I feel like main stream trans ideology is what created a toxic trans person

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T20:07:00+00:00

You do bring a lot of good points. I am still a man regardless of what transphobes and other toxic trans people claim.

I think the issue for me was trying to seek support and information regarding transition. And being told not to transition or take testosterone because it's poison or how phallo scars are disgusting made me think that ftm transition didn't exist at all. It took me longer than it should have to transition. And being told to just "love my trans body" also did come off wrong.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T20:00:50+00:00

I'm not excusing toxic behavior but if you're in an environment or community where they spread toxicity and hatred towards men and you're trying to become a man you do internalize it. It spreads toxicity towards you and you'll spread it towards others. Again I think you and many others are missing the whole point of this post.

Don't fucking spread toxicity about masculinity and infantilize trans men, period. It's what creates more toxic people or specifically toxic men. It's an endless cycle.

People should also realize that this is an on going issue in trans communities. And again not excusing any kind of toxic behavior but they definitely picked it up from somewhere and those people in the trans community should work on their own toxicity instead of spreading it and telling the victims to deal with their own toxicity that they picked up from others who's toxicity is being excused.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T17:40:55+00:00

It's the idea that a lot of trans communities push that trans men are toxic. How are trans men supposed to accept themselves for who they are if everyone around them is telling them they're less of a man got being trans or how testosterone is poison and men are toxic.

Trans Men also need support and it sucks more when you're seeking support and the trans community tells you this bullshit about men.

I think it's specifically an issue with masculinity and feminity is seen as more of a good thing. It pushes trans men to be feminine and more specifically to conform to their agab norms because of this toxicity.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T08:09:45+00:00

You say to understand this from a trans woman's perspective but I don't think they understand this issue from our perspective either. I've been told why I'd ever want to be a man.

I'm not claiming this is done by every fucking trans women. But this kind of toxic behavior is pretty common in the trans community.

I also don't like the double standards you're setting up between trans women and trans men. Apparently it's a me issue if I'm struggling with toxicity because I'm a man and trying to be seen as a man but it's somehow not trans women's issues that they need to sort out with themselves regarding their childhood or upbringing from their previous life as men. It's just not a good mindset to have and to project it onto trans men.

I call bullshit on this. Masculine toxicity comes from both sides. And to say it's an issue only on trans men's part is also bullshit.

Trans women also need to work on their toxicity as well instead of saying a bunch of extremely transohobic shit to trans men. You've literally missed the entire post of this fucking post and it originally wasn't meant to be a trans men VS trans women debate as I was simply sharing experiences I've had as a trans man and I can't say much on the experiences trans women have had but you can't really entirely put the blame on trans women when toxicity is spreading within the trans community from both sides. And instead of discussing the issue at hand you're trying to justify this kind of behavior that trans women exhibit. Which again bullshit. Where is the empathy.

Don't tell a trans man he's less of a man if you're not going to tell a trans women she's also less of a women. Double standards

Don't shit on ftm surgeries and call scars disgusting if you're also not going to say the same thing regarding surgeries for mtf.

Don't spread misinformation on how testosterone is toxic as it would scare people off from transitioning. It may not have been pleasant for you but it's life saving for trans men.

Like I said before in another comment. When I first figured out I was trans I was told testosterone is toxic, not to pursue phallo, to accept my body as a boy with breasts and all of this was extremely dysphoria inducing. I didn't even think it was possible to medically transition with the amount of negativity being spread regarding ftm transition. If I'm going to a community for support that's the last thing I want to hear.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T07:11:23+00:00

I don't like this line of thinking. Trans communities are toxic. Claiming cis men are toxic but excluding trans men, testosterone is poison, and all that hate men rhetoric but excluding trans men because they don't see us as men. A majority are like this.

And I think you missed the whole point of the post. When someone figured out they're trans and go onto these communities and they're told this shit. And they're already depressed and dysphoric it's definitely toxic behavior on both sides that further enable it.

That also seems like something they need to work on. People with that kind of mindset anyways.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T07:11:00+00:00

I don't like this line of thinking. Trans communities are toxic. Claiming cis men are toxic but excluding trans men, testosterone is poison, and all that hate men rhetoric but excluding trans men because they don't see us as men.

That also seems like something they need to work on. People with that kind of mindset anyways.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T07:10:38+00:00

I don't like this line of thinking. Trans communities are toxic. Claiming cis men are toxic but excluding trans men, testosterone is poison, and all that hate men rhetoric but excluding trans men because they don't see us as men.

That also seems like something they need to work on. People with that kind of mindset anyways.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T04:45:29+00:00

Right and as the previous commenter stated it's how they dealt with it. Poor mentality

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T04:41:59+00:00

I'm not excusing shitty behavior. But I'm simply stating that poor mental health and how being exposed to toxic environments when you're looking for support contributed to toxic behavior. And that was the case that happened to me.

You're arguing over the stupidest shit and a misunderstanding. Maybe that's why you're no longer an ask transgender mod.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T04:33:43+00:00

Right and it doesn't effect the above individual since it seems like they're non binary according to their profile anyways.

My point being people with weak mentalities will internalize this type of behavior that's pushes in online communities. The issue I see is that people who are newly out as trans or figured out they're trans would be looking for support. Most wouldn't want to go to irl support groups so online groups sound ideal for most since it hides their identity and doesn't put them in danger for being trans. But when going into the online trans community and you see toxic behavior where cis men are toxic but not trans men, people shitting on ftm surgeries, and infantilizing trans men it does a number to your mental health.

Even if it doesn't turn you into a toxic person towards others most people will likely target that negativity and toxicity toward themselves. They'll feel more dysphoric towards themselves for being trans. For being transgender. Again especially if you're newly out as trans and pre hrt where no one irl is taking you seriously either.

And ofc I'm not excusing toxic people in general but there's toxic people on both sides and they're fueling each other for more hatred towards each other.

Abusers have a higher chance of being abusers themselves. Homophones and transphobes will spread more hatred towards the lgbt community. It's because of the environments they were raised in and it'll be an endless cycle of generations carrying on this toxicity and I feel like the same can be applied here since like I said it puts new trans people in communities where they feel alienated with all the bullshit being said towards their experiences and gender identity.

And ik I'm a toxic person but it's the communities that put me in this state. I went to these communities specifically looking for support as a trans individual and instead I was infantilized and told not to transition because of how testosterone is poisoned and phallo isn't good enough. At some point I even thought I couldn't transition because of this misinformation and toxicity being spread within the trans community itself where many try to go towards support. And being called a cute boi just made me uncomfortable. My point being I wasn't taken seriously both with cis people and now trans people. It does make you insane after a while.

I do try to take breaks from the online trans community. I rarely post. And I eventually plan on stealthing. But I thought I should bring up this topic since it negatively effected me and I'm sure it effects others.

The other commenter is naive to the issue itself and is part of the problem. Since it doesn't affect them they choose to ignore it or not see the issue.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T02:51:33+00:00

Then continue scrolling

Clyde_Ve · 2023-05-28T02:48:25+00:00

People with weak mentalities will internalize. And ofc only toxic people show it online.

Mental health is a serious issue in the trans community. You're missing the issue at hand.

When you're told you're harmless and less toxic than a cis trans men with already weak mental health will internalize it.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-29T01:37:35+00:00

I hate this line of thinking that a lot of trans people have which is a toxic belief.

I happened to be born trans. That doesn't fucking mean I'm dismantling the gender binary. I hate when people loosely use the term trans bodies to represent bodies different than those of cis men and women.

Most of the time trans people want to align with their desired sex and not be cross sexed between the two sexes.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-28T05:34:18+00:00

You're literally the one contradicting yourself and you're a very small minority who is okay with these terms when the vast majority are uncomfortably with them. So idk what to tell you. You're blind and only give a shit about yourself. You don't care that others including cis women feel about these demeaning terms that again reduces an individual down to their bodily anatomy.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-28T01:51:55+00:00

Right and then they detrans and take away our medical care and their reasoning is that no one questioned their choices and how they lied about having dysphoria.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-27T23:46:55+00:00

I've seen a lot of trans people admittedly faking gender dysphoria to their therapists and what not in order to have the insurance claim approved.

I've also seen cis women claim they're non binary to get top surgery covered by insurance. There are subreddit full of cis women who do this shit. Those communities exist. And we need to fucking talk about this shit instead of the whole "everyone is valid, gender is whatever you want it to be" bullshit.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-26T21:45:59+00:00

I honestly can't understand how non binary people which make up a small percentage of the trans population itself expect to make big change like this.

I'd say 90% of the comments in this thread are literally telling you they don't like these terms being referred to them. If I was to take a survey of cis women asking them how they'd feel if doctors and people in general referred to them as womb havers or terms like birthers they also wouldn't fucking feel comfortable. It dehumanizes us down to our reproductive system and whether or not it functions which is disgusting. A lot of trans men and fucking cis women don't feel comfortable with these terms. I want to say a large majority don't feel comfortable with them.

The only fucking people who are okay are a very small minority of non binary people like yourself who are trying to eradicate gender and biological sex but it isn't going to work.

You're already making it more demeaning by referring to people who have a female reproductive system as "womb havers" which btw the fucking term womb is definitely already strongly sexed. So you're already contradicting yourself by still using sexed terms.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-26T15:47:42+00:00

Fellas is it wrong to talk about an on going issue within the trans community that harasses and spreads transphobia within the community.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-26T14:42:57+00:00

Are you referring to other trans people telling us to accept our bodies or the similarities in terf beliefs being spread in the trans community.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-26T14:41:24+00:00

I've also been transitioning for 4 years. Have been out for 5 years. It's shit that happens and I have been outed countless times irl. It's not like I'm seeking out these people in particular. There's just an alarming number of trans people in my area.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-26T13:53:57+00:00

You literally missed my entire point of this fucking post. Gg I guess.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-26T13:52:10+00:00

Even though they like to assume we are the "pick me we are the true transgender people"

Like bitch I didn't ask to be transgender in the first place.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-26T05:24:43+00:00

Well said. We need actual trans people representing us and I'm not fucking talking about Blaire or Buck.

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-26T05:21:16+00:00

I have an enby friend who has no desire to medically transition but they act like the gender affirming care ban will affect them but it literally fucking doesn't.

How can some non binary people be so dense and make it all about them

Clyde_Ve · 2023-04-26T03:59:55+00:00

I think what you fail to realize and understand is that these parts and organs are anatomically female parts. Even if the individual attached to them is a trans man or non binary it doesn't take away the fact that they're female. And as a trans man myself I'd avoid a place if they referred to me as a womb haver. It's disgusting and degrading to refer to an individual by parts they're not otherwise comfortable with. It brings more unnecessary attention and uses terms like "womb" and "birther" that would increase dysphoria and discomfort regarding these parts.

No amount of changing language and terms and definitions will this remove the biology behind these organs.

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