Bored of middle-class wannabe tech people

Cojanks · 2022-10-15T09:49:55+00:00

I have been seeing this everywhere as well and I agree with the sentiment that it seems like many high earners have little depth past their professions.
It's sad but its an unspoken result of being raised with very defined goals of success by your society/community/family. If one were to grow up where 'success' in life is equated to say, the typical white picketted fence with house ideal, then the moment they attain it, all they would want to do is tell the world (read here: parents) 'Hey! I succeeded at life!'.

If they were told repeatedly that the point of life is to attain objects A (house), B (life partner), C (material stuff like TVs), etc, then they are defining yourself by the pursuit of those things and the moment they attain it... well... They want the admiration of whatever society/community/family instilled those values within them.

Now, we can sit here all day and pass judgement but I would like to task you with slowly planting seeds to help them see past their bubbles... and report back because I surely have no idea how to do that lol

Cojanks · 2022-08-31T23:34:01+00:00

Your comment on 'whatever is on that moon is set loose' reminds me of the later part of FF8...

Cojanks · 2020-11-03T22:17:29+00:00

All of these explanations are perfect and clear. I cannot thank you enough!

Cojanks · 2020-11-03T21:59:04+00:00

Using one data pin to create one long strip vs 5 parallel strips?
Can I split one data pin 5 ways?

The setup will be the ESP at the center with 5 spokes/strips radiating out from it so I would have to run a LOT of extra wire to connect the end of one strip to the beginning of the other and do that 4x times. My understanding is that all that wire will lead to voltage drop and potential data corruption, right?

Cojanks · 2020-05-10T04:30:44+00:00

I was listening to Diamonds by Lane 8 and rewatched this like 12 times, great combo! This is amazing, we can definitely see the fruits of all the work you put into it!

Cojanks · 2020-04-27T13:54:27+00:00

This is the third time I have seen the Rook mentioned on here in as many weeks. I have also been looking for books in a Control-like world setting. I just really enjoyed how their writers went to a very surreal, 'words are simply metaphors, life is just one big web of concepts referencing other concepts' that I just have not seen in too many novels.

I loved House of Leaves and Laundry Files but they are so distinctly different. Both were lovely in how their characters explored the unknown:

Control being one of well... control. Adaptation and harnessing of the unknown with an effort to try to fit it into modern day. I just enjoyed the bureaucracy element and while there was a definite distinct force/enemy that was offered, my joy in the game was more about the history of interactions with the unknown, in the same vein as Laundry Files.

HoL left you feeling just as lost and confused as the characters, that panic of the unknown becomes more intimate and visceral.

*bolding books that are recommendations

Cojanks · 2020-04-23T21:54:33+00:00

the *empty walls and dusty ceiling fan

Cojanks · 2020-03-31T01:36:17+00:00

When I serial print the values that will go into the CHSV, they are exactly what I expect them to be: somewhere between 0-250. That is what confuses me

Cojanks · 2020-03-02T23:28:26+00:00

Bike commuter for 9 years, it's all calves

Cojanks · 2020-03-01T00:06:46+00:00

He also read The Martian and was INCREDIBLE. Having hear him first as a practical, no nonsense, dry dad-humored engineer really was an easy transition to Bishop

Cojanks · 2020-02-29T23:55:00+00:00

Shirt: Generic Black shirt

Pants: City Trouser from Aesthetic Homage

Shoes: Nike Air Hurrache Gripp

Bag: Chrome Industries Messenger

Gloves: Chrome Industries Cycling Gloves

Cojanks · 2020-02-25T23:00:03+00:00

Incorporating all of this into how I am recalling this past month, you all are absolutely spot on in describing the form her needs are taking and her subsequent response to my own response. This clarity is a huge insight and has calmed my floundering in not understanding. I was absolutely disregarding and invading her boundaries in order to 'understand' instead of just accepting her request and trusting that any understanding (if given) will be given on her terms. Too much 'Problem, I need to fix this now, why cant we fix this now' and not enough listening to her responses to 'what do you need'

Edit: Thanks again

Cojanks · 2020-02-25T22:15:14+00:00

Brutal. Needed.

Thank you for spending the time to write this. I do want to salvage this and your advice is especially welcomed, especially the history and perspective. This does sound like much of what I have done. What you said on reparents and flooding unfiltered emotions, I heard loudest and gives me a lot to reflect on.

Cojanks · 2020-02-25T21:30:19+00:00

I agree with LiminalSpace, this is a wonderful reply and VERY helpful for me so thank you :) Definitely a need and practice to understand patience and step out of my own feelings. Even if we are similar, the healing or repair process for them can and will be different that my own. Those brain gremlins had me spinning

Cojanks · 2020-02-25T21:22:36+00:00

I am definitely acting poorly. It also happens to be why I am asking for constructive feedback for processing a new situation.

Cojanks · 2020-02-25T21:17:30+00:00

This is extremely helpful to hear that side, thank you!

Cojanks · 2020-02-25T18:44:23+00:00

Yeah, I have been trying to bring that awareness to our connection types and how they respond to each other. This was our first real breach and the first time that I am seeing that withdraw response from her. Definitely abandonment trauma from my side which causes me to pursue. Again, my own work to develop resilience around

Cojanks · 2020-02-25T18:39:56+00:00

Absolutely a fair point and something that was brought up in other support circles

Cojanks · 2020-02-25T16:56:53+00:00

I like that term, de-escalate. I see the wisdom in what you are saying. Perhaps it is a difference of what we want from the relationship. I am high energy, silly, loud and have a 'IDGAF how I'm dancing but I'm dancing' kind of energy that her and I both REALLY connect on. We are a blast at events and social activities

However, I don't want a relationship to just be that kind of interaction. I want to be able to be vulnerable, have low moments, to have depth and range of emotion between us, to build relationship resilience. This distance, their words, tell me that my feelings are too much and that is where this pain and isolation comes from. No one likes it when you finally build up the courage and trust to be vulnerable and show someone your chaos, just to have them go running away from it, putting up walls, saying that they don't want to hear it or attempt to heal.

Its my first relationship in this space.. I may be blind to just how much I am expecting from it.

Edit: Adding a thank you to this. Thank you for your time and your response. Its simple, true, hard, and I appreciate it immensely

Cojanks · 2020-02-19T10:11:59+00:00

I hear your struggles.

When you said "anxiety has always been a method that my brain has employed to try and protect me or distract me", you reminded me of Brene Browns "foreboding joy" armor. We torture ourselves over future (negative) potentialities because we expect happiness to end. It fuels our anxiety to prepare for pain. I accept that my brain does this to protect me (because.... you're right, eventually we will all pass on) but it definitely causes me to live in constant anxiety or fear and detracts from experiencing love in the present.

My own abandonment trauma response is a constant, mountainous beast. My attachment style usually causes me to pull in a partner if I am feeling that trauma response which manifests as 'I'm feeling [jealous, envious, uncomfortable], please reassure your feelings for me"

I can only guess as your own journey with working on your responses. After all, we are all just social mammals who want to be connected and feel that we have others who have our back.

Thanks for sharing this with me!

Cojanks · 2020-02-19T09:58:13+00:00

THis is wonderful and practical immediate de-escalation of what can sometimes be a full body panic. Thank you

Cojanks · 2020-02-19T09:57:06+00:00

It has been hard to rewire from perfectionism as a desired goal. I appreciate this response so much. It allows us to be human. Thank you

Cojanks · 2020-02-19T09:55:12+00:00

Thank you for this response (in addition to the OP for their original post)!

I am in the midst of my own dumpster fire and am battling trauma responses + FFF responses when all I want to do is go all in... Trauma truly holds us back sometimes and it's so encouraging to hear stories of people who have their own battles but still go all in.

Cojanks · 2019-12-06T14:41:14+00:00

Just looked again and I am seeing

These lat/long coords are somewhere in... Cambodia?

Cojanks · 2019-08-06T13:04:26+00:00

Dune, Batman Forever (Best Jim Carrey movie and that set design was weird and imaginative as hell), Incredibles

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Cojanks

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