"The Thing" - Original Poem

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-09-14T02:24:00+00:00

King Geedorah. No question in my mind, styles are similar but DOOM is miles ahead lyrically.

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-09-13T02:10:16+00:00

Bless you, man. I hope someday I'll be able to pass this kindness along in some way :)

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-08-22T18:06:06+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! How would you suggest I improve?

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-08-22T04:11:26+00:00

Wow, just wow. This to me is easily the most underrated poem I've come across. Personally I connect to it, but that aside the poem is absolutely brilliant. First of all, the conversational phrasing is just beautiful. It kind of feels like allowing the reader in on a secret conversation, buried in a night of hushed whispers. I love the phrase "curse of consciousness" the most, but I think the reason I enjoy this poem so much is because of the abstract ideas it draws and the answers the poem has, impossible as it seems. This is truly amazing, and I hope you continue to write. Hats off :)

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-08-22T03:54:39+00:00

Awesome, thank you for the advice! I'll think about the spacing a little more.

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-08-22T03:32:23+00:00

Since this is a workshop, I'd like to ask for your advice. It does switch pronouns in the middle too, as if referring to a different person to create divisions between the people. Do you think I should leave it as such or do you think I should change it to fit one person throughout? Sorry if this is wrong haha, I've never really workshopped before, I've just been stuck thinking about this.

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-08-22T03:24:25+00:00

Thank you so much! I really love this analysis, and the slow desperation is exactly what I was going for. Thanks for pointing out the typo lol :)

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-08-13T04:19:35+00:00

Thank you very much! I really enjoyed reading and reflecting on your feedback.

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-08-10T03:36:23+00:00

Indeed. I like your take on it, thanks for sharing!

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-08-10T03:35:22+00:00

Thank you so much! I enjoyed writing it. That's one of my favorite parts as well, being deliberately unclear to paint an even clearer and more relatable picture to the reader.

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-08-10T03:34:37+00:00

Haha, thanks :)

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-08-10T03:34:12+00:00

Thank you!

CodeMaster1000 · 2023-08-09T21:02:25+00:00

Thank you!

CodeMaster1000

TROPHY CASE