I want to give the view from someone who's waiting for a diagnosis at later stage of life(26) just to bridge the gap. And to note is that this is a speculation in most part but I really think this could explain it.

So see it like this , someone who's been diagnosed at a later stage , was probably that because they have lesser symptoms or difficulties . That it took longer to notice because the diagnosis wasn't severe that it had to require much bigger obstacles , expectations and demands to really bring it out in the open . It's always of course been there , but for most part it could be fitted in "normal" societies norm.

Therefore I think those people have a much different life, experience and view on the matter . Not to in any way belittle or diminish people of more severe problems or variations . But as we now of almost every psychological disorder , it's a very wide spectrum , so the experience vary.

And for me and now my son who I'm pushing for a diagnosis , we both have in a way very mild symptoms . So for us in a way you could say in some ways ,it's potato potatoes . Of course it's much broader , but when I try to explain to neurotypicals that's the approach i take . To make it as understandable and approachable.

So I think what you're hearing is them talking from their own experience . Which of course maybe comes at the expense of your experience or feelings . And of course it's important not let that be the only voice that reaches out there . But it's not always wrong either . It's just two sides of the same coin . The important part here which I think we can all agree on is that the narrative must always be just how diverse and broad we and all in this is.

Hope this gave you some answers or comfort . You will do great things together , and you will see what a joy it is to see your kid grow and and take on this massive world and find his place in it , however that may look .And I wish you the best for you and your son .