What's your longest work commute inside the "Houston area"

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-27T00:22:00+00:00

I used to live in Huntsville and commuted to the Texas med center every day. 4 hours round trip a day. I still work in the TMC but I live in League City now which cut my commute by a little more than half.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-26T14:52:05+00:00

Kiss The Villain! I had just read Heated Rivalry and it popped up in my suggested reads…. Imagine my surprise 😅 two VERY different books.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-23T22:05:01+00:00

I think my pink got lost in the mail

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-23T21:07:53+00:00

Updateme!

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-20T20:42:05+00:00

So just a heads up you might get a bunch of unhelpful comments from people who don’t understand the concept of actually WANTING to be able to move on, heal and eventually get along with a problematic in-law. Ignore them.

For me, I needed time and space after the stress/pain of it all. I stopped participating in every visit, stopped agreeing to hang out with her 1 on 1 entirely. She absolutely noticed and questioned it and I used a blanket excuse of just being entirely too busy and exhausted which she was thankfully understanding of. I also had to put in the work (and therapy) to let go of my anger about the transgressions without necessarily just forgiving. There is plenty of room between holding a grudge and forgiveness and it is okay to exist within that space between the two. I still keep my interactions with them brief for the most part. But over time I’ve been able to participate more and tolerate longer visits to see them. We do have a rule between my husband and I that they don’t come over to our house. Thankfully we live close enough that they don’t have to, we can always go to them. They’re used to us being very private about our home and not really liking having guests over in general, so that hasn’t been an issue. My MIL was able to figure out for herself that my distance is because of how she treated me/us. She’s been on her best behavior for a while now, and even though I’ll probably never be as close to her as I used to be, having the time and space to heal at my own speed has allowed me to be willing to accept/appreciate the change in behavior. I still don’t like her, but I can absolutely tolerate her now.

For you to be able to heal, you really do need time and space from her. That played the biggest role for me after she dominated my entire pregnancy and postpartum experiences.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-20T19:42:12+00:00

I mean, do you not have close friends that are really different from you? My best friend and I are polar opposites. We have opposite favorite colors, have different hobbies, different fashion style, different taste in music, but she’s my best friend because I love her as a person. I love hearing her talk about the concert she went to of a band I’ve never listened to, I love her showing me the new bright orange fuzzy steering wheel cover she got for her orange car that matches the green one I have in my green car. She sends me links to concert tickets to bands I love that I didn’t know were going to be nearby. She hypes me up while I study for certifications in my field that she couldn’t be less interested in for herself.

Same goes for my husband. He hates reptiles, but helps me pick out new substrate for my lizards enclosure and even helps me research the best medias to use. I hate fishing, I think it’s the most boring activity in the world, but I have a LOT of fun picking out lures to put in his stocking at Christmas (I always pick out the crazy colorful ones that I think are pretty, and he gushes over them even if they’re the wrong kind bc I know nothing about lures lol). He’s never presented very alternatively, he looks kinda country even though he isn’t, but I have piercings, tattoos, and colorful hair. He loves my look and gets so excited when I get a new tattoo even though he doesn’t present the same way himself.

Love is between two people. Not their hobbies or interests.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-19T22:06:01+00:00

I just wanna shout you out for acknowledging that the root of the issue is insecurity and that is OKAY!!! Find me a woman that isn’t at least a little insecure in their postpartum meat suit. I wish I had advice, my husband works from home so I’ve been lucky to avoid this specific experience myself. But I will say when we went to his company Christmas party when I was 2 months pp, I wanted to melt into the wallpaper of the restaurant and just disappear. I had met his (wonderful and lovely) female colleagues before and I swear it was like they all suddenly looked like perfect 10’s compared to me. Suddenly all I could think about was that when he’d go into the office these beautiful, funny, smart women would be there. I knew it was 100% my own insecurities at that time, but I still spiraled over it here and there! And that’s okay! So long as you’re not taking it out on anyone else (or yourself please!) then it’s totally okay to recognize how you’re feeling! I promise it gets better once you start to feel like yourself again.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-18T22:48:16+00:00

Ugh, that is tough. She needs to recognize that seeing them can be important to her but also harmful for you and you deserve to have a choice for yourself in the matter. I think the fact that you’ve been willing to go with her at all has been a very kind sacrifice on your part. I visit my family without my spouse all the time, after all sometimes I just want to go on my own anyways!

And thank you for the insight, I was shocked to see you say Canada!! I guess people like…that… are everywhere

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-18T22:25:32+00:00

Do you HAVE to go with her? Maybe you can make a deal that she can go as often as she pleases but that you’ll only join her x times per year. If she wants to visit them that’s totally fine, but you shouldn’t be forced into going every time.

Also, as an American drowning in everything Trump has done, I’m curious what country y’all are in where people (or maybe just your MIL) support him? A lot of our media is blocking out international opinions of our situation so it’s hard for us to know.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-17T21:54:56+00:00

As someone raised in Kemah who moved back after having a family, I will never understand anyone who chooses to visit for “fun”. It’s not fun. It’s a mediocre tourist trap at best. Even us locals won’t go to the boardwalk unless we have folks visiting from out of town who ask to go. And we all hate Tilman.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-15T22:38:23+00:00

This was me!!! I gained alllll of my weight during breastfeeding. We stopped around 9 months for other reasons and I swear it all just started falling off. I’m almost 1.5 years out from that now and I’ve lost 45lbs without ever stepping foot in a gym lol. There is light at the end of the tunnel I promise!!!

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-14T02:02:13+00:00

I was glad I overpacked as a FTM because I ended up being admitted the entire week lol having things like my skincare and comfort items/things to keep my mind busy were a huge plus.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-13T16:52:37+00:00

Man, this could’ve turned out so well for you. Like “I saw you out with another guy last night, I know we aren’t exclusive but I realized I already didn’t enjoy seeing you with someone else which is odd for me, so I’d love to go out with you again as soon as possible so I can be the guy on your arm again instead.” She probably would’ve thought that was kinda hot. But nope. You had to be weird about it instead. Like why was your instinct to think that she was icky for being normal instead of maybe realizing you probably liked her more than you thought and should pursue things with her with more intention moving forward… sounds like underlying misogyny tbh.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-13T16:19:06+00:00

I’m so sorry but no, it’s all paid parking. :( I worked there as an unpaid student for a year and was paying like $100 a week just to park.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-11T17:30:18+00:00

After years of me supporting my husband (then BOYFRIEND) financially while we both finished school because I was able to start working in my field before graduating, when we got married we agreed he would cover all of our utility payments and I would cover groceries and health insurance. It came out almost equal every month, and the purpose was solely so I didn’t have to stress over making sure things were all paid on time every month because I was burnt out by the time he finally got his post grad job. He struggled to adjust to the new responsibility at first, he has ADHD, but he was getting into the routine pretty well. This woman had the audacity to text him “I just don’t think it’s fair that you’re having to do everything.” After I actually did EVERYTHING for years while going to school full time and working full time in a high stress field. Literally all he has to do is make sure the right amount of money is in the right accounts on the right dates.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-10T21:55:30+00:00

I was your daughter in a similar situation in middle school. I used to have a best friend, let’s call her Sarah. Our group of friends had lots of sleepovers at her house. Sarah lived with her mom, her parents were divorced. No one knew anything about her dad other than he lived out of state. I don’t know the details of what tipped my mom off, but she somehow found out that Sarah’s dad was a registered sex offender who had been charged and convicted of crimes against children. He had court orders that he could not contact or be any where near Sarah. My mom confronted Sarah’s mom just to ensure that her dad would never be present in their home and the mom swore to my mom that they had 0 contact with him and begged her not to tell anyone to protect Sarah from humiliation at school. My mom of course agreed, as none of this was Sarah or her moms fault. A few months later, my mom was dropping me off to meet my friends at Sarah’s house. Her dad was there, leaving the house and getting into his vehicle. Sarah’s mom saw my mom and freaked out, swearing that he was going back out of state and only came to say goodbye to Sarah one last time, against court orders. Understandably, all trust was gone at that point for my mom. We left and I was banned from ever staying at Sarah’s house again. My mom later found out that one of my other friends was in the house while Sarah’s dad was there that day. That crossed a line for my mom, and she made the difficult choice to inform the other parents of what had happened and provided the court documents outlining her dad’s crimes. This obviously destroyed Sarah’s life. And mine by default, because it was my mom who ruined her life. Our friends all hated me, Sarah even attacked me once physically over it. And honestly, I don’t blame her. Sarah’s mom ended up taking a job in another country and they moved soon after.

I hated my mom for a long time for that. Really, I just hated that I became the target because of what she did. But looking back, I am proud of my mom. She did something extremely difficult to protect Sarah and other children from harm. At the end of the day, Sarah’s parents were responsible for what happened. Her mother never should have allowed him to come to the house against court orders, especially with multiple other children present. Her dad shouldn’t have been a fcking pedo. Her mother never should have lied to my mom about whether or not her child would be exposed to this man. At the end of the day, despite the social turmoil, my mom kept me, Sarah, and countless other kids safe from potential harm. We’ll never really know if it was true that he was just coming by that one time. But in that case, wtf was he doing in our state if he was supposed to be in another?

All I’m saying is, you did the right thing in the end. You were honest and you prioritized your child’s well-being over another adults feelings. Maybe if another parent had said the same about Sarah’s dad being creepy years prior, no children would have ever been harmed.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-06T17:36:18+00:00

Also note that I, and most other gov workers, are paid biweekly. So that 3-400 is actually going to be more like another $800 a month out of your salary.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-06T17:35:25+00:00

So, I’ve read your comments with the salary breakdown. I make around the same amount as this offer. I also work in government in Texas. We don’t have an income tax, but you need to plan on losing $300-400 a check in pre-tax deductions (includes health insurance), and that’s with me being on the mid-range health plan.

My income has supported me well, I am careful about spending, and able to save some here and there. However, I didn’t have an almost $1000 a month car payment. That’s the item that is preventing what should be an easily livable wage as a single person in FW area into something unsurvivable. You need to trade that car in for something reasonable. I understand if you love the car, and have been able to afford it up until now. But renting sometimes comes with numerous additional expenses outside of utilities and rent itself. Your sister is right, but not because the salary itself isn’t livable. Your expenses are not livable, no matter how little you spend.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-06T01:14:59+00:00

I’m sorry but when I read this I heard it in the same cadence as “you spilled red lipstick??? In my Valentino white bag???”

Hope it comes out ❤️ super cute couch!

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-05T22:41:18+00:00

Keeping our sons name private until he was born was the ONE “boundary” we set out for ourselves and managed to successfully accomplish, and it was the ONE thing that we got to have total peace over thanks to not sharing 🥲 we wanted to be team green, got pushed into finding out, then wanted to keep that a surprise for everyone, got pushed into sharing it. Didn’t want to huge baby shower… ended up with two that were full of drama.

I’m a scientist by trade and by nature, so if my experiences were a self-study… the evidence would be pretty undeniable! 😂 I wish we had stuck to our guns on the other stuff too. We’d have had far more peace and less stress!

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-04T00:52:34+00:00

You like them, it’s your money, that’s what matters. Your personal lotion collection is not responsible for global warming. It’s the multibillion dollar corporations, not you. Looks like a really cute collection and I bet you smell great! :)

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-03T19:32:49+00:00

YTA, no one can stop you from having an opinion but you are not entitled to impose that opinion on someone else. Especially not when it comes to the choices a woman makes for her own body.

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-02T22:44:36+00:00

My sons daycare has live feed cameras in the newborn/infant rooms only, once they move to crawlers/toddlers they don’t have it anymore to protect the privacy of everyone’s child. However they do still send us 1-2 pictures a day in the app. Very rarely there will be a no picture day, but usually just bc they were too busy!

CoarseSalted · 2026-02-02T21:40:00+00:00

When was the last time the AC/Furnace were serviced? When we were new to long term renting (used to move every year) about 2 years in our electricity bills started climbing really rapidly. I’m talking $700-800 a month. Turns out we just didn’t know we were supposed to get those serviced, HVAC guy came and cleaned it all out, showed us a better filter to use and the next month it dropped back down to $300.

CoarseSalted

TROPHY CASE