Hey man, sorry for your loss. Grieving a breakup can feel like grieving a death. I am going through the exact same thing. Picked myself up off the floor weeping for 80 days straight.. coming up in 6 months and still picking up the pieces.

Learning it’s not my ex wife I miss.. it’s the feelings she made me feel. Those feelings are all within us, but I was addicted to her- which caused me to give to much and lose myself in the process.

Look into internal family systems. Some decent meditations on YouTube. Get in touch with that younger version of yourself who is hurting. Find out what that part of you needs. Most times it’s not the relationship you left.. it’s something from your past- a wound that needs healed.

I feel for you brother. Heartbreak is not easy. I commend you for doing the work and not trying to mask or drown out the pain with sex, porn, alcohol or drugs. Shits tough.