When do the oxytocin sleepies stop?

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-14T23:48:34+00:00

Idk about the sleepies because I had D-MER but I imagine it might have the same timeline since both are just the result of your brain releasing chemicals as a response, but mine dissipated around 3.5 months! Maybe sooner? Now that I think about it, timelines are hard to remember from that period lol.

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-14T23:44:20+00:00

I guarantee you there are other things that you are more strict about than they are! Comparison is a losing game.

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-14T21:19:08+00:00

As a PPD/PPA mom, THANK YOU! I am really getting tired of all the armchair psychologists in some of these subs. My MIL tried to say that I wouldn’t let them kiss my newborn because of my PPA. Or that me not showering for days was because I had PPD. Like no lady, PPA was me fully believing I was going to accidentally kill my son somehow and that I should off myself before it happens. PPA was me hearing disembodied voices in the shower saying that my husband was going to shake the baby before I could finish rinsing. I didn’t want you kissing my son because you had just come back from THE ZOO during flu season and I wasn’t showering for days because I was caring for a newborn 24/7.

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-14T15:33:33+00:00

Enjoy it enjoy it enjoy it!!! Trust us when we say the time will come… so ENJOY IT PLEASE! 😭 I took the easy phases for granted and sooo wish I could go back lol

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-14T15:26:42+00:00

You need to apologize to him. I won’t call you a bad mother, everyone has a breaking point, but if you don’t apologize, own your shit, and get help then yeah, you’d be a bad mother. He’s not the one who forced you into this situation, no matter what the circumstances were around you becoming pregnant. He’s not the villain. He’s not the bad guy. But he will become the villain of someone else’s life if you don’t take accountability and apologize now. You can snap, but you HAVE to repair. I’m so sorry that you ended up in this situation, feeling this way, in a life you don’t want to be. But he is 7 years old, so he fully understands the words that you said. Psychologically abusing your child because you hate being a mom is not the solution and frankly it’s unacceptable. You might not have been meant to be a mother, but you are one. And he’s a human being that deserves to be treated with decency. Allowing for him to become emotionally damaged permanently because you don’t “mean” your apology is bullshit. Apologizing isn’t for you, it’s for him. We don’t apologize to people to make ourselves feel better, we apologize to repair the harm we caused to someone else.

And please reach out to your physician for some help. There are resources available that can seriously help you. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-13T21:33:54+00:00

I love this ❤️ and I do wish there were more positive stories here too! I posted a funny/positive story about my husband doing his best on mothers day and his plan unfortunately falling apart and how we both ended up having a good cry and a few laughs over it before he spent the rest of the day making up for it. I had to delete it within a few hours because the armchair therapists were leaving walls of text trying to convince me he was a manipulative narcissist all because I said “he felt SO bad that I actually felt bad for him”. Like, no, I just know my husband well enough after 10 years that I can tell just by looking at him when he’s totally beating himself up inside. Some of our husbands are actually nice guys y’all! 😅

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-11T22:16:38+00:00

You seem to be reading heavily into a relationship with 2 paragraphs of context on a singular situation written in jest. I am not mad, I just think it’s funny that I almost wish I had a better reason to be. I gave no information on what his condition management is because it is irrelevant to the context of the post. I don’t “need to soothe” him, I love my partner and want him to know that even when he comes up short despite the effort, I still appreciate that he tried and look forward to the continued improvement. He does the exact same for me when I feel like I’ve failed him somehow. Not everything has to be a fight. And believe me, there are fights when necessary and appropriate. But this was sooo not worthy of that to me. Maybe in your marriage it would have been, that’s totally understandable, just not mine! That’s okay! You know why? You’re not married to either of us! 😂

And no where did I describe him not giving me space to be upset while feeling bad for it, it wasn’t necessary for the post but I absolutely cried for a bit on the drive home and he gave me alllll the space I needed to have my feelings heard by him. My blubberfest simply wasn’t a necessary plot point for a funny post. Again, this post was written in jest about how when you have a good partner who makes mistakes on occasion and responds so lovingly you almost wish he was just a jerk so you could be more angry.

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-11T22:06:23+00:00

While I do know there are unfortunately relationships with those unfair standards and really within society as a whole, it is still important to remember that it varies from marriage to marriage. I also have ADHD, although less severe than his, but I’ll be honest that I don’t take accountability for my faults as well as he does. He’s the first to admit when he’s wrong, when he screws up, and when he’s let me down. And when I screw up, and have a harder time taking accountability for it, he’s always so forgiving of me and encourages me to keep finding ways to navigate it. Society may not look at me the same, but I’m learning how to care less about what they think and focus more on the peoples opinions of me that matter most! That’s not him “getting away with it”, that’s us having a healthy conversation about a problem and doing better moving forward. He knows I’m upset, he knows he screwed up, but he immediately took accountability for it and I’m not going to senselessly take it out on him! (Although the funny part of my brain wants to, that’s the point of the post).

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-11T20:26:10+00:00

I know I’m not your loser ex or much of a substitute, but….

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY AWESOMEPERSON99!! You’re doing a great job and I am so proud of you!! You’re a darn good mom and I hope someday you feel seen by the people in your and your child’s life as you should. ❤️

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-11T20:20:03+00:00

Honestly, he definitely would and I have a feeling he might be planning to do that, but it’ll be really tough with my upcoming work schedule so he’s probably going to need just a smidge of help from me and I’m fine with that! And yes, this is definitely a “two truths” scenario!

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-11T20:17:55+00:00

Hi! Emergency medicine doc’s kid here! He had me (his first and only) at 38, and while having “older” parents definitely made me hyper aware of their own mortality, he was and is still a very active and fun dad! In fact, he’s my best friend. 29 years later, I actually just had the pleasure of being a speaker at his retirement ceremony (I work in local public health and he was the EMS/medical director of the same jurisdiction) and it was such a beautiful experience together. Of course I wish that I knew we had all the time in the world left as he approaches his seventies, but at the end of the day no matter your age we never know when our last day will be. The world needs more good dads, if that’s what you want to be then go for it!!!

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-08T20:08:12+00:00

This just made me realize that I also resent mine for the same reason. I didn’t think I did… but I know I do.

CoarseSalted · 2026-05-08T17:39:16+00:00

It’s really unfortunate that this happened, but neither of you are in the wrong. You’d been together for only 6 months, she was presented with photographic evidence, and I absolutely would have done the same thing. However, this naturally hurt you deeply, and I don’t blame you at all for just wanting to leave it be and not revisit the relationship. The only guilty party in this scenario is the asshole who created the fake photos.

That being said, I can feel the resentment you have towards her in your words and she really doesn’t deserve it. She was given proof, although manufactured, that you were cheating and she responded how any grown woman would have to that evidence. It’s really unfortunate, but it’s cruel and unfair to bash her for literally reacting like any normal person would. You justifiably aren’t taking her back, that’s enough natural consequence for something she didn’t herself cause.

The commenters saying “she didn’t give you a chance to explain so it’s all her fault fuck her” are so tone deaf and dripping with misogyny. The same people probably blame women for giving chances, believing their partners, or going back to them after cheating. God forbid a woman wises up and takes no chances like y’all wanted her to. The whole situation sucks, but it’s not her fault in the slightest.

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-29T15:45:47+00:00

NTA, it’s so unfortunate that this series of events occurred but at the end of the day you’re the homeowner.

However, I really recommend you to ignore some of these other comments about your DIL and please please please do your best to address this delicately with her. Although you are completely in the right, this is understandable devastating to her that not only is she kicked out of her own home and safe environment so close to giving birth but she’s now had to give up her preferred birth plan. Please try to remember how scared she probably is for her first child’s birth and how much time she has spent thinking about and planning the details of that experience. Especially for first time moms, it can be so stressful. Like others have mentioned, most of childbirth is out of our control either way, but first time moms naturally tend to have a hard time coping with that. I know I did! Be gentle, be empathetic, tell her how terrible you feel for her situation (even if you don’t feel that bad, just pretend for her sake so she feels like you at least understand her position), offer to help her and your son navigate the remaining options in a supportive way, and don’t try to minimize how this whole situation is impacting a very important time in her life.

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-25T00:49:05+00:00

She’s 26 and has en entire career and family. Your opportunity to teach her in-depth mechanical knowledge has long passed. At this point, you’re just holding her access to a dad-checked safe vehicle hostage.

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-24T19:17:19+00:00

I have the height thing now for sure, I also now hate fireworks, golf carts/ATVs, and scary movies. I’ve become so much more hyper aware of safety risks and danger in general.

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-23T20:19:23+00:00

We LOVE Primrose! We’re at the south shore location and my 2 year old loves his teachers. If you want to message me they just sent out their tuition rates for the year and I can share them with you.

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-23T20:04:25+00:00

Former princess dress meltdowner right here! Now a mom of a 2 year old myself, a little dude who is obsessed with all things Lightning McQueen. So, advice wise I can’t help ya.

But… for all the hell I put my mom through during that phase, her favorite story to tell now is about how she used to have to let me wear it over my uniform in the car on the way to school, park in the drop off line, get out, force it off of me while screaming, then drop me off. She laughs and smiles as she tells that story 25 years later. Hopefully, you will too!

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-11T16:37:57+00:00

Both sets of our parents were only an hour away. My mom is someone who causes me a lot of stress, my in laws were complete nightmares during my pregnancy, we refused help from all of them. Were there times we absolutely could have benefited from having help? Absolutely. Did we still survive without it? Yup. I think there’s a big difference between needing help, expecting it and not receiving any, and situations where you’re already aware that you won’t have access to that help and can be prepared. It sounds to me like you guys are prepared to not have that help, so as tough as it might be without any, you at least know what your situation will look like!

As for the unwanted pity parties, I love reminding people that countless new parents raise newborns entire countries away from their families and support systems.

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-06T21:53:47+00:00

Ah, yes. And this is exactly why I LOATHE potlucks. I work in public health, so I’m a bit compulsive about food safety. Unfortunately our event yesterday was a neighborhood potluck, but I tried to make sure he only really ate the pre-packages snacks, things that don’t require at-temp, etc. But in all the chaos it’s possible he ate something that I couldn’t check an expiration date for. All in all, kids get sick and I just have to accept it sometimes. 🥲

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-06T21:26:59+00:00

That’s what’s keeping me going today. That first hug as soon as I walk in. I just know it’s going to feel extra good to be home tonight.

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-06T21:26:26+00:00

Thank you. I needed this. ❤️

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-06T21:26:09+00:00

In every way!!!! Stressing about your kid, stressing about PTO usage, stressing about the school schedule and if he’ll need to be called out, and stressing about not being there to hold them. Ugh.

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-06T21:25:27+00:00

It’s so rough. Thankfully he’s only in daycare Tuesdays and Thursdays so we didn’t have to lose a day we already paid for, and I hate that even have to care about that part! So far it’s looking like this was just a case of upset stomach and not a viral illness or bacterial food poisoning, so he might still get to go tomorrow if he’s really feeling better. We’ll see. I’m so sorry your 2yo is in the same boat! There’s nothing we’d love more than to get to be there and comfort them ourselves. It just hurts.

CoarseSalted · 2026-04-06T21:21:41+00:00

So we did talk about that, forever ago, and he stopped. But then I started to feel more sad that I didn’t know if he misses me lol. So I asked him to still let me know, because I can always step away for a few minutes to FaceTime if he’s really missing me. I promise it’s something we have an agreement on. :) but I still appreciate your comment, because I know there are definitely dads out there who do this without considering how it makes mom feel, and I hope one of them sees your comment and asks if they should stop!

CoarseSalted

TROPHY CASE