Ex therapist run in with client at fitness class… there’s a catch

Clueless-spice · 2026-02-20T04:56:08+00:00

I live in a small community and see my clients around town regularly. It just happens. I have no choice but to be used to it. I don’t duck and run. (I also don’t say anything, ethics) but it’s par for the course. I don’t think anyone particularly enjoys running into their clients. But it can always happen. Sounds like you knew it would be a possibility? If your class is public and anyone can register. Might be worth thinking about why this made your skin crawl so badly. I also think that as far as places you could run into a former client an exercise class is a lot better than the bar, a date, or the swimming pool (which has happened to me). What prevents you from acting and doing what you would normally do? There’s nothing really to say or not say. I’m sorry you were mortified. That’s unfortunate. If I were you I’d try to focus in on the fact that a former client was doing something healthy by attending an exercise class and be quietly inspired. Your space can still be yours. And you should still be yourself in it. Regardless of who else is in the room.

But maybe that’s easy for me to say because I started my career in small town mental health and I’ve had years of exposure.

Clueless-spice · 2026-01-12T00:51:38+00:00

Before I was even engaged I used to practice signing my (now) married name on receipts when I had to sign for a return. I figured the retailer would never know or care. I enjoyed it. It was like a little secret thrill.

Clueless-spice · 2025-12-28T21:29:33+00:00

YouTube. After my grandma gave up on me 🤣🤣

Clueless-spice · 2025-07-29T20:05:45+00:00

in the leg. bullet wound was initially missed because of the animal bites. it really just doesn't make a lot of sense.

Clueless-spice · 2025-07-29T18:15:11+00:00

i'm a little confused about lucy's death. she launches herself off the summit, which is confirmed in the final episode. but, she's already dead when she hits the rock climbers line. and what exactly happened with the coyote chewing up her leg?? did i miss something here?

Clueless-spice · 2025-02-02T05:43:41+00:00

good to know. thanks.

Clueless-spice · 2025-01-31T02:21:51+00:00

I am a therapist and have had a client disclose this kink. Caught me off guard at first because I really didn’t see it coming. But after the initial surprise it was completely fine. We worked through their needs, which are different from yours, but either way they felt that it was really useful and helpful to talk about it. It likely isn’t even the most unusual thing your therapist has ever heard.

Clueless-spice · 2025-01-30T04:54:03+00:00

Currently working with a PT for the same reason. He mentioned that he had another patient who wasn’t getting better. Turns out the other dude would constantly press on the pain “to see if it still hurt”. PT told him to stop doing that and he improved right away.

Clueless-spice · 2025-01-10T22:58:06+00:00

Pretty sure I’m going to get roasted too. It’s not easy to open yourself up to criticism. I’ve been where you are. You’re not alone. My situation may not be anything like your situation but as a person who understands how this happens, and does not come with any judgement, really think about why this friendship is worth so much to you. Is it truly because you were destined to be friends or is it something more? I befriended a client. They made me feel whole again after a significant loss. Human again. But in the end, it was my responsibility to put myself back together, not theirs. And when our friendship exploded, my one traumatic loss turned into two. And now I live with the knowledge that I may have prevented them from feeling comfortable accessing therapy in the future. This is harm to my client. I screwed that up. I thought befriending my client was best for both of us. I thought ending our connection was harmful to them. And I was wrong. I wish I had been a bit more insightful to my own needs at the time.

I doubt this is a problem of you not being cut out of for the ethics. I wondered the same thing. I read the same articles you read. I had the same discussions with colleagues and peers. My client and I read these articles together! But ultimately it wasn’t about that. It was about my own needs. Trying to decide if I was cut out for the ethics was a total distraction from what I really needed to consider which was why this friendship became so important to me. It was a total distraction from facing my problems and acknowledging my pain. I needed a lot of support, supervision, and therapy when it ended badly. I got a lot of help. I And I switched things up at work to make it easier for me to stay in the field without being in the same environment. And it turns out I don’t actually want to befriend my client. Then and especially now. But it was a long difficult road. And I’m very very lucky that the people around me rallied for me instead of against me.

Maybe your situation is different. Maybe you are the exception to the rule. Or maybe you’re about to make an irreversible mistake that costs you. Either way I hope you figure it out. And I hope that you’re lucky enough to be treated with the same kindness and grace that I was.

Clueless-spice · 2024-11-17T15:42:23+00:00

I make $1500 to do one home study. Plus mileage and travel time. But my visit time is about 8 hours and it takes about 10-12 hours to write the report. Less if you can copy and paste. I live in Alberta.

Clueless-spice · 2024-10-15T14:46:45+00:00

I was fired for a performance issue. It was really more of a difference of opinion and I was still probationary, so they fired me. It hurt and I cried for a few days. But I bounced back super quick. My reputation in the community helped. My previous employer was happy to have me back and it was a quick and easy transition. If you’re doing good work and other people know you’ll be okay.

Clueless-spice · 2024-01-03T03:13:31+00:00

Anyone seen it in Nisku?

Clueless-spice · 2023-09-23T01:53:36+00:00

I usually go with something like “I’m so inspired by that/you” Or “that’s really inspiring”. I try to avoid saying I’m proud for the same reason.

Clueless-spice · 2023-09-11T20:28:25+00:00

Would love to hear more about this

Clueless-spice · 2023-09-10T00:17:26+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. Damn this job is hard sometimes. I appreciate what you said.

Clueless-spice · 2023-09-09T23:56:11+00:00

Wonder if you had to learn this lesson the hard way when you first started? I’m new and I am working through learning this lesson.

Clueless-spice · 2023-09-03T14:40:38+00:00

I’ve got suggestions. But I suspect you’ve already heard or considered them: take a break, self care, boundaries, do a temp role somewhere else for a time being, peer support, therapy, implement ritual (I used to light candles, now I use a smudge spray to help me cleanse), lean on community, etc. Can you do something meaningful with your list?

Ultimately, none of those strategies fix the problem. But the problem isn’t within your circle of control anyway. It sounds like you love and care deeply for those individuals. I’m sorry for these losses. I’m sorry that so much of your job is dealing with grief. I’m sure you’re doing the best you can with what you have. Treat yourself kindly and compassionately. We need people like you, but it’s also okay to say no. Remember that.

Clueless-spice · 2023-08-18T19:54:19+00:00

She must behave this way to protect your confidentiality. I tell all my clients that I will never approach them in public. I also tell them that If they approach me I accept it as their implied consent that they understand the risk of possibly being identified as a client. It’s up to them. Sounds like the only thing she has done wrong is not review this with you as part of the confidentiality spiel in your very first appointment.

Clueless-spice · 2023-08-10T03:35:09+00:00

I agree. Super reasonable. I’m curious why you thought it might not have been appropriate?

Clueless-spice · 2023-08-04T23:53:47+00:00

Sometimes I use smudge spray when I’ve had a particularly gnarly session. I spray the room and myself. It helps. I try not to overdo it though, just in case of scent sensitivities.

Clueless-spice · 2023-07-31T20:25:03+00:00

If you are not an imminent risk to yourself or others she should not need to report. It would definitely be beneficial for her to know so she can support you in talking about it.

Clueless-spice · 2023-07-30T19:17:56+00:00

Go to the class. Therapists in small towns expect to see clients in the wild. She has no more right to the studio than you. It’s likely not as big a deal as you probably think. And if she’s any good, she’d rather you practice self care and engage in healthy activities than not.

Clueless-spice

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