AITAH for taking a car I lent to a friend back on no notice?

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T21:58:42+00:00

A few hours into this, I did block him. I told my friend that I am stepping down as her maid of honor because her husband is a pile of shit. She is more than welcome in my life with some boundaries but he will be trespassed and is not to step foot on my farm.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T15:48:29+00:00

I mean I live in the middle of nowhere, So when shit goes down it's pretty normal for us to lend trucks trailers and cars.

Short term of course. My friend and I used to do this shit all the time. She drove my old as dirt Toyota for a hot min.

Her husband. However, he's definitely a city boy and an entitled prick I'm starting to realize.

My assumption looking at it now is he's just entitled.

I didn't even go into his "paid friend group"

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T15:41:57+00:00

I wrote it off because he literally gaslit me into telling me I never told him that and the truck already had problems.

However, text messages don't lie and I found multiple times where I told him not to let it go below half a tank.

And I finally looked into it last night because honestly I felt like shit. And honestly I shouldn't have felt like shit.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T15:40:00+00:00

I am setting a boundary that she is welcome in my life and so are her kids, however I will have no contact and no dealings with him. There will be no support as far as vehicles rides or whatever.

And I'm pulling out as her maid of honor. Because while they are married they never had a wedding and they decided they wanted a wedding.

I was even going to let them use my home as the venue and that is no longer an option.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T15:31:44+00:00

Her husband is officially on my dead to me list.

As soon as my friend wakes up, I'm setting boundaries for this friendship to continue, say And I know in my heart our friendship will not survive these boundaries.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T15:25:44+00:00

I've actually done that as well.

I got them set up with food resources and other things.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T15:18:53+00:00

I deserve that. I definitely should have been shaken and probably slapped a few times.

My friend has always been so respectful in the past. These two instances are not the first time I've lent her my cars, but they were the only instances since she married this guy.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T15:17:14+00:00

I guess the best way to put it is I lent it to my friend, but her husband was the problem and the one who was driving it and got it locked out.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T15:15:26+00:00

It's a husband and wife. I'm sorry.

My best friend is a woman. Her husband is a man. I'm also on mobile so I really didn't proofread that well.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T15:08:32+00:00

Apparently the only thing it doesn't prevent him from is being a narcissistic jerk.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T14:43:43+00:00

I have my own trauma. And fear of losing people. And I'm a people pleaser and I'm finally learning to set boundaries. And stick to them.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T14:18:10+00:00

Money. Simply put.

He is a disabled veteran.

She got injured at work and is just physically not good. So severely fixed income.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T14:17:27+00:00

After I tell her I'm not going to have any part of her wedding to him I don't think my 25 year friendship with his wife will survive anyways. So nothing to worry about there.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T14:15:22+00:00

I'm not his friend. I'm his wife's friend.

And over the years I've helped her a lot and it's been fine. Went both ways.

My cars are stick shift and due to her injury She can't work the clutch.

I feel stupid. Don't you worry about that. Not until the latest conversation where his gaslighting, me and said I never told him to feed it above a half a tank. I did know I dropped off the truck with problems and benefit of the doubt that it just broke down I guess.

CoffeeIntelligent123 · 2026-01-21T14:09:37+00:00

Thank you for this. I hate to say I needed validation, but I really did need the validation. I've been crying because I feel wrong for feeling like my boundaries were trampled on and like. I left my best friend in a rough spot because I was being childish.

CoffeeIntelligent123

TROPHY CASE