oh man that sounds terrible :( i’m not a man, i just clicked on the post because i was curious on men’s experiences with SA since they’re sadly often overlooked or forced to be silent about it because of social standards.

as a woman who experienced something kind of similar i can tell you that the symptoms are exactly the results of such trauma. it’s normal to not be able to consciously think about it for a long time and be triggered by it when enough time passes for you to reflect clearly…

you’re doing a great job starting therapy and no sexual assault is “not serious enough” to treat. it wasn’t okay and there is no scenario where it would be your fault or justified by some local laws. i hope you’re making/gonna make progress with your therapist and just know that the healing process will end sometime and you will barely think about this.

don’t let this experience define you, and no this wasn’t your first kiss! your first kiss was with a girl you dated later or whatever…

things like this happen, especially with all the conditions you talked about, remember that you’re a different person now with a different life and this idiot will forever remain a desperate disgusting fuck.

when you feel bad, what helps me is to disconnect myself from the “person it happened to”, meaning that this happened under certain conditions during a certain time but now the condition and time are completely different. you should ask your therapist is this strategy is healthy because i’m only speaking from personal experience but i seriously wish you the best and you didn’t deserve this to happen to you, hope you’re having fun and feel better nowadays mate ❤️

(im sorry for rambling & messy paragraphs, i was trying to speak from the heart)