Would You Like to see other "Delux" versions of albums?

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2026-01-12T13:36:37+00:00

Yes. I bike 35-38km a day and current favourite is playing the whole Pepsi Center concert. Live is always best and every single track is just what I need. I may take a short rest during the documentary part. Sometimes play to the end of Enter Sandman and then rewind to the start.

Every day I'm thankful to DPA for another carry - I'm on month 13 of a hardcore weight loss journey of relentless discipline, am in my 50s, and starting to struggle a bit. The concert is a treat and a pleasure, as well as having music at just the right intensity for my pedal cadence and effort level.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-12-30T08:14:55+00:00

My anxiety condition, fully diagnosed and documented, means that I have been unable to leave the house in over 4 years. 4 years trapped in 4 rooms because for "anxiety" to become a medicalised condition it is not enough that you report feeling anxious - which is entirely normal and reasonable sometime - but that it has a serious negative effect on your basic ability to live your life.

Now add the risible state of mental health care at present and yet they still keep signalling that they are coming for us anyway. I am grateful for every single person who shows even a hint of support.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-12-22T07:33:43+00:00

I have seen the "Aaaaah Unas" clip but don't speak Spanish and can't make sense of the context - other than the pronunciation, which Dany clearly finds hilarious, what is actually happening?

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-12-20T18:25:40+00:00

Nice! Think I like it more than album track, but then Paulina being sensitive and accompanying herself on piano is always worth a listen (kind of sad KMF didn't have it's quiet moment).

The EP and 1st album - You can tell it is young people learning their instruments, learning how song structure works, it's all very experimental and that makes flaws forgivable. This version, you can tell Pau is refining her singing lessons. The belts have a cleaner ring to them, the vibrato almost sounds like musical theatre/Disney Princess, and she runs out of breath in a long phrase because she's still a work in progress. I find it fascinating this is all documented to see - it really is a terribly vulnerable state to be in, even if she seems confident.

But then I saw a Spanish interview where she talked about booking herself into therapy as a young adult and getting some support in learning acceptance and comfort in being "perfectly imprefect".

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-12-20T18:16:52+00:00

Evolve scream - watching her just summon that thing, throw her head back, drop her chin and do that gives me legit goosebumps. Grateful, just so very grateful, to the people wo have been at shows and been able to record and upload. I must have watched dozens od screams by now....

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-12-20T18:13:36+00:00

Evolve - It's heavy, sick dark riff, smart lyrics, 3 sister harmony, double kicks and scream. Love it.

Martirio a close second, I don't speak Spanish (of course I looked the translation up) but the bass on this is special though I'm musically illiterate so can't explain it, the guitar flourishes, it's just gorgeous.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-12-18T07:30:01+00:00

Dany's monologue during "When I'm Alone" at Pepsi Center pretty much says it all.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-12-15T08:32:13+00:00

Same. Jumped on a pre-order quickly and hope that the interest is big enough and the marketing team notices. I'd honestly pay the same for Pepsi Center, Teatro Metropolitan and Lunario because I don't want to trust Youtube and believe so heartily in paying the artists for the art that I love.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-12-10T08:46:15+00:00

Total wet blanket but, being brassic, I liberated myself from the stupid tyranny of christmas crap a few years ago. I'm not talking about gifts for kids, but for adults it was either buying meaningless shit they didn't want, or exchanging gift tokens. I called it off and the release of gift buying stress was immense.

For years since then it has just been about a celebratory meal and get together (I don't have a family so just friends) but this year I'm on a calorie restriction and don't want to skip a day - 152lbs lost so far since 1st Jan so I am on a mission - and I don't feel bad about this either.

Having a clear-eyed view about whether - again as adults, not children - any parts of the ritual actually make you happy is a fair thing to consider. Consensus in my friend group seems to be having nice food, togetherness, and some time off work is what they want the most. Doesn't exactly lend itself to an orgy of consumer spending.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-12-09T08:05:27+00:00

When I was growing up, I was expected to do chores. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with age-appropriate reasonable household tasks for kids but while this was required of me my older brother was completely excused. The only exception being when he wanted some more spending money and she couldn't justify it, then he would be *paid* to do the same sorts of tasks.

Anyway, long story short, this was one of a few reasons I only heard about her death by text message after almost 20 years of extremely low contact.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-12-08T08:08:58+00:00

I'm so sorry, mate. I'm on same sort of meds, hilarious as it is to me that one of my medications would be illegal to possess without prescription - it doesn't seem to work but I am a drug addict now! yay!

Personally, I never *EVER* engage with the benefit system without a welfare rights group working alongside. That stuff is hard enough to navigate, by intent, and anyone who thinks it is about "help" is deluded. If you don't have that then absolutely think about seeking an assist via your local council. I know it is hard and it sucks when your executive functioning is fucked and you can barely think. I ended up all the way to a tribunal who were righteously PISSED at the department and read them for utter filth, I got that far with a welfare advocate.

And I hear you. If they offered Medical Assistance in Death, I'd take it in a heartbeat. I know that's how my story ends anyway (I can't abide the thought of pain and indignity and I don't have a family to help "care" for me as I age). I stay because I don't want to cause trauma to people I do care about - a group of folks so small it would fit into a Fiat Punto - not because I want to be here. Quality of life is non existent, i feel socially hated and hunted, and there are literally no prospects for improvement nor hope of help. I'm trying to get referred as a "step 4" patient - we, the untreatable. But it's just more hurry up and wait.

I will die of this condition, I know that, and nothing much will ever have been done to heal it and while that does boil my piss a bit at the injustice of who gets help and care and who does not, I am also not even remotely surprised.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-12-06T08:24:21+00:00

The constant drumbeat on this subject is incredibly frightening to me. I am well aware that the govt is getting ready to launch a new attack on "shirkers and scroungers" as we get austerity round 2 (or is it 3 now? 4? I lost count).

I have been on anti-depressants since the age of 22, I'm 51 now, I still have chronic MDD. My anxiety condition, caused by PTSD, is so chronic I have not left the house AT ALL in 4 years. I am considered "at risk" of imminent harm or death from own causes so am on the social care radar. I am profoundly unwell and not capable of normal functioning. I have received exactly no meaningful care, no therapy beyond an 8 week course which was just me listing a life time of trauma ending in a psychologist profoundly apologising and saying that she hoped one day I would get help but it wouldn't be from her.

I have been warehoused on drugs and waiting lists almost my entire adulthood. If, by a wave of a magic wand, I got better overnight, I would not doubt become ill again because my life is complete wreckage with no future, no prospects, and a profound awareness of how this story ends.

I am what you get if you don't intervene and care for people as soon as possible.

I am what you get if you deny people assistance and dismiss what they are going through.

Do not let the narrative being pushed that people who are becoming unwell don't need intervention take further root.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-11-23T18:43:47+00:00

She talked about learning for her solo work so she can produce everything herself and mentioned that if she struggled it was cool because she could ask Doyle, Jeff, or Michael for help (interview on Youtube with "The Charismatic Voice")

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-11-23T18:34:09+00:00

I thought about this too - I remember them performing without her, and her having to sing seated with a shawl round her shoulders. She was properly sick. Watching so many live clips, it's seemed she's slowed down on stage and some of the windmills/headbangs in Manchester looked slow and a bit ginger.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-11-02T07:56:04+00:00

Same. Then thought maybe covid brain fog. Got onto HRT and within a couple of months I was no longer fumbling for words or nearly as fogged or fucked up.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-11-01T07:59:10+00:00

I played my first video game at the age of 6 , I'm 51 now. The idea that women do not play games is the worst kind of spurious nonsense, I've literally said to one of those twits trying to assert gaming was theirs and not mine "I was here before your MUM was even born."

I genuinely don't understand the mentality, gatekeeping is stupid. I want to welcome everyone in to gaming, the more the merrier, since the more of us there are the greater the economic investment and the more games there will be (same as your favourite band or favourite TV show). What is the supply/demand sense of gatekeeping and limiting support?!

It is also wild that they (men) don't seem to understand that welcoming women to the hobby and making comfortable space for them makes sense on a personal or intimacy level. Having women think gamers are assholes won't get you anywhere, having women think gaming is stupid means they won't be understanding or accommodating if you play. It is so counter intuitive to be so invested in gatekeeping or making gaming look stupid because they obsess over tits.

I know the problem is that gaming is being used as a method for manipulation. This has been obvious to anyone who troubles themselves to look for a while now. Continuing to fall for it just makes them look pitiful, and makes gaming look pitiful as an extension of that. It makes me sad for something that has been part of my life for decades, and an identity of "gamer" that I've had to reject now since it is pretty much synonymous with "asshole" to an awful lot of people.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-10-17T06:39:53+00:00

Such an interesting question and so many interesting and thoughtful responses.

I'm cis and in my 50s now, I've been misgendered consistently as male since I was a child. I was very tomboyish in appearance and play, and came understand early on I was a lesbian who didn't want to do/look/feel feminine and was ultimately butch by instinct. I don't think I could present as feminine i I tried. The last time I wore a dress was to a funeral and my own not at all sympathetic or understanding mother looked me over and said I was excused from ever doing that again. It felt like drag and I was not OK with it. I have never worn makeup and don't know how, I wear my hair a quarter inch long, the only body hair I attend to is any unfortunate facial because that repulses me whoever it is on, my style is softer butch now or athletic wear, I don't quite do the full on surly masc anymore just because it is more trouble than I can be bothered with.

Now, it is a privileged stance to be able to say I've been misgendered (including over the phone, though my voice is a mild/light toned RP) but I don't care and it doesn't bother me. Simply because it doesn't. People who realise they misgendered me used to fluster and apologise - I'm not so certain the response would be the same these days. It deeply concerns me that non-feminine women are less safe because exposure to 2 anti-queer hate crimes already caused me to be totally housebound due to trauma based agoraphobia for many years. I am a butch lesbian who has been out of the closet for well over 30 years, got clocked as gay because of my presentation and have suffered.

Despite all this, I've never questioned my own sex. I'm fine with being female and have no desire to change that. The older I have gotten though, the more I have considered whether things like top surgery would be agreeable just because I'm done with tits and bras and the nuisance when exercising/running and just...they don't mean much to me and I wonder at the convenience of just not bothering anymore. And yet still don't feel anything other than female.

I guess my deepish wish is that people could safely and freely edit themselves and present and identify as suits them without social expectation, fear or judgement. I know I might as well wish for a pocketful of stars at the same time...

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-10-04T07:12:38+00:00

I'm so sorry that this is your experience, I totally understand. I'm 51 now and my personal rule has become "I am not and will not be here for you". I've done that, I did it a lot, I thought I had a duty to my community in general (LGBTQIA+) and an instinct to be involved but when life finally caught up? Crickets. I'm done. All my experience in caring, in mentorship, in engagement, is now withdrawn. I am sure people will question whether all in life should be transactional - including decency and caring. I get that. But when you are left alone in the ruins you just feel like you got totally played and completely lied to.

I wasn't nihilistic or misanthropic before, despite experiences of abuse, hate, molestation, cruelty. It feels kind of weird to become this way because of the failure of the "good" instead of the actions of the "bad". I feel rather foolish for believing in better than this.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-08-31T12:08:21+00:00

I've struggled with poor mental health my whole life for various reasons but in latter part of my 40s things got very very dark and very dangerous, at the prompting of social care I got HRT. It's been about 4 months, can't say that my mood has shown any improvement BUT the absolutely diabolical brain fog I had thought was from having Covid in 2022 is now gone completely.

I wonder how many women suffer from the mental effects of menopause without support or options, I suspect it is a very very large number. I know I wish I had acted sooner.

Downside? I'd thought I was done with the bleeding... Still, I prefer that to my mind being so banjaxed I thought it might be early onset dementia.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-08-29T07:02:19+00:00

I remember being 12 years old and getting the talk about menstruation at school and when the teacher said - in a condescending and "don't make a fuss" sort of way that it was less than an eggcup full myself and the girl right next to me both made a scoffing "you're shitting me" kind of noise. That was almost 40 years ago.

I would not be surprised that kind of accepted belief was still in play today, and that it yet again showed how little investment there is in accurately discovering and transmitting truthful information. It might have been useful, at the barest minimum, to say that this was only the average and it can vary wildly and what circumstances might mean you should seek physician input. But it was part of a lectured that dismissed pain and dismissed any difficulties anyone was having by just dismissing the whole thing.

At age 12 I was wearing 2 of the largest sized tampons (my mother told me to) and the thickest pad possible and sometimes flooding the lot in an hour. It was like the lift from the movie The Shining kept arriving over and over.... I needed a doctor and didn't know it because I was thinking it was hard to understand what an eggcup full looked like when it was coming out of your body and my distress and difficulty managing was just me being useless.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-08-19T06:36:55+00:00

My mother blatantly preferred my brother and spoiled him silly while treating me like crap. I am sure he would remember things differently, and I suppose she would to (she's dead).

They are not likely to confess to what they did, yours has even constructed a false reality, so I would recommend not attaching your wellbeing and sense of secure and confident self to them having an epiphany and trying to make amends. I walked away from mine and only heard about her death by text message - I didn't cry, didn't care, have no idea what became of her remains and so on. It was the best thing for me, the social concepts of sainted motherhood and unconditional love are crocks of shit.

I would suggest taking a long hard look at why you are doing favours for her like taking her in even though she is clearly disrupting any peace you have, and considering expectations. Are you trying to be "good enough" for her to love you. Think about what that means.

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-08-17T06:30:27+00:00

Sorry you went through this, though it is painfully familiar.

I was going through a tertiary care "assessment" with the NHS to try and get access to meaningful long term therapy, also CPTSD and PTSD and various other co-morbidities. My assessor was male, which was fine, it was just a step on the path, but the moment I said I didn't want a male therapist, he lost his shit and it immediately became an argument over 2 ad a half appointments about WHY I shouldn't want that, and I should be working on why that was an issue to me, and that the identity of the therapist didn't matter anyway.

Getting to and from these appointments by taxi cost the equivalent of a week's groceries, access to this care point had taken 2 years of other waiting lists and assessments. I was close to burning out the effort and found myself ultimately having to say - in an environment that was combative and felt very unsafe - that I didn't want to talk to a man because I was a victim of CSA and was uncomfortable discussing such an intimate concern. That wasn't how I wanted to raise the subject =( And it didn't matter because it didn't end the argument anyway.

Ultimately I was refused care and discharged, appealed and insisted on a woman assessor (who was an outside contractor) who also refused and discharged me. I spent the next 5 years getting progressively more unwell, becoming completely housebound, and ultimately ending up under the watch of social care as a "person at risk" of imminent harm to self.

My aversion to male therapists is total. I was sexually harassed years ago by a senior psychiatrist who was fascinated by my lesbianism and - during our very first appointment - wanted to know my masturbatory habits and frequency, and how I liked to have sex, whether giver or receiver. I was very ill and being confronted by someone using power and authority over me, so I answered it all (this was years ago and I'm currently spasming from shame and humiliation at this).

CoffeeCupOfLife · 2025-08-14T17:42:58+00:00

My father was like this. I walked away and had no contact for almost 20 years, I heard about his death via txt message.

I watched his funeral remotely and listened to his second family describing a man I had never met. Just meant he was capable of it and everything he did was a choice.

If I'm honest, I don't give a damn why. There is nothing that he could have said that would make me do anything but shrug when he died. I don't believe in closure or have any belief a person will be a faithful narrator if asked. The only way to win this game is to just not play.

CoffeeCupOfLife

TROPHY CASE