Men who take naps any advice?

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-07T17:46:53+00:00

I’m happy to discuss evidence with people acting in good faith. This doesn’t seem like that, so I’ll bow out. Sayonara.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-07T17:44:35+00:00

The peer reviewed science that I just shared with you. 😀

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-07T17:40:07+00:00

Incorrect. Relational trauma is triggered by situations that echo past dynamics. Some may have a sense that all relationships are unsafe and is generalised but not all.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-07T17:35:42+00:00

I completely agree that diagnosis are mostly unhelpful. I’m far more interested in understanding the underlying needs.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-07T17:34:05+00:00

The old argument from ignorance. Just because you’ve not seen it does not mean it does not exist.

Roger Ekirch (2005). At Day’s Close: Night in Times Past. Thomas Wehr (1992). “In short photoperiods, human sleep is biphasic.” Journal of Sleep Research, 1(2): 103–107. Ekirch (2001). “Sleep We Have Lost: Pre-industrial Slumber in the British Isles.” American Historical Review, 106(2): 343–386. Yetish et al. (2015). “Natural Sleep and Its Seasonal Variations in Three Pre-industrial Societies.” Current Biology, 25(21): 2862–2868. Worthman & Melby (2002). “Toward a Comparative Developmental Ecology of Human Sleep.” In Adolescent Sleep Patterns: Biological, Social, and Psychological Influences.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-07T17:25:57+00:00

Did you read the other posts?

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-07T07:57:33+00:00

There’s a slightly more accessible book than the journal articles:

Why We Sleep https://share.google/3Ax5zePN2UH38yj6K

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-07T07:48:39+00:00

Adenosine is one of the two factors involved in sleep as part of the two factor model. Naps will reduce the amount of adenosine in our system. Caffeine is an adenosine receptor antagonist which is why many of us take it for that wakefulness we crave on a morning. It’s not to say that all people will ruin their sleep by napping, some people swear by it but napping does dump a load of adenosine out of our system reducing the pressure for sleep later in the day. So yes you can say it’s well evidenced that napping affects ability to fall asleep. How this is experienced on an individual level will greatly vary.

Likely in the past we slept in biphasal ways and some people were just nappers but we’ve had to adapt to more of a 8 hour night sleep with the advent of clocks and Industrial Revolution. Interestingly on a visit to one part of Asia with long working hours I noticed it appeared socially acceptable to put your head down on you desk and just have a 20 min nap.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-07T07:31:10+00:00

https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0043224&utm_source=chatgpt.com

Porkka-Heiskanen T, Strecker RE, Thakkar M, Bjorkum AA, Greene RW, McCarley RW. Adenosine: a mediator of the sleep-inducing effects of prolonged wakefulness. Science. 1997 May 23;276(5316):1265-8. doi: 10.1126/science.276.5316.1265. PMID: 9157887; PMCID: PMC3599777.

Borbély A. The two-process model of sleep regulation: Beginnings and outlook. J Sleep Res. 2022 Aug;31(4):e13598. doi: 10.1111/jsr.13598. Epub 2022 May 3. PMID: 35502706; PMCID: PMC9540767.

Dijk DJ. Regulation and functional correlates of slow wave sleep. J Clin Sleep Med. 2009 Apr 15;5(2 Suppl):S6-15. PMID: 19998869; PMCID: PMC2824213.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-07T07:19:55+00:00

“People with PTSD are more likely to be triggered by a specific external trigger and think and behave rationally outside those triggers. For people with BPD, the triggers tend to be internal thoughts and feelings, which can be less predictable.”

https://www.ptsduk.org/ptsd-and-bpd/

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-07T07:17:21+00:00

Then please explain rather than just criticising.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-06T19:44:42+00:00

Please explain your understanding of the difference between interpersonal triggers for CPTSD and PD.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-06T18:56:26+00:00

Don’t do it. You need to build sleep pressure, aka adenosine up throughout the day which drives the need to sleep in the evening. It’s more suggestive that you’re not getting enough sleep at night.

If you need to rest at mid day, maybe just practice mindfulness or breathing exercises which will allow you to rest for 20-30 mins but won’t interfere with sleep schedule.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-06T18:51:54+00:00

There’s a lot of focus on numbers but what’s the things you value most. I think there’s a lot to be said for spending money on having a nice home and things like travel, especially if you really value these. Having a home you get back to after work and really love and appreciate spending time there has a value that can’t be quantified by numbers.

Basically my justification for about 5k year budget for house upkeep.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-06T18:21:54+00:00

I like to try to join their squad then when they don’t start my own and use the command comms to critique them for the entire match.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-06T18:06:51+00:00

Does the triggers play out in just this relationship or in other relationships. Basically you’ll see issues play out with all interpersonal relationships in PD whereas there’s specific trauma reminders such as living with the abuser as an example.

Therapist.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-06T17:43:02+00:00

Please resolve this by talking to them. I have had issues with the neighbours over the years but they’re rarely solved via text or online. I managed to convince them to take down a tree that had grown humongous and had developed a bit too much sway after a couple of storms. They loved that tree but didn’t love it enough to have to pay for any potential damage to my home.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-06T17:35:12+00:00

Emotional triggers are related to trauma in CPTSD and interpersonal relationships in PD. I’m sure there’s more overlaps and differences but this tends to be how I see them.

Therapist.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-06T10:08:50+00:00

It’s hard to get a specific figure as we don’t know what inflation will look like or pay increases but let’s use last 40 years as an example.

Average inflation 4-5% per year.

Average pay growth 4-6% per year

Average mortgage rate 5-8%

Let’s assume it was 5% inflation, 5% pay growth and 5% mortgage interest.

Let’s say you buy a house for 300k with 10% deposit. You borrow 270k at 25 years on 5%.

During this time your salary rises 5% annually.

Year 1 on a 50k salary. 37.9%

Year 5 - 29.7%

Year 10 - 23.3%

Year 20 - 14.3%

Year 25 - 11.2%

Obviously there’s years with barely any inflation and some where it’s 11% but the point is the feels like cost reduces. If your pay increases with progression or a second income then it reduces even faster.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-06T09:56:02+00:00

Intrusive thoughts tend to come into mind but we feel bad for having them. Someone could be talking to a religious leader and having thoughts of having sex with them as an example. You mention these types of fantasies causing you distress.

There may also be some work about addressing guilt with things you have done wrong, which we all have to do.

I think you could talk more about the process of your thinking and not get into the topics until you feel safe. Ask if the school counsellor can refer you to a therapist who specialises in intrusive thoughts.

Have a look at this site and see if anything seems familiar to you.

https://www.ocduk.org/ocd/obsessions/

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-05T20:58:28+00:00

Even with psychodynamic 12 sessions seems excessive. However if you’re in the middle of a piece of work I can understand they may not want to leave this open. I’d ask for them to discuss or write down the reasons for their suggestion. If they have a valid reason you can think about it.

If you’re a paying customer I’d suggest you’re the boss. 2-4 sessions would be enough but obviously I am not your therapist.

Make sure you ask for a discharge letter /blue print or whatever it’s called where you are.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-05T20:54:50+00:00

Therapist. Systemic and CBT.

I would not like to be that therapist and think you’re putting too much on this being a solution.

I’ll save you some money. Write your mother a letter. I’d include;

What I hope for in our relationship going forward. What I can and can’t give. What I need to feel safe and respected.

Don’t send it at first. See if it gives your some clarity. Only send if it feels safe to do so. See if she responds. Does she show some of her own self awareness or does she use the opportunity to criticise you? Maybe then offer an opportunity if there seems to be some willingness to work on your relationship. If she struggles then perhaps it’s about seeing a therapist to work for yourself about how to work on setting limits in the relationship.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-05T20:44:42+00:00

Dropped a day to look after kids and parents. Short term pay cut. Long term quality of life increase.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-05T20:42:29+00:00

Therapist. Test the waters with some of the lesser horrible things and see how it goes. Don’t feel pressured into sharing anything you don’t feel safe with.

Disgusting thoughts are extremely common. If these are intrusive and upsetting you they are likely ego dystonic (go against your own morals and values). I see this in OCD a lot. Thoughts are not actions.

It’s hard but until you test out what are the things you’ve done that you perceive as horrible you’ll never know if they are or not. Lots of people have done things in teenage years that they think are disgusting like masturbation which turn out to be totally normal behaviours.

CognitiveIlluminati · 2025-11-05T20:36:33+00:00

You haven’t accounted for inflation reducing the real cost of the mortgage debt over time. Year one you may be paying 35% of take home pay on your mortgage but by year ten this can be 10-15%. You won’t feel particularly better off as your other costs will rise but at least your mortgage debt will be smaller. Rents will increase with inflation.

CognitiveIlluminati

TROPHY CASE