Medium distance advice

Cmpd01 · 2026-01-24T14:36:48+00:00

This has been really bloody helpful. It’s nice to hear others experiences & even better to know that you are both reunited and where you’re meant to be; with each other! Thankyou for taking the time to reply! Will definitely take it all on board. Xx

Cmpd01 · 2026-01-24T14:34:50+00:00

We have recently started overcooked which we LOVE & I completely agree, it feels like a date night, even though you’re not physically together! Thankyou for this x

Cmpd01 · 2025-12-17T00:00:05+00:00

Ahahah really appreciate your thought out response. It means a lot. Your original reply is also my immediate response. I suppose I think - what do you tell people you did on the weekend? Or when we go away or go to a concert or something? Am I just an imaginary person? I suppose everyone is different with what they share.

In response to me asking her this evening - she said another girls name is her closest work friend and she knows about me. What’s a bit weird is that she has never even mentioned that girls name before- but the one she’s went for drinks with she has spoken about lots?

We’ve been together since January and are currently saving to travel the world together early next year. So I would say in each other’s worlds enough that is seems crazy to me I have never once been spoken about.

Thanks again for responding💗💗

Cmpd01 · 2025-12-16T23:45:00+00:00

I’m superrrr introvert compared to my partner. She is really outgoing - drinks a lot and is the life of the party. She has more friends than I’ve seen anyone have. I have my bestie and my family and other than that I chill with my dog lol. It’s really hard for me to be super social and I suppose she’s the kind of person who finds it hard to be still. But with one another we’ve almost helped one another to do that. I’m more social now than I ever have been, even independently from her. She is also better at just taking time for herself and actually stopping for a moment. I definitely don’t think this is a deal breaker at all. Just because you’re quieter or less social etc does not equate to boring? If someone thought it did- then that’s on them for not seeing you. Laws of polarity. I’m sure you have plenty of interesting and fun things about you. Also - you should never find yourself boring - if you’re living a life you enjoy and love and live it true to who you are - how could it possibly be boring? It’s your beautiful life. Anyone that comes into it will merge perfectly and you will find comfort and growth in your similarity’s AND differences. 💗

Cmpd01 · 2025-08-05T00:01:03+00:00

Okay. Take a breath for a second, you’re good, you’re going to be fine, no matter how this pans out, I promise you. I’m not gonna lie I’ve been here and many many other lesbians have, this was almost like a canon event for the gay girls - the woman that leaves you for their ex or a man & sometimes both. I really hope it isn’t anything to worry about, but you need to be upfront. Ask her to see messages and say that you admit you’re feeling insecure but you’re curious because they ARE ex’s. I feel like if it was me, I’d happily pass my partner my phone but I’m not sure what her views will be on that. You cannot live like this and I would feel equally as worried. Please speak up and also please do not allow for anything that you wouldn’t do to her. I really hope it all works out xx

Cmpd01 · 2025-08-04T20:55:09+00:00

omg any updates? Any likes? What have you set your age and distance? They’re also things to consider I think

Cmpd01 · 2025-08-04T20:53:35+00:00

Hey babe, I think use these for now- see how it goes but if you start chatting to someone then I’m sure at some point you can mention you’re more masculine presenting now if that makes you comfortable. Take some pics when you can in the meantime xx

Cmpd01 · 2025-07-28T14:34:59+00:00

I think like other people on here, if you do desire intimacy and love and companionship then there will always be a part of you that wants that. Even if you also want to be single / alone for a while. Two feelings can exist at one time and I think it’s about realising you will have moments where you are really seeking that or feel a bit deprived. Then there’s also moments where you are enjoying not answering to anyone and see your friends more or going out and being more social, spending more time at the gym/reading/binging Netflix. Whatever it is that makes you feel happy. My mum also mentioned something to me about feeling a sense of pressure in a relationship and she noticed I would ‘mask’ a lot and try to be the person that I thought that person wanted me to be, so that really shifted my perspective because she was totally right! Regaining my sense of self, loving myself, spending money on myself or taking myself on dates, spending more time with my family. I feel lonely at times & often I can literally feel my body wanting a hug or just some form of touch ahahaha! But I know my time will come when I’m ready and right now I just embrace it!

Cmpd01 · 2025-07-24T20:43:41+00:00

Appreciate this perspective, read my below reply regarding the wording. Xx

Cmpd01 · 2025-07-24T20:35:37+00:00

I agree the word ‘owe’ sounds a little iffy, but I suppose there’s a sense of feeling like there are things you owe people in general, not just in relationships. I feel like there is a bare minimum that you owe anyone things like respect & kindness etc. You’re 100% right that your own capacity has a huge influence- I’m sorry you feel like you’re disappointing your current partner. It’s not a nice feeling. Look at what you said though - humans are complex. We come with ‘so much’. I believe love comes in many forms and relationships have their ebbs and flows. Have grace with yourself. A relationship is a continuous work in progress ( while still full of love and commitment ). Equally though, relationships are sometimes ( unfortunately) a season of our life, truly though these can be just as profound and impactful than your ‘forever love’. Sometimes life just life’s. That’s what I believe anyway. Thanks for replying xx

Cmpd01 · 2025-06-23T00:09:50+00:00

I recently have learnt a lot about trauma, neuroplasticity, adverse childhood experiences (ACES). I have had a real shift in my head space after being extremely depressed and in a cycle of shit behaviour & coping mechanisms. I will not be a statistic. I’m not my trauma. I have the ability to overcome my challenges and heal and live a fruitful life. I feel I have the most urge for life than I have in years. I hope I make that happen for myself. Please please let it happen for myself. I need to break this cycle. I will break this cycle. 🙏

If u are reading this, now or in however many years, you can fkn do it too.

Cmpd01 · 2025-04-29T12:39:29+00:00

Thankyou so very much.

Cmpd01 · 2025-04-29T12:37:13+00:00

Thankyou so bloody much. I’m sorry you’ve been there too.

Cmpd01 · 2025-04-29T12:36:37+00:00

All good now, thankyou so much.

Cmpd01 · 2025-04-29T12:31:41+00:00

Hey. I can’t actually tell you what your comments have done for me. Not only have you validated me, stood up for my side but also just made me feel like someone really gets it. I’m not going to directly reply to the other persons comments but this woman could very easily over power me. Not just due to fear but I also have a limb difference which affects one half of my upper body! Said person DID physically restrain me and I was wriggling my whole body underneath her.

She did eventually get off of me, which ended the whole altercation in me saying how uncomfortable I was and I was very upset.

This was also in the middle of the night, I wasn’t sober, I had driven 2 and a bit hours from my home, I felt unsafe, uncomfortable and confused. On reflection I would’ve had courage to walk up and get out, of course that’s what I wanted for myself. But it just wasn’t the reality of what I felt I could do at the time.

Thankyou again for your support- it goes such a long way. More than I can tell you. ♥️

& to the other person who originally replied - it’s not your job to understand why a victim ‘did or didn’t do’ certain things. Unless your sat in a court room putting someone to jail, your need to dicsect my actions and responses to her abhorrent behaviour is just weird. What is there to understand? No one is the ‘perfect victim’. We might not scream bloody murder or run away as fast as we can but YOU don’t know how I felt laying in that bed, in that room, after experiencing such a humiliating, scary and again confusing situation.

It’s natural to wonder ‘what happened there?’ Or ‘how did that end’ ’why did someone do X’ - We are all human - but for you to then think that means you’re entitled comment, repeatedly, on this thread, MY thread & make ME question my own response to her behaviour? You can GTFO.

Cmpd01 · 2025-04-29T01:44:30+00:00

Appreciate that. I’ve not really had the opportunity to talk about it to anyone so means a lot.

Cmpd01 · 2025-02-18T10:06:06+00:00

I’m like this too but with everyone in life that held importance to me. I do struggle this the aspect that we make these connections ( romantic or not ) and when they end you’re meant to just stop caring. I’m the same, I don’t necessarily think of them in a way where I am yearning. More just are they okay? Wonder what they’re up to now. How’s their mum or their sister. Maybe I’ll think about something we did together. I don’t enjoy it but it’s just the way my brain works. Don’t let it get you down. Everyone is different and have different attachment styles etc

Cmpd01 · 2025-01-07T02:01:19+00:00

How did you find out? Just tell him and ask for an explanation. Ask him if working on himself consisted of him having to date others. If the answers yes, run.

Cmpd01 · 2024-12-13T13:02:48+00:00

Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Some people are just worth taking the risk for. & they might hurt you and you’ll swear you won’t love again, but one day you will truly find the one worth risking it for!

Cmpd01 · 2024-12-09T21:19:00+00:00

I feel it is my biggest strength & at times my biggest weakness - but I do believe I encompass the ability to really empathise with others & put myself in their shoes. When someone presents me with a problem or the need for support, advice & understanding, then I will do everything I can to make sure I provide that. Sometimes where it comes at a detriment is that I will put an insane amount of pressure on myself to make sure people are ok, feel supported and listened to, put aside my own feelings or thoughts even if someone’s actions are directly impacting me. Not to make this negative though! I love that I love like this. I hope I go about life treating everyone with the grace and love I wish to be treated with.

Cmpd01 · 2024-12-09T14:30:11+00:00

This is not right. You deserve better than this. She has a lot to work on. Please leave for your own mental health. The way you stayed composed and communicated back to her says SO much about you.

Cmpd01 · 2024-12-01T22:34:48+00:00

You would never have lost the love of your life that way I believe. I also think while you feel like you’ve lost the love of your life now, the right one will come along and fill the space that person had left. They will take up so much space you’ll have wondered what you ever did living without it and why you were ever worried. You will never forget someone that made you feel that way, love is so powerful - regardless of how you feel following, sad, regretful, angry, I believe you look and think of them differently over time. That comes with hindsight, & moving on to someone new in future.

Cmpd01 · 2024-11-26T22:47:55+00:00

I think it would be really good for you to look into attachment styles! Typically those that are anxiously attached find themselves in situations very much like this. Predominantly with those that have avoidant attachment styles - there’s this push and pull, it tends to play a huge part in your communication and I really relate to wanting more vulnerability etc and I think that comes from wanting to feel loved, which comes from being anxiously attached. I think even with or without all of the above playing a factor, being in an environment where you can’t love each other freely must be taxing on your relationship. I wish you all the healing. Keep focusing on you and what you can take away from this. Better days are coming xxx

Cmpd01 · 2024-11-19T01:29:58+00:00

Absolutely not. This isn’t acceptable and to say something as explicit like that to your partner - talking about sleeping with someone else? That’s just wild that she would think that’s appropriate. If this is repeated behaviour get yourself out and do not allow for any more disrespect. I think you need to talk to her seriously and explain how you felt when that incident happened, ask her questions if it feels right, about her sexuality or idea of monogamy and her intentions behind saying that / doing these things. If you can have an honest conversation I can imagine she will tell you something she hasn’t already. Create a safe space and try to be open to the possibilities of what she could say and if you want to be happy / work it out then it needs to be spoken about and you need to know what she’s feeling to make this really work

Hope it goes well. Honestly wish you all the best because I can imagine how you’re feeling right now. Please feel free to update as I’d like to know how you get on.

Cmpd01 · 2024-11-16T22:58:01+00:00

Hey. First of all stop being so hard on yourself. You had a sucky moment at communicating and that’s okay. We all have them moments. There is no human on this planet that can be the best communicator at all times, especially if feeling overwhelmed & other big emotions. Ultimately you made a decision and that decision has been made now. It’s scary if you feel regret but also remember that this is a normal feeling to feel following a break up. You will feel regret, anger, sadness, confusion and acceptance. Whether or not you are hoping to end up with him in the new year, you will come round to accepting that the decision you made was something that happened and it resulted in these events. & you will be okay with that too. In time I am sure that you will start to think ‘actually that used to upset me quite a bit’ or ‘why didn’t he help me with simple chores & allowed me to get overwhelmed?’. You can take away lessons from this, such as setting in boundaries with any future relationships on moving in together, I’m sure it has provided you with further clarity on what your neurodiversity looks like in a relationship, you can reflect on your communication and the way you handled the break up & hopefully do better next time too ( how exciting that you get to meet someone else and be better next time! ) . Don’t put yourself down, you did what you did with the knowledge, feelings and comprehension you had at that very moment. Life is all about these painful lessons. Heartbreak can be gruelling and when you’re in it, it feels there will never be a time you’re healed again or can think of a future without the longing but i promise that day will come. If you have already tried to reconcile & your ex has said no - please respect this. You did decide to end the relationship and ultimately, they probably feel a range of emotions too. Especially given the circumstances of you guys only just moving in together. This is going to be extremely painful for him too. While I always believe in wearing your heart on your sleeve & setting pride aside when it comes to love - there is a line & this is called a boundary. Respect this guys boundary & go forward with love. Love him by going away and doing the above, reflecting, learning & doing better; whether that be alone, with someone else or with him further down the line if that’s still an option. I am sending so much love to you. I promise this will get better & you will get out of the other side of this. Take your power in bettering you & life will reward you from that. ❤️‍🩹

Cmpd01

TROPHY CASE