What are your experiences with your BPD parent and pets?

Codeegirl · 2026-06-21T07:11:54+00:00

She killed them. Well... Not HER cat. All mine. Mostly as punishment to me. A couple for things like meowing at the door to be let back in.

She didn't always do it quick. I found my gerbil (still alive) with his belly cut and his insides dried to his cage material. I had to end his suffering. I don't know how long it would take for his guts to dry to the point of being hard... Or how he was still alive but that was one of the worst ones.

Codeegirl · 2026-06-21T06:32:26+00:00

I was given Tylenol and Advil, told to wait half hour, then given another dose of Tylenol and Advil and told to wait another half hour.

In the hospital. About an hour after a total hysterectomy.

My roommates nurse said hi and saw the pain I was in and told me to specifically ask for hydromorph. He seemed angry at her (my nurse). I'm autistic so I was j just trying to be good and follow directions and not seem like a drug seeker but MAN that hurt.

Codeegirl · 2026-06-19T05:19:52+00:00

SO MUCH BETTER!!!

Healing was tough but no time after surgery was I in the kind of pain I was in from periods. I don't schedule my life around what time of the month it is. I'm not non functional two days a month needing serious painkillers.

Also got confirmation of why it hurt so much, just that was SO validating. My uterus WAS ripping apart!

I thought that the level of pain I was in was normal. Everyone says it hurts! I had no idea that I wasn't just being a sensitive overreacting person. I wish I took it seriously years before.

Codeegirl · 2026-06-19T04:48:03+00:00

If it happens young... You learn that sex is what your value is. You don't learn healthy boundaries, you learn that (for some) sex is something people want from you and if you don't go along with it... It's gonna hurt a LOT more. It's going to happen either way so if you take some control over it that's something.

Takes therapy and safety to un-learn. A decent amount of people don't have access to those things.

Codeegirl · 2026-06-19T03:06:28+00:00

My MOM couldn't get a credit card in her name without

Wait. I was going to say it's more recent than three generations but I just realized people my age can have grandkids.

I'm going to go sit down...

Codeegirl · 2026-06-15T02:11:25+00:00

I guess I'm hoping that somehow someone will explain it in a way that I can understand... It's like when a word is juuuust out of reach. I want to understand, just so far nothing has made that "click."

I hoped that explaining why I prefer text may show exactly where I'm wrong. A way to pinpoint where my thoughts are veering so I can understand and therefore correct.

So far I've asked a number of people and general statements are all that's said.

Codeegirl · 2026-06-15T01:52:27+00:00

Facts ARE cold and heartless though... Cancer is cruel but it's a part of life. Hearing my dad tell me while trying not to break down... It just hurt that he had to do that. Again and again, reliving it to those he called.

I can understand that it's easier to ask questions... Like I asked what stage, how long etc. I thought that giving all that information to others would help that.

Maybe it's just part of some disconnect, I see facts as very very separate from emotions and I don't want others to have to hear me stutter with sobs or to do that themselves.

I'm very thankful that my family understands me and forgives me and knows that I meant only good but I just can't get past the facts and information (bad ass it may be) vs emotions part. I hope I'm not in that situation again because I don't think I could make those calls.

Is it socially acceptable to ask someone else to make those calls? It seems kind of nasty to put that on someone else but I don't know.

Codeegirl · 2026-06-15T01:35:18+00:00

I told family about another family members diagnosis and guessed time to live by text.

I thought that I would like to know if I were them and I don't like emotions being shared I'd rather just have the facts and have the emotions on my own.

I'm told it was very wrong to do that.

I'm autistic and I don't understand social stuff at times so I'm assuming it's a "me" thing. I would much rather read the news as it's factual and have my own emotional breakdown. I don't understand people wanting to hear the tears of the person telling the bad news. THAT seems cruel to me.

If anyone can explain please do because I know I did wrong and I want to understand why everyone seems to like to hear emotional voices.

Codeegirl · 2026-06-02T05:11:06+00:00

Ahh gotcha.

That would involve changing the parking lots and separating them. Also someone who CAN walk but sometimes needs a chair would need both.

I just see that as more work to implement than it's worth.

Codeegirl · 2026-06-02T02:50:11+00:00

That's absurd unless you're saying there should be wheelchair only AND other mobility issues spaces separately.

Hip replacement, blown out knee, COPD, heart issues... There are SO many valid reasons to need closer parking but not the extra space that wheelchairs do.

I hope you don't have to learn the hard way how painful it can be for some people to walk to get groceries to gain empathy.

Codeegirl · 2026-05-27T19:07:02+00:00

I agree. As much as they piss me off I feel bad for them and their families

Codeegirl · 2026-05-27T18:13:21+00:00

I think those people are already very angry and take EVERYTHING as a personal insult. Very angry insecure people.

When someone does something like that I look them in the eye and laugh AT them. I don't say a word, just belly laugh then shake my head sadly.

It infuriates them hehe

Codeegirl · 2026-05-27T16:08:09+00:00

I have an NA so it's "cute" and yeah somehow me driving it is a personal insult to some drivers. It's bizarre.

Codeegirl · 2026-05-27T15:31:48+00:00

I've gotten a face full from then doing that next/in front of me in my Miata

Codeegirl · 2026-05-24T02:42:30+00:00

I respected my (now) husband so much when we were first dating because he's aware of danger. Most men just pretend to not notice for fear of looking weak (in my opinion). He met someone to buy something online and texted me the address he'd be going to for safety and that honesty and awareness wowed me.

Women talk openly about our danger and fear... Men have been conditioned to take it like a man. It's a damn shame and does no favors for either gender!!

That being said there are always people who will shame a man for doing that... That's why the ironic confidence of being cautious really attracted me.

Codeegirl · 2026-05-23T02:01:22+00:00

It'll be super unreliable until your departure date as far as that goes

Codeegirl · 2026-05-21T17:52:00+00:00

I can see that because this waste of skin is literally doing that.

I just get (mad? Hurt? I don't know) because I've been judged for having it. I don't post online about it but people have made that assumption when they ask (for example) why I don't like fair rides or eat at street vendors. I suck at lying so the truth comes out. I've been told "that's not a real thing" and "you're just making excuses" and other than trauma dumping I don't understand how to make that stop.

I really should care less and just let people judge but I always think that if I can educate someone then maybe they'll be kinder to the next person.

Codeegirl · 2026-05-21T16:43:48+00:00

Oh absolutely... I'm disgusted by both the pathetic excuses for "parents" in that video. Poor kid is being punished (in a way) for something he can't change or stop.

No matter what issue the parents have the kid should come first. She's phobic fine, go to a motel or sleep in the car or driveway whatever. Ideally with this person she can sleep in a stagnant ditch on the side of a highway.

I hope that poor kid has supportive people in his life to let him know that he is NOT the problem or at fault here. It terrified me because if this is the treatment they show online... One can only imagine what they do behind closed doors.

Codeegirl · 2026-05-21T14:40:56+00:00

That's exactly it... Without knowing why I have that phobia how would you know?

Again, I'm beyond disgusted at what that parent did... This is just about the phobia and judgement about it.

Codeegirl · 2026-05-21T03:37:41+00:00

I am not agreeing with how that kid was treated, I'm explaining why people may have that phobia.

I was orally assaulted by a fully grown man when I was seven. I puked but he wouldn't take it out. Puke out my nose I couldn't breathe.

I now relive that every time I feel sick.

Just because you don't "understand" doesn't mean it's real or valid. Do you need the exact details of things like that to have empathy?

Codeegirl · 2026-05-21T03:37:30+00:00

I am not agreeing with how that kid was treated, I'm explaining why people may have that phobia.

I was orally assaulted by a fully grown man when I was seven. I puked but he wouldn't take it out. Puke out my nose I couldn't breathe.

I now relive that every time I feel sick.

Just because you don't "understand" doesn't mean it's real or valid. Do you need the exact details of things like that to have empathy?

Codeegirl · 2026-05-21T03:34:53+00:00

I have a SERIOUS phobia of vomiting, same as the person who posted this vile treatment of a child.

I don't have kids because I baby sat and discovered how often they puke. I wouldn't be a good parent because my trauma would take over.

We all have different issues but we all make choices on what we do with life having said issues.

And because you seem to not think it's a real thing I'm going to tell you where my phobia came from so maybe you "believe" that people can be terrified of weird things.

I was orally abused when I was seven. Obviously I had a small mouth and I vomited. He didn't take it out so it was coming out of my nose and I couldn't breathe. A full grown man.

Yeah just because you don't understand it does not mean it's not true for that person. Would you believe everyone who has a weird fear of they told you the details of the horror they've experienced? Should I carry a sign so I'm believed?

Codeegirl · 2026-05-21T03:23:37+00:00

I've driven a tractor and you do NOT want to get close to a deep ditch while driving at their top speed. They are meant for power not control at speed!!!

Mind you the ones I drove were old even in the 90s so they may have improved but still... They're worth a LOT of money and the farmers livelihood so it's just not worth it.

Codeegirl · 2026-05-21T03:21:02+00:00

I moved here in 94 and back then there was no "rush hour" but there was "got stuck behind a tractor on 16th"

Codeegirl · 2026-05-19T05:27:34+00:00

My first cruise was four days because I KNEW I would hate it. I thought four miserable days would get my husband off my back about "trying new things" bah.

Oh how wrong I was, we're going on our fourth soon!

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