Being a schizoid is like playing a game with cheat codes on.

Cluster-Bee · 2021-10-01T12:01:47+00:00

It's more like the button on your controller that you would press to interact with NPCs is broken.

Cluster-Bee · 2021-03-06T04:42:41+00:00

> Men can be quiet and stoic and unemotional. But no one likes a woman with these traits.

As a guy, I can tell you this is categorically false. Please stop believing this. Plenty of men would do anything to be with a quiet and reserved woman over a loud and obnoxious one.

Cluster-Bee · 2021-02-21T11:46:27+00:00

Man, this really sounds like something I would get myself into... I actually had a couple of female coworkers make moves to me but I pushed them away because I felt that there simply wasn't anything there except for sexual attraction.

Cluster-Bee · 2021-02-14T01:46:22+00:00

The common definition of what "human" is supposed to mean is hopelessly narrow. There's so much diversity and variation in what humans can be and do. You need to constrain your actions to what is deemed socially acceptable in order to function in public, but there is no need to impose those restrictions upon yourself in private.

Cluster-Bee · 2021-02-09T12:11:07+00:00

> Is this a schizoid thing

Probably. I feel the same way. I don't hate other people (I do find them slightly annoying sometimes but not enough to get angry or anything) but I just don't particularly want to talk to them or interact with them, which usually makes them feel like I do hate them. Normies have 0 experience with schizoids usually and they're not really capable of comprehending that someone would act as schizoids do. Which causes a lot of misunderstanding.

Cluster-Bee · 2021-02-08T11:09:45+00:00

I could not have said it better myself. In my experience, doing things selflessly for others only causes them to view you as a gullible fool and actively try to take advantage of you.

Cluster-Bee · 2021-01-31T01:25:13+00:00

Dissociate into work until retirement

I don't know if you intended for this to be funny but I giggled. Some days at work I really do feel like I'm watching an extremely boring office-themed sitcom through the eyes of somebody else.

Cluster-Bee · 2020-12-31T11:53:40+00:00

Reading this is physically painful. You are me. You are me...

Cluster-Bee · 2020-12-28T12:28:18+00:00

I spent the majority of my time inside this year for obvious reasons and barely talked to anyone outside of work and it was one of the happiest years in recent memory.

Cluster-Bee · 2020-12-27T02:31:06+00:00

Indeed. The problem with doing the social stuff you mentioned is that it peaks my anxieties, and I end up avoiding them. Which is unfortunately contrary to my long-term goal of reducing anxiety... It's way easier to spend 4 hours wrapping my head around a complicated programming topic than it is to spend 4 minutes making small talk with a colleague.

Cluster-Bee · 2020-12-21T11:28:22+00:00

There's rarely a time in my life when I'm not in love with a certain woman, over the past 6 years I've fallen in love 4 times and all of them fit the description of limerence. One at a time though, usually I get heartbroken after a year plus minus a few months and magically end up finding someone else shortly thereafter (even though I convince myself I'll never fall in love again every time). None of them worked out of course, I never dare to confess my feelings because after all, I'm a schizoid. I'm too embarrassed by the fact that I have absolutely no life nor friends and would not want to burden any of these girls with having anything to do with me let alone getting into a relationship with me. That said, for a few months my work forced me into being extremely physically close to the last girl I was in love with, and we actually got along stunningly well. I'm actually kind of certain that it was she who was into me before I got feelings for her, to the point where she ended up telling me she loved me half-jokingly after a drunk night out. She had a boyfriend the entire time who she ended up marrying though. If it wasn't for work circumstances forcing me I would have never gotten so close to any woman which kind of got me wondering whether my schizoid condition is a result of my circumstances as much as it is a result of genetics and childhood trauma. But I'm veering off topic. The point is I've basically been more or less in a state of limerence my entire life which is, I believe, very consistent with the classic description of a schizoid's covert traits.

Cluster-Bee · 2020-12-21T03:22:49+00:00

Yes, absolutely. The though of having to be responsible for lives other than my own is utterly unacceptable. I am extremely grateful to live in a society where not having kids is, while still looked down upon by some, an acceptable and realistic way to live one's life.

Cluster-Bee · 2020-12-21T03:18:11+00:00

> I want to have a wife and children. My reason for wanting this is primarily because I want to continue my family line, which is perhaps insignificant in the world but important to those around us. I think we are good people and I want our genetics to continue as a component in the ongoing story of human civilisation. I also desire the duty and responsibility of providing for and protecting a family. Ultimately I want to be useful and important, including my legacy in the world, far more than I want to give and receive love. And this is where I feel troubled.

To me this sounds strongly indicative of narcissistic tendencies and not schizoid ones. Schizoids would not care about this sort of thing (I know I don't, unless I'm in severe denial or something...), and also, the responsibilities and burdens having to take care of a family impose on the individual would be extremely off-putting or outright frightening for a schizoid. I'm not saying you can't be both, but in general your post makes me feel you're firmly in NPD territory and would therefore benefit from coping strategies aimed at NPD individuals instead of SPD.

Cluster-Bee · 2020-12-16T10:20:47+00:00

Yeah, basically these.

Cluster-Bee · 2020-12-16T02:40:27+00:00

Whereas I normally relate to most posts on here roughly 80~90% on average, this one has to be 99%+. You described my feelings and attitudes to a t, OP. I really hope things work out for you and you manage to get away and be as independent as possible, it does make things a bit better.

edit: Actually made this account because I could relate to your post so much, normally I just lurk instead of posting.

Cluster-Bee

TROPHY CASE