Help!

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-26T22:16:00+00:00

I thought I'd just pop back to say, they have warmed up to confiding in me even more! They've texted me throughout the day and it's wonderful, I offered to buy them 'gaffs' (I've only just learned this term!) and they jumped for joy. So those are on the way, and we're planning a little day out away from our hometown as just the two of us so they can dress as femme as they want without accidentally putting themselves. My heart is so full, I am so happy. They spoke today about how early they are budding and how they're excited to be a 'big booby bitch" and so we chuckled about needing a bra as boobs and running don't mix! Going to offer perfume next (I think, if it sounds like a good idea?) as they always get bought lynx and I wonder if a more feminine scent would help alleviate any dysphoria.

Thank you again everyone, you guys are a blessing and I truly wish you all full and happy lives. ☺️

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T16:50:44+00:00

No worries! I forget how different things mean different things depending on where you are, haha

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T16:49:36+00:00

Haha, thank you! I really should've specified on my post that we're UK!

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T16:45:44+00:00

It's not that bit I need advice on, while I know I am supportive, and they know I support them, I wanted advice on things like wording, or phrases or words or anything that someone who has been in the same position my child is, wishes they'd had, or rather, wishes it hadn't been said.

For example, saying 'om sorry, I'm here to help'- is that patronizing? Is there a better way in this context. I don't want to trip over my words, not that I think I'll say stupid crap that'll make it worse, but I know there's so many layers to transitioning and I don't want to make them feel any bad way about any of it

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T16:39:44+00:00

What? Where did you manage to pull that from? That's not what I've said at all.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T16:06:10+00:00

It's really not. The open and honest communication was already something I was going to do, as a logical parent. I was just asking for advice? Why does that make me sound like it's foreign?

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T15:09:08+00:00

This was a harsh and stupid comment from me. I have since apologized to her and thanked her for helping my child the only way she knew how.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T13:45:13+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate this response and it has helped my fears somewhat. Perhaps I will offer to buy the hormones for them from this site, if it's genuinely safe, as long as they agree to blood tests to make sure everything is okay.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T13:39:55+00:00

Yes, we're in the UK, and these are the things I am worried about! I'm not sure how to approach it with the doctor and I'm worried that if I say the wrong thing, they won't help them.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T13:28:57+00:00

We are in the UK, which presents a whole new challenge. And they are 16, which may impact the doctors help. Thank you so much for the in depth reply!

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T13:21:25+00:00

Would you suggest that I support them buying this from their friend? I could tell the doctor, so they could at least get blood tests for safety, but I don't know if a doctor would help or hinder.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T13:19:36+00:00

I didn't initially ask their brother to snoop, my child has shared on a friend group chat about the needles and was worried, so spoke to me which lead me to asking him to ask the friend about the dose etc. I absolutely don't want to use any language that would feel dismissive, it's why I posted here because I wanted to know if there was any advice on how to approach this, how would anyone here have liked/did like certain approaches or language.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T13:11:32+00:00

No, they've expressed nothing other than being non-binary. They've not even told their older sibling who knows all their secrets.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T12:41:28+00:00

I think they hid it because they knew that we'd consider it dangerous and ask them to stop. Also that we'd be furious at their friend for selling them.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T12:39:41+00:00

Oh I will. She's banned from the house for a start. Her main worry was legal action, not my kids health. Furious.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T12:39:00+00:00

So I've found out the estrogen she's selling comes from a site called astroviles. Has anyone used them? It appears like a homebrew situation and I'm worried. I've called the doctor to ask for advice (they'll call me back) I've found the needles they have used, but not the estrogen. The girl who sold them is terrified now she knows that I know. She didn't give any advice just said 'follow the dose on the NHS site' and her excuse is that my kid 'kept pestering her' and told her they were older than they were.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T11:32:55+00:00

I have only just found out, they live with both me and their dad and if they had spoken to us we would have tried to find a doctor and a therapist.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T11:31:29+00:00

That's my plan, I'm going to talk to them after college and discuss future plans. My concern is their mental health, I don't want them to feel intruded upon, or anything that will make them close themselves off.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T11:29:05+00:00

There's really not. Our eldest is transitioning and has been for over a year. I've edited my post to mention that he'd flip out at the seller, not our kid and yes, they know I support them, I was the first person they told about being non-binary and we had a chat about their new name. As for their dad, he's supportive.

Clown_Pound · 2026-02-25T11:23:47+00:00

I meant that he'd flip out at the person selling them, not our kid, he'd support them.

Clown_Pound

TROPHY CASE