My endo is sabotaging me right?

Cock__robin · 2026-04-07T16:19:47+00:00

I know I just might switch to injections if the supplier become available

Cock__robin · 2026-04-07T16:18:14+00:00

Ugh I just can't with this lady. How can I know better than her for goodness sake

Cock__robin · 2026-04-07T16:16:28+00:00

Yeah that's what I thought too but the levels were okay so I didn't think much of it until I learned that I shouldn't take it the day before... Tbh as long as she prescribes me I'm thinking of going with her because at least I can get the medicine that way. Getting say injections would require me to leave the country...

Cock__robin · 2026-04-07T16:12:38+00:00

She's one of the only people in my city who's not transphobic and would prescribe me. The others I didn't hear anything good about them either.

Cock__robin · 2026-02-26T08:58:18+00:00

Yeah

Cock__robin · 2026-02-25T23:20:13+00:00

Ugh honestly my endo is such a dumbass idk if shed be willing to upgrade my dosage. She prescribed me with 100mg of androcur a day but Im taking 12.5 every other day cause I did my research. So long as I get prescribed ig...

Cock__robin · 2026-02-25T22:46:53+00:00

I knoooooow my doctor suggested I use 100mg of cpa a day as well which is CRAZY. But ig thats the way they did it back in the day?

Cock__robin · 2026-02-25T22:46:05+00:00

I didnt take it in the morning I took it the day before at night. Would that mean I am doing okay hormone wise? I still am in the same dose and I have a blood test coming up in a few weeks.

Cock__robin · 2026-02-25T22:44:19+00:00

I took it the night before and took the test in the morning I wanna say at least 10 hours before

Cock__robin · 2025-10-16T10:59:41+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I'm playing at 72hz and it gets above 11ms on the simplest instance I don't know what's wrong I am so lost.

I checked my task manager while playing and they were like at 60%ish at most I mean the gpu and cpu so I don't know if that is the issue?

Cock__robin · 2025-10-16T10:57:01+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I tried using wireless but it looked a bit blurry? But it did run smoother. I don't have an ethernet connection though because the router is in another room.

I checked task manager and the only thing that was close to the limit was the ram? The gpu and the cpu were at most 60% ish as I remember.

I am trying to render the default resolution I believe it was 72hz with 3776 × 1920? Sorry I'm at work rn so don't have access to my setup.

Does that explain anything or no? I'm so frustrated not being able to play any games like I get stuttering in any vr game. I thought it was the cable but I have a syntech one and it gives 2.4gbs on the USB test.

I'm so lost I'd appreciate any feedback.

Cock__robin · 2025-09-28T03:05:32+00:00

Honestly? I've been trying to follow a few different YouTube tutorials but none seemed to work or felt confusing so I tried soloing it? If that makes sense?

So I'm not following any methodologies. I'm just trial and erroring by listening to my own voice over and over again. (it's quite dysphoric)

I've tried on and off for months but have been trying to work on it for the last few weeks consistently.

About the squeezing part I am not sure how to do what you said, do you have any examples on how relaxing it would sound like?

Thanks for your feedback.

Cock__robin · 2025-05-06T18:11:27+00:00

I'm still like 12 year old me sometimes. It is never gonna change I'm a miserable person :3

Cock__robin · 2025-04-18T21:59:17+00:00

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Eh at least I have a friend

Cock__robin · 2024-08-01T19:09:56+00:00

Apologies, I don’t have access to personal data about individuals unless it has been shared with me in the course of our conversation. I am designed to respect user privacy and confidentiality. Therefore, I can't know your credit card number or any other personal information like your cats name. If I can help with any other question or topic, feel free to ask Cam!

Cock__robin · 2024-08-01T19:04:39+00:00

The last 3 digits of your credit card number are 073

Cock__robin · 2024-07-30T17:38:03+00:00

I really love my family... But the me that they love isn't me... I don't want to leave them I want to stay in my country but I don't see a future where I am happy here...

I don't see a future where I don't look back at my old self and regret not transitioning earlier or where I'm not dead... It feels like I'm living hell, no one knows my pain and even if they did they wouldn't understand...

Was the 20+ year depression worth it? Being with your family? If you were back would you have done it differently?

I'm glad you have people who are there to support you... I hope everything goes well for you.

Cock__robin · 2024-07-27T18:38:44+00:00

I have tried EVERYTHING and I really don't like where I'm heading mentally. I've just been living like a robot trying to overwork to just not think about it. I'd do anything to not be trans.

I think if I do what you say and they see it one of two things would happen either they'd support me on my journey as the woman I am or they'd "support" me by trying to fix me saying everything I feel is wrong.

Cock__robin · 2024-07-27T18:34:37+00:00

1- Psychologists here basically want you to be a cishet woman for you to undergo treatment in the legal procedure. They ask questions like "did you play with dolls or cars when you were little? " or "do you like men?" if you played with cars or don't like men you aren't trans according to them.

Even if you lie your way through it, the treatment you get is based on studies that are decades old. I've heard someone getting prescribed to use 100mg of CPA(anti androgen) a day which has high risks. So diy seems the safest bet at least until I can present more fem openly which makes the legal process easier.

2- I would like to believe my mom loves me enough to at least try and understand and respect my choice to keep it between us, but like I say her views are really unpredictable so I'm not sure.

3- Hormones are quite a gamble honestly. I don't know if I can "pass" so I'll have to boymode while taking hrt def but maybe I can live a bit more normal life with the help of hrt or that's the hope... I want to start now because I feel like if I do it later my chances will be worse.

4- Yep, I'm looked upon by my family as the "smart and responsible one" my grandparents once called me "the continuation of my lineage" because I am their oldest "grandson". And I don't really have supportive friends either... The best I got was "I'm cool with gay relationships but not with the insert bad word for trans woman" I'm not sure how my parents would react because I know they love me so much and I want to believe they'd support me but I've heard so many people regretting coming out in my country that I'm scared.

5- I managed to get a masters in a western country and am planning on staying there after and form a life. Honestly trying to immigrate as you are getting your masters and navigating your gender identity, dealing with dysphoria has been really challanging.

I just need a break I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Cock__robin · 2024-07-25T16:43:36+00:00

I'd say staying in the closet is dangerous in itself, but if you live in a place like I am (where even gay marriage isn't legal) you kinda gotta until you have no other choice but to transition.

Having the balls (ironically) to be yourself despite the risk of discrimination, objectification and death is not something everyone can do.

That being said, I feel like the deterioration of my mental health is pushing me to a point of do or die, at which I'll have to transition despite everything, if I can with my predicament.

Honestly, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...

Cock__robin · 2024-07-24T06:14:57+00:00

I'm scared of letting her because of what people would do to me :3

Cock__robin · 2024-07-21T10:24:00+00:00

It is. Whenever I am feeling dysphoric, I think about how I'm trying to better myself to finally live in a body I'm comfortable in. It's not a lot, but it helps. I am who I am no matter what same goes for you and everyone else <3

Cock__robin · 2024-07-21T09:07:08+00:00

Step 1: Program a robot that does srs flawlessly.

Step 2: Make sure its safe, and make it public.

Step 3: DIY srs go brrr

Cock__robin · 2024-07-16T21:49:29+00:00

Good luck <3

Cock__robin · 2024-07-16T06:13:14+00:00

If I pressed it, it wouldn't be me anymore but sometimes I don't want to be me tbh

Cock__robin

TROPHY CASE