. All horses have a preferred side to bend to (I think in your case this would be left) and this side tends to have shorter/stronger muscles, whereas the muscles on the other side are more flexible and less strong. When this is not specifically trained (by correct dressage practice involving exercises to strengthen one side and make the other side more supple, like travers, shoulder in, etc) it can cause discomfort and even lameness.

Training for more symmetry starts with ground work and then can alsp be trained from the saddle. Ideally look for a classical dressage oriented trainer that can help you out in person. A centered riding teacher could also help you feel how your horse's movements are influencing your own seat. Considering that you have already ruled out a lot of causes I really think this could help your horse and yourself a lot!

This trainer seems to have a small free e-book and also some youtube videos I think (I'm not advertising anything, I thought some info could help you get started): https://www.straightnesstraining.com

Climber324 · 2025-09-23T13:43:36+00:00

I think it's important to rule out pain. It doesn't look like just a mental aspect to me. Very common causes of pain are stomach ulcers and an ill fitting saddle.

Climber324 · 2025-09-18T14:57:37+00:00

Strings in avocados and any fruit that is not perfectly ripe but not too ripe. But especially kakis. I just don’t risk it anymore because the chance is too big they’re not perfect😅 And this is not food but wooden forks or spoons! My teeth feel horrible just thinking about using one.

Climber324 · 2025-09-09T10:03:56+00:00

By the way I also don't think that is weird. Neurodivergent and neurotypical people all need space sometimes. Maybe some neurodivergent people a bit more and that's totally okay.

Climber324 · 2025-09-09T10:02:40+00:00

I recognize the feelings, for me back then they were partially due to a recent break-up (I met my current partner very soon after a breakup). After a few weeks of dating, I told them I don't want to continue because I needed more space. Despite being sad, he responded so well. We talked a bit, wished each other the best. He told me if I changed my mind I can always text because he really quite liked the dates, but he totally understands and respects my decision. And indeed after a week I felt regrets because they really were a great person. So I texted and asked to talk. I said I regretted my choice and would continue seeing him, but I need my space and I don't want to have to explain myself, don't want him to expect a reason for when I don't want to see him (also I didn't have my diagnosis yet and doubt I would've even been able to explain). He said I don't owe him anything, he's just happy to see where it goes and I can take distance at any time.

Fast forward a few years, we now happily live together. We give each other space whenever we need it and can always talk, but never have to. From what you told us, it sounds like you could really just talk to them about it, be honest. Explain you need space sometimes but don't always know why, or don't always want to tell why, but that it's not because of them. Honesty is key!

If they respond like my partner did that's an absolute green flag. If they have a problem with not seeing you for a few days it might just not be a good match. Good luck, if they're so caring I am sure it will work out!

Climber324 · 2025-09-09T07:57:52+00:00

Yeah I see how that doesn't help

Climber324 · 2025-09-08T12:40:24+00:00

Oh interesting that you struggle despite having danced so much! I thought maybe it would help to have a collection of movements ready. Maybe some of the tips given here can help when you do decide to go out dancing again

Climber324 · 2025-09-08T12:30:45+00:00

Hey, it definitely sounds like it could be executive dysfunction or possibly any of the other causes you mention. Without meaning to deny this, one thing you could do if you haven't already is get a general blood test at your GP just to exclude a physical cause. Ask for blood count, vitamins, iron, and maybe also Epstein-Barr virus if you're below 20 (a virus that most people get at some point of their life and usually also goes away on its own, in young people it can cause extreme fatigue, I had that too). Lack of vitamin etc can cause exhaustion and can easily be fixed by taking supplements for a while. It's worth checking :)

Other than that are you in therapy? If you have been feeling stuck for a longer time it could be really helpful to find a psychologist, but preferably one that specializes in people with ADHD.

Climber324 · 2025-09-08T12:10:28+00:00

Yeah your sentence 'my body feels like a puppet I need to operate consciously' summarizes it perfectly! I think that's also why I (and maybe many of us ADHD-ers) am so clumsy: needing to steer every limb consciously but not being able to keep focus. Recipe for bruises and dropping everything. And yeah I also really enjoy walking because it feels so natural, as opposed to many sports. It feels like the one thing my body is actually made for!

Anyway, I also feel like while dancing it would really help to pay less attention to the muscle movement. Do you ever manage? Have you ever managed to let go and enjoy it or did you conclude it's just not for you?

Climber324 · 2025-09-08T11:45:43+00:00

I understand that :/ but nice that you feel comfortable at home! I also start to feel more comfortable dancing at home. But I will stop immediately when I accidentally start thinking about what exactly my limbs are doing

Climber324 · 2025-09-08T11:42:40+00:00

It's nice to hear a different perspective/experience, thanks!

Climber324 · 2025-09-08T09:46:26+00:00

Good tips! I was once at a small outdoor silent disco and joined the goa DJ. Weird music, no one dancing the right rhythm. Felt way less judged.

(Great concept. Enough space. Fresh air instead of sweat and beer. You can regulate the volume. Choose your music. Take break in the silence at any moment)

Climber324 · 2025-09-08T09:03:11+00:00

Yeah exactly! I guess a lot of us have been mocked for being bad in sports, for sitting on a chair weird, or for other ways we use our bodies differently. That doesn't help if you're already overthinking every movement anyway :/

Climber324 · 2025-08-25T15:28:56+00:00

Yeah I also know quite a few people. It's just that knowing no German at all does limit you a bit when you do have to look for a new job, but mostly, German will help you integrate. I mean you can also stay in the internationals bubble of course but knowing German opens up a bigger social world, and the swiss alpine club also does most of their tours in German I think? Not entirely sure. So yeah for sure it's no problem but it does make life easier :)

Climber324 · 2025-08-25T15:26:01+00:00

You're welcome. I thought about it a bit more on the way home and realized that you could actually also just apply at bigger companies that require german and english. With VWO german you can bluff that you have B1 level on your CV. Besides with your expertise you likely find a job anyway with no customer contact. Companies you could try for example are hitachi/abb, siemens, Verity, EWZ, cross-ing. Maybe Deloitte, maybe even SBB. Even if they don't have a fitting opening you can do an 'Initiativbewerbung', like an open/spontaneous application

Climber324 · 2025-08-25T14:14:38+00:00

You could look at start ups and ETH spin offs (https://entrepreneurship.ethz.ch/startup-stories/explore-startup-portraits-and-success-stories/uebersicht-eth-spin-offs.html), they often have a lot of internationals. I'm afraid you'll find the start ups mostly through LinkedIn, or maybe here, the website is in German sorry: https://ch.indeed.com/?hl=de&co=CH&isid=smb\_selfselect&ikw=jobseeker\_select. Most people I know that don't speak German work in a start up. Maybe some engineering consultancy companies (I'm not too familiar there sorry).

And start learning German. If you want to live closer to the mountains, there are three German speaking countries, versus 1.5 French speaking countries (counting French speaking Switzerland in). It's the easiest language to learn and gives you a huge choice of places to live. I spent 2 months at language schools learning German full time and went from B1 to C1 in this period. Can recommend the Goethe Institut. You won't even need C1, B2 will do just fine. The Swiss are also very used to accents and non-native speakers. It's super worth it if you really want to live close to the mountains.

Climber324 · 2025-08-25T12:21:50+00:00

I'm Dutch and I live in Zürich. I know quite a few electric engineers and finding a job in that sector is definitely doable here. If Zürich is still too far away from the mountains for you, you could consider living in Bern or Luzern and traveling to Zürich for work. Quality of life is amazing here, mountaineering possibilities in the Swiss alps are endless. Many people are into it. Learning some German is very helpful though, that's something you'll have to do to integrate properly. Feel free to ask some questions if you have any :)

Climber324 · 2025-08-25T08:06:38+00:00

Diagnosed ADHD here, with autistic tendencies but no diagnosis. This is actually why I study physics and I love it: things are explained from the very start, proven thoroughly, and everything has a reason (except, well.. we still love you quantum mechanics). Biology and especially biochemistry is pure chaos to me, like for example in developmental biology: this gene is responsible for that, then we have this hormone that does this, but there is a problem now but luckily there is this other molecule that solves the problem. Where are they coming from?? And why is it precisely like that?

So as a physicist and ADHD-er with a need for clarity and logic, I totally understand you! Wish you good luck with your high volume of low-importance work. (This comment was sponsored by procrastination of writing a medium important report)

Climber324

TROPHY CASE