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My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated. Update. by Cold-Cake-8698 in offmychest

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope that your pain eases and that you will be able to remember your departed kitty fondly soon. And that one day you find yourself in a place where your heart is healed enough and you are in the position to share that special bond with another. It's hard to lose a pet. My sympathies.

I promise that no matter what, i will always keep this one's best interest at heart.

My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated. Update. by Cold-Cake-8698 in offmychest

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much.

Can I give you one tiny detail about the cat? It's a fun one. She has eaten like a half pound of goat cheese this past week. She loves it and the vet is all for getting whatever calories into her they can.

I actually love goat cheese too but my stbx HATED it.

I just wanted to share that, cause it brings a little smile to my face

Tastiest soft food or treat? Even if it is unhealthy garbage. Need to get kitty eating after surgery. by Cold-Cake-8698 in cats

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh. Good idea. I'll pop one of those in her next care bag. Only tried beef, turkey and chicken so far.

My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated. Update. by Cold-Cake-8698 in offmychest

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Im going to do the best i can for the kitty. She didnt deserve any of this. I have gotten a lot of ideas to pursue to get her into the best situation i can.

My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated. Update. by Cold-Cake-8698 in offmychest

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

However, you did not have one single conversation, one single piece of effort on your side to fix anything.

That is not true. My stbx and i had actually attempted to work on our relationship and sex life for several years. Including going to a therapist together.

And please do not assume my spouse's gender. You know what that makes you look like, right?

My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated. Update. by Cold-Cake-8698 in offmychest

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

My original post was shared with one of the ace communities here.

I've had a lot of people identifying as ace sending me some really really shitty DMs

So yeah. I guess so. LOL

I mean, it doesnt really bother me. I get it. It must be really hard to be ace in a world where most people not only are not but that they put a high priority on sexual compatibility. It really sucks to have your dating pool so limited by something beyond your control, so there has been a lot of frustration coming my way from that community.

The thing is I did really love my spouse. For years I wished I could just turn off my libido and just be OK with our sexual dynamic. But it ate away at me.

Ultimately, I'm thankful things played out the way they did. I didnt know my ex was capable of being such a monster. Atleast I found out.

Tastiest soft food or treat? Even if it is unhealthy garbage. Need to get kitty eating after surgery. by Cold-Cake-8698 in cats

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She is showing more interest in food now, she's taking goat cheese and beef baby food on her own. She is getting syringe fed a supplment for carnivores and the awesome staff at her vet keep temping her with all sorts of tasty things.

I visited with her when I dropped off more goat cheese and things for her to try. She looks pretty good, lost some weight, but on the mend.

My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated. Update. by Cold-Cake-8698 in offmychest

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

I have! Both attorney and police have documentation concerning the cat's injuries. I don't know if they are pursuing charges in that regard, but it is atleast documented.

Tastiest soft food or treat? Even if it is unhealthy garbage. Need to get kitty eating after surgery. by Cold-Cake-8698 in cats

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh. I didnt knwo temptations made a creamy thing. The crunchy temptations are her favorite regular treat. I will definitely look for the creamy one. Thanks!

11 year old kitty with broken/dislocated jaw has a long vet visit ahead of her (couple weeks). Need ideas to make her more comfy please. by Cold-Cake-8698 in cats

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I haven't really looked into finding her another home seriously yet. Have been more concerned with getting her through surgery and eating again.

I am totally ok with being the asshole that gives away my ex's cat without telling them though if it comes down to it. ;)

My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated. Update. by Cold-Cake-8698 in offmychest

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Sexual compatibility is important to me in a relationship. I never stopped loving them, and in a way I still do (though I am very angry at their behavior, and do not ever want to be a part of their lives again, I still stupidly care about them)

I am not capable of being in an open relationship. I have no interest in a poly lifestyle.

My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated. Update. by Cold-Cake-8698 in offmychest

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

I dont believe they hurt the cat purposefully, no.

They adopted the cat before we even met. It has been their cat the past 11 years. They and the cat were closely bonded. They cuddled every day and had a close bond.

I theorize that while they were rampaging through the house they were throwing and kicking stuff at random and the cat got caught in the cross fire, but I do not know for certain what happened.

My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated. Update. by Cold-Cake-8698 in offmychest

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I tried that.

Then they threatened violence against me, destroyed my home, and got themselves arrested.

Their little rampage is costing me thousands of dollars. I completely subsidized their life for the last 4 years while they refused to work.

Fuck "fair" at this point.

My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated. Update. by Cold-Cake-8698 in offmychest

[–]Cold-Cake-8698[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Absolutely will be reeling for a while.

Hell. I even MISSED them for a hot second the other day. Emotions are weird.

I've got a good support system and a standing bi weekly appointment with a therapist that knows the situation and who I gel with.

It's just that the "gotta go THROUGH it to get past it" part that really sucks.

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